How important is it to be with your "type"

[SausageSimon]

Let's say you really have a thing for blonde men/Asian men/tall men for example, and you ended up meeting someone without that quality who was amazing personality wise but not what you'd choose looks wise

Do you think it'd bother you down the line, honestly?

I'm not particularly interested or picky about how someone looks in terms of he must be muscly, a certain height etc I'm much more personality driven but I do have a particular type of man I am especially attracted to

Just wondering what others thoughts about this kind of thing are!

Yes it’s very important to me.

I think it's important to be attracted to your partner but it's possible to be very attracted to people who aren't your usual type.

I went on a date tonight which has prompted this because I had a fantastic time and really liked him. We had loads in common but looks and attraction wise I wasn't 100% sure, and the waiter was the kind of man I am attracted to and it did make me stop and think

I am going to see him again and see if anything more develops but it just got me wondering

I thought I had a type, then I met my husband and he didn't fit that "type" and there was an initial attraction, more curiosity on my behalf to get to know him cos he was completely different to me and everything I thought I liked.

As long as there's an attraction there, I think that means a lot.

I’m with someone I would now call the love of my life. He is absolutely not my type. But! I realised ‘my type’ had not exactly gone well for me in the past... His core values and his decency appealed to me. I got past the other stuff. I fancy the pants off him now which grew over time - which surprised me I’ll admit. So keep an open mind!!

I don't have a 'type' however, after my heart was broken, I vowed never to be so attracted to someone again..WRONG! NO attraction with the next one, and never did.

You MUST have an initial attraction, however small. As I found out to my detriment, it doesn't always 'grow'.

The thing is, that he might be your type now, but 10, even 5 years can change someone’s physical appearance drastically.

You might like blonde hair; but he might lose it.
You might like muscles, but he might get fat.

So, for me, initial attraction is important...but not as important as attraction to personality.

I don't think I have a type looks wise but I am attracted to people purely on the sound of their voices sometimes. Especially how they laugh (and at what!) If I met someone who didn't have a really knicker-dropping voice I wouldn't rule them out, but if they had a voice/speech I found irritating (monotone, nasal, kept repeating self) I don't think I could get past it.

The thing is in 5/10 years time someone can look very different, they aren't going to necessarily be your 'type' forever.

To me 'type' means sweet FA. Yes, obviously attraction is important however this can easily come from personality, someone being intelligent funny etc I find much more attractive in the long run.

Chose someone who you enjoy spending time with, who makes you laugh more than someone who is blond/tall, dark and handsome or whatever.

I think you have a type in your mind but when you get to know someone it doesn't matter. You need to be physically attracted to them of course, but that doesn't mean they have to fit the same mould. I've always found that personality changes the way you look at someone, someone you initially thought was attractive becomes less so, and someone you never thought you would like becomes more attractive. If I said what I think my 'my type' is, it hasn't actually reflected the 3 serious relationships I've had. They were completely different. You need physical attraction but you wont always see that straight away,

My DH wasn't the 'type' I'd generally gone for or that my friends thought I'd end up with! It was partly curiosity in the beginning, but now I don't think I'd find someone who understands be better. In summary, attraction is important but as far as type goes, don't rule anyone out too quickly!

DP is not my physical ‘type’ AT ALL.

He does however understand me on a deeper level than any other human I have ever known. We also share a sense of humour and make each other laugh daily. Add to that that he is kind, thoughtful, generous and loyal, does his fair share of housework and life admin, is great at fixing stuff, and gives the best cuddles.

Due to these attributes, he grew on me and I now find his cheeky smile and twinkly blue eyes really attractive. I vote for giving this guy a chance and having another date OP. Good luck!

Nah. Your "type" hasn't worked out for you so far, has it?

This is an interesting question. I'm online dating and have been dating 'my type', none of them have worked out. I'm currently chatting to a guy who seems nice, but isn't physically my type. I'm pondering if I should meet him due to this, but I can't seem to keep my type attracted to me so maybe I should give him a go!

I haven’t had a physical “type” for years. Did originally, but after a few attractions and relationships it soon became apparent that I’d experienced real chemistry with a range of body types - tall, short, curvy, slim - and found it painfully lacking the moment I scratched beneath the surface in many of those that were.

Given that, why would I limit myself? Physical types, in that manner, are nothing more than chocolate bar wrappers. They say nothing of what the contents will taste like. The only time I would consider physical type is when it says something about the person - for example, I tend to be a bit geeky, so someone who looks like someone from Love Island will likely send me running for the hills - but whether they’re blonde or dark haired with it makes no difference, so long as the chemistry is there.

Sometimes I wonder if requiring purely physical types isn’t more to do with our self-esteem - that we need a person who has certain unchangeable attributes in order to validate ourselves, hence the attraction.

Also, it would be interesting to discover what many of these undisclosed “types” are. Would it be wrong of me to not be surprised if a high percentage included “must be 6ft or over?” 😉

Physical attraction (not necessarily based on type) is a normal behaviour in my opinion, like anything you look at really. However, physical attraction wanes when that person isn't particularly likeable, or displays certain personality traits.

I think a 'type' is probably for youngsters.

@TossaCointoYerWitcher ..I have to confess I do tend to have a height preference, as I'm quite tall myself, though the older I get, the less that matters, and I have dated men the same height as me.

From the mix of people that I have shared some really magic moments with and crossed the threshold to naked encounters, there is no type for me, beyond someone pleasant.

@TossaCointoYerWitcher

I'm also keen to know what all of these types are too for other people!

When I was young I always said my type was a tall manly man kinda guy, but I always ended up with shorter guys who were usually quite lean or slim and they ended up becoming my type over time.

However, I really am attracted to black men and this is my issue!
It's not something as easily changeable over time as being muscly or blonde or having long hair etc

I was going to say it’s not that important but I’ve remembered a few years ago meeting a guy who was great and good looking in a blonde, skinny, well kept kind of way and despite a few dates it never really took off because he wasn’t what I like in someone which is tall, well built and more masculine. I think it’s worth pursuing for a few more dates to see if the attraction grows though as you never know

I think if the personality fit is right, physical attraction tends to follow anyway. My husband was my friend first and the physical attraction grew out of a good connection.

It's a very good question.

I'm most attracted to mediterranean or hispanic-looking men. However, if tinder is anything to go by, i mainly attract the male equivalent of me: mid-european-looking average joes. Usually with a gingery beard of some kind and a dadbod. Not sure if this is just because there are more of them statistically in the uk, or whether i should take the hint and lower my expectations. And OLD is just so superficial.

@RuffleCrow I'd expect it's because there are a lot more of them! My issue is I live in an extremely white area and like black men, I went into a nearby city in January and was sad I didn't live closer to there

This is a tricky one! I always had a particular type & was sure it was exactly what I wanted. Then I met DP & he is completely different to that. If I'd seen him on an OLD site I would have passed him by without a second thought (luckily we met in real life!!). Personally I'm really happy that I didn't let this get in the way as he's the most amazing man I've ever met & I'm totally in love with him & couldn't he happier.

BUT despite him not being my type I was & still am really attracted to him & we've always had amazing chemistry / butterflies when I see him etc. I do think this is important. Him not being completely my type was never an issue because of this as I completely fell for him & was just so excited to spend time with him right from the start. If you're having to question it then I wonder if that chemistry is there? Though if it were me I'd say spend some more time with him & see how you feel. If he's The One you'll know & whether or not he's your type becomes irrelevant.