How important is it to be with your "type"

[SausageSimon]

Let's say you really have a thing for blonde men/Asian men/tall men for example, and you ended up meeting someone without that quality who was amazing personality wise but not what you'd choose looks wise

Do you think it'd bother you down the line, honestly?

I'm not particularly interested or picky about how someone looks in terms of he must be muscly, a certain height etc I'm much more personality driven but I do have a particular type of man I am especially attracted to

Just wondering what others thoughts about this kind of thing are!

My dh doesn't fit my type at all. But I love and fancy the bones off him.

I swiped on my now bf because he looked interesting and laid back, even though he isn't my usual type at all physically.
He's much more attractive to me now we know each other, and if I was to date someone else I suspect I'd now consider men more like him physically too. Iykwim.

I don't have a physical type, tall/short/muscly/skinny/black/white/Asian/beard/no beard... if you put all my ex's together in a room and asked someone what the common denominator was looks wise they'd never be able to tell you.

Personality wise I do have a type though, they've all had very similar character traits (some of them not great, tbh). I've gone against my 'type' to a point with current partner, it seems to be working out so far.

That's interesting @amillionwishes

My type line up and would be like yours a mixed bag, but if in date order it would go from all similar white men, to 2 very different black British men, a Greek guy and a Romanian man

Sometimes I feel like I've lost interest in white British men, does that sound silly? I feel silly for feeling that way

My H is my type and yes, it was important to me. When dating, attraction was either there or it wasnt, i could never convince it to develop over time no matter how much i tried.

I cant be with someone I am not attracted to- whats the point? youre basically just friends otherwise so yes, attraction (rather than type) is very important

Is anyone willing to share by what they mean as their type?

Well. IME my type is taller than me, dark and handsome. I went out with someone who was blonde, and not as handsome as the others. Our sex love went down the pan pretty quickly but we were together 3 years. But he also wasn’t right for me in other ways so we never would have stayed together, so I definitely don’t judge it on looks.

Shortly after, I met my husband who is tall, dark and handsome. We are very happy.

Tall and slim, lanky really is my type.
BF is tall but far from slim. He's clever and he gets me, and we are both fairly low maintenance /don't play games I suppose. It's good.

My type: tall, muscular, non-white, olive skin, dark eyes, dark hair, large hands, and I guess stereotypically "manly"- i know its a bit cliched but I cant help whom i'm attracted to!

Tall, rugby player physique. My dh is 5'8" and stocky. Although he is my type in personality, so intelligent, funny, articulate, sociable, outgoing and kind.

@FeedMeChoc sorry, if you’re type is “handsome” how can you not be judging on looks?

I mean, I can get (just about) how tall, short, tanned or pale might be a “type”. However “handsome” is just saying “I don’t date ugly blokes” is it not?

@SausageSimon I don't think it's silly to have decided from dating a few guys what your "type" is physically, no.

My 'type'... they have to be funny, with a decent amount of banter. Not some boring, routine led guy who couldn't possibly just pack up on a Saturday morning and go on a crazy weekend because it's not been planned for weeks, but also someone who does future plan to a point, have ambition and drive. Kind, patient but not a push over.

I don't ask for much!

Off the back of this I've started watching Love is Blind on Netflix this morning, it's only based on personality which is interesting!

@Sausage, I'm also more attracted to black men and live in an area where it is predominantly white. It hasnt worked well for me which I think is partly because there is a smaller pool of men who I can date and I seem to in the past go for complete wankers, so I am trying to change the men I date and go more for personality over attraction.

I am less physically attracted to white men though and its something I am unable to change, despite trying to date guys who had nicer personalities. I just didn't want to sleep with them.

I'm hoping I'll meet someone who is nice (any race) and there is some attraction which will grow but I haven't found the complete package yet. My counsellor thinks my 'type' developed from wanting to date the complete opposite of my Dad physically 😂

Well my type was black men who dressed very smart/flash city type- or so I thought

My husband is white and a offshore oil worker and reall does kinda live up to the rig pig stereotype who cuts about in old clothes most of the time

But I love him dearly and very much attracted to him.

I don't believe in having a type anymore

That's true @SausageSimon. I live in a very WASPy area now, but grew up somewhere much more multicultural which i suppose is where my tastes were formed. Maybe we should move?!

My physical type was tall dark and handsome until I met my DH who is tall and blonde. My mother’s type was tall and blonde until she met my father who has very dark hair.

I think you have a physical type until you meet someone who is the right fit.

My type is very broad/chubby/plump with a beard. Hair or without. I like a full face, I'm not attracted to very slim bodies or faces. I seem to attract the skinny guys though!

I have had a rough type of man I think attractive, in that if you put all the men I have ever though good looking, including actors etc, in a room, there would be some common ground between most of them looms wise.
Occasionally though, I have found someone completely different attractive because of a very attractive personality. I have also quickly found a man less attractive when I have spoken to him..!
I think there is that instant across the room second glance thing, based on looks alone, and then a deeper connection based on personality.

Personality and temperament are much more important. I hit lucky and 30 plus years ago met a blonde, muscular, twinkly eyed hunk. 30 years on I'd never have imagined fancying a balding silvery chap with a rotund tum and a few hairs on his back - I still fancy him because he's loyal, kind, moral, shares my values and has a sparkling intellect.

Looks wise ! Not looms wise ? 😂

Getting quite a mixed bag of messages here!

What I think I'm getting from it all is that it's just attraction that is important and sometimes you find that within your usual type and sometimes someone completely different comes and surprises you instead

My husband is the complete opposite of my physical type. But we couldn't be happier

I’ve always liked long haired men but my DH is the hottest man in the world and went bald over 25 years ago!
Once you are middle aged, the long haired men pool shrinks considerably, of course 😂

That said, I didn’t find DH attractive from photos alone but we bumped into each other randomly and he said ‘oh, I know you from the internet’ and from then on I definitely fancied him, although we didn’t date until we were both single 18 months later. It must’ve been a smell thing, a kind of mammalian attraction.

So, I think it’s perfectly possible to madly fancy someone who isn’t your usual type but I think you have to meet in person to know you fancy them.

We met through ordinary social media but if it had been a dating app I would definitely have swiped left (too grumpy looking, too mean looking, too cool looking, too BALD looking 😂)

I usually go for personality rather than looks (although there has to be an attraction of course). I've always gone for men a year or two older than me (but no more than 2 years) who are outgoing/extrovert and sporty. They have to be very confident to get my attention and when they do, things usually get intense pretty fast.

Yet somehow, I'm currently dating the quietest most reserved man ever. And he's 10 years younger than me! And we're moving VERY slowly. It's taken me a while to get my head round everything being so different to my 'usual type' (whether it be men or relationships) but I'm actually quite smitten and willing to move at his relatively slower pace if that's what it takes to be with him. To use an old-fashioned word, it actually feels like we're "courting". It's quite nice. I usually do everything at a hundred miles an hour (hence my user name).

I met him in real life (I don't do OLD) in my gym although it took 6 months before he'd really speak to me. He still doesn't really speak to anyone else there. Took even longer to get him out on a date. He's the complete opposite of me as well as being totally different to my usual type. But my type hasn't worked out for me so I'm willing to try something/someone totally different. It could go either way. It's either going to get very serious or I'm going to want to murder him for being so reserved and sensible. Despite the 10 year age gap, he's very much the grown-up in our relationship. So far I'm smitten. But I have form for falling out of love just as quickly as I fall in love so only time will tell if this guy has what it takes. He's doing well so far.

Are you saying your particular type is a specific race I.e. black?

Can only speak for myself but (esp if you're younger) being v attracted to/fixated on a specific race turned out to be a phase. And not something to base a type on (exclusively).