Doesn’t just apply to dating men, women can be just as “tricky”
That dating wasn’t just about “am I good enough for them” but very much “are they good enough for me”
“When someone tells you who they are believe them” SOO Many of the people I’ve dated have said something early on in a “jokey” tone about a fault of theirs which was absolutely true!
“I’m hopeless with money”
“I’m rubbish at housework”
“I’m never growing up”
“I hate having to work”
Etc etc
My advice to anyone would be when someone you’re dating says something like this pay heed!
“That being single is a valid life choice.” YES!!! I have put that one across to dd, unfortunately though I worry it’s gone too far the other way as she has her bar set very high and dumps for the slightest infraction.
People do not fundamentally change. Some minor aspects MAY change with maturity/life experience but who they ARE doesn’t. So if they’re:
Tight/overly generous
Selfish/people pleaser
Lazy/workaholic
Unambitious/high achiever
Needy/overly independent
Introvert/extrovert
Uber organised
Etc
They won’t change.
You need to decide what traits you can/cannot live with long term and accept everyone has faults so you need to know what are your personal “deal breakers”
So often I’ve seen relationships break down, sometimes after decades because one party has decided they can no longer live with whatever trait that the other person has ALWAYS had, which is sad for both and not really fair on the person with the trait.
Honesty really is the better policy.
Honest communication solves a lot!
Be honest about money, sex, housework, work, relationships with friends...
Trust is good. But don’t be naive and don’t be a “cool wife” it’s self defeating.
I’m afraid I do think based on my life experience that if a man gets the opportunity to cheat and remotely thinks they won’t be caught they’ll chance it.
Women cheat too but ime not to the same level or at the slightest opportunity.
I’ll maybe get flamed for that but it’s honestly been my experience. Out of all the men I’ve known I can count on one hand those that have never cheated on someone or been an om.