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Relationships

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Original poster

how often do you see one particular friend?

17 replies

thegardener · 04/09/2007 20:11

I have a friend that until the last 3 weeks due to holidays etc. that i used to see quite a lot of, but i found it's got to the stage of being too much (we used to go to the gym twice a week, meet up at each others houses probably once a week & go to 2 toddler groups)

I do enjoy her company but just don't want to see that much of a friend. What would you do?

How often do you see your friends?

OP posts:

LucyJones · 04/09/2007 20:12

once a week, only time I saw loads of close friends was at uni and yes, it often got a bit too much

kathryn77 · 04/09/2007 20:14

Once a week too! More and it gets to much, although sometimes see a friend at play group, then also a play date too but at playgrooup, speak to many more people too

rantinghousewife · 04/09/2007 20:14

I'm rather fond of my own company, so I make an effort to see a couple of friends a couple of times a week. Probably means I'm a complete psycho but, there you go

princessmel · 04/09/2007 20:15

I see one friend a lot. Maybe 3 times a week, sometimes more. Sometimes its only once a week.
Its been the holidays so we've seen more of each other. I like it. The kids like it too.
I prefer being with people than alone I think.
Others its a bit more spaced out.
But this holiday I've seen someone virtually every day. Either here, or at there houses or at the park, farm etc.

artichokes · 04/09/2007 20:24

Since having DD I have one other mummy friend who I see about twice a week and two others I see once a week. I don't find twice a week too much - we always do stuff with the kids rather than just sit and talk.

Before moving in with DH (when he was DP) I lived with my two best friends for years. Even in a small flat I never really felt it was too much as I had a big room I could retreat into if I needed space. However I have felt crowded when holidaying with friends because then you are together every minute, day after day.

Original poster

thegardener · 05/09/2007 08:21

Thanks for your messages, i feel much better now.

I do enjoy my own company aswell as spending time with friends, it's just nice to get a good balance isn't it.

I think if i stick to seeing my friend a few times a week that will be better, we also meet up in a big group aswell occasionally which is nice, just wish i could meet a few of the other mums occasionally, as i only have a couple of friends.

OP posts:

HorseyWoman · 05/09/2007 10:21

I see my best best best friend once a fortnight/every 3 weeks. But we both have careers and she does shift work as a police officer. We have been best mates since school and love spending time together, but I'd be convicted of murder if I spent that much time with her!! We go to cinema or a meal or pub. We are both in our early 20s but don't have the early 20s social life!

When I was at uni I did have close friends but they ended up being backstabbers (2's company, 3's a crowd and I was the one forcing the crowd!) and the ring leader, funnily the youngest by a couple of years, got pretty nasty. So I distance myself with new people now and try to build up trust first, rather than rush in to make friends. I get on with everyone but wouldn't be friends with everyone. Anyway, tangeant there. I saw them 4 times a week at uni and it all got a bit much.

HorseyWoman · 05/09/2007 10:24

Yes, when we were best friends at school (1998/year 10-2002/year 13) we did fall out often. And some of that was definitely schoolgirl nonsense, but a lot was also down to us being with each other all the time, doing the same A level subjects because we were so alike, competing with each other (and me ending up being better at English than her and indeed anyone in Wales!). She developed a controlled jealousy towards me, which was worse because we were together so much!

Original poster

thegardener · 05/09/2007 19:58

Hw, thanks for your messsage, it's a nice idea to meet up regularly with a friend for a meal etc, something i don't do enough of & should

OP posts:

rantinghousewife · 05/09/2007 20:23

Tbh, thegardener, I think most people only have a few (real) friends as opposed to people you just know. A school mum I know thinks I have loads of friends just because I know a lot of people and that's not the case at all, I just happen to know a lot of people to say hello to but, when it comes to meeting up and having to maintain a conversation, then i find it more difficult.
I think that is the case for most people.

Original poster

thegardener · 06/09/2007 18:24

Yes i think you're right RHW, my pil must be the exception to the rule as they have sooo many friends they get together with it's unbelievable, nearly every weekend they're meeting up with some different friends, perhaps they don't enjoy each others company that much

I have 2 friends that i see on their own & we ocasionally meet up with abig group from toddler groups.

OP posts:

filthymindedvixen · 06/09/2007 18:28

I have around 5 particularly close friends who I see regularly (ie a couple of times a week) (2 of them at the same time, we make a fab coven, heh heh).
One I see every day in the playground, but I would rather see her out of school as I find that clinging to each other in the playground puts other people off talking to us and I am always open to making new friends - even if they are just lovely aquaintances

Original poster

thegardener · 06/09/2007 20:37

With my friend i seemed like we would go everywhere together & couldn't really form other friendships without condidering her aswell. It is nice to make new friendships or new aquaintences like you said FMV, i agree it can put other people off talking to you if you're always with the same person.

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 18/10/2007 22:31

nearly every day lol but i get lonely otherwise.

Mum2Luke · 18/10/2007 22:45

I see her everyday! She is a childminder like myself and we do alot with the kids, have a good moan about things.

I've never been one to live in someone else's pocket though, my friend (Donna) has a school friend who sounds a bit controlling in that when I asked my friend if she wanted to come to see Take That as I have a spare ticket, she more or less told her to try and get some on Ebay so that she could go.

I go where I want and do what I want, there's no way I'd tell Donna not to do something like that, we go out on a Friday night to the pubs where we dance and drink alot! We don't talk about our jobs 'cos we can't hear anything anyway!

I think you need friends but you can also live without them!

PurpleOne · 19/10/2007 01:39

Lucky and glad to hear you all have such close friends.

My BFriend lives in Porutsmouth, I live in London, I see her once every 6 months if I'm lucky. I have no close friends here, I dn't do the night out every Friday (wish I could)

How can I mkae more friends? Close ones?

Have no family support, exH has the kids for 2 hrs a week, pays nothing, can't go out.
Sorry to the gardener for hijacking your thread, but you all don't know how lucky you really are, be appreciative, tell them you love them, hug them............

bigboydiditandranaway · 19/10/2007 20:40

Sorry to hear that you haven't made any new friends yet PO, i'm sure you will soon it just takes time. Have you any groups you could get involved in with the kids, toddler groups, after school clubs? How old are your children?

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