So I know there will be a alot of mixed responses to this..as yes I went in to this niavely but also knowing the potentially risk...but here we go I have been casually hooking up with my older boss for roughly 4 months..he pursued me...and after encouraging me to go for a job within his team after working in a different sector of the company i did and was successful and then he began a text message conversation with me one evening the same week stating how he had provided a glowing reference on my behalf...
After texting for awhile he stated that colleagues of his had told him I liked him and he wanted to clarify...this went on for a couple of weeks messages back and forth until he stated he fancied me..He then stated he wanted a NSA causal relationship as he was a bad bet for commitment and he didnt want a gf... in which I myself was happy with and after exchanging messages back and forth for a few weeks it began...
Everything was fine he would come to mine during the week after work. He would always initiate and liked the control if I suggested anything he wouldn't give me a definitive answer always maybe,possibly. If I asked would he like to see me he would never directly say yes (only if you want too) etc...he had expressed he struggled with emotions.
However a month in the lines began to blur..usually we would have sex then he would leave..we only spoke about work etc it was all casual however due to the distance between us he invited me to his place one weekend and I stayed the evening and we shared the bed..again though still felt casual..
Until the last few weeks I have stayed at his place every weekend and out of the blue he decided we would go out (he'd never taken me anywhere) it was purely in the bedroom but I was there and I agreed we had drinks, played pool (it was actually surprisingly fun and not awkward) we was both intoxicated however enjoying ourselves and each others company but then he brought up the conversation about 'what do I want' and began asking me alot of probing questions in which continued when we returned to his..he mentioned things unusual like how good he was with kids, (almost selling his good attributes to me) also I have a child from a previous relationship as does he..he mentioned i would benefit from an older man in a relationship, and asked if I was seeing anyone else if I had any intention too also brought up liking me and courting me (yes there is an age gap) and that night after sex he cuddled me in bed in which he has never previously
I tried to bring this up with him sober the next day to which I got the response 'I don't remember' I briefly mentioned the conversation and asked if he would like another one sober in which he agreed...however everything remained lighthearted and flirtatious (the conversation didn't happen) we then hooked up again the weekend after and again he took me out and the exact thing happened again he made remarks of coming home to me every night, having a family etc etc, even inpregnating me, stating I dont like people so the fact I have been seeing you for this long I obviously like you as more than what we are doing....(all again said intoxicated) but very specific nevertheless. I stated I liked him to and if this was to carry on for a longer period I would inevitably want more from this
Again sober (he didnt acknowledge the conversation, nor wish to answer anything about it when asked)
Cut to last week I was sick of him never addressing the subject sober so I asked him straight out whether he liked me more than a fwb or not? In which he said your alright I asked him to be more specific and he stated yes..so I asked if maybe he would like to stay over one night during the week to which he stated was a bit of a commitment..in which I laughed off and stated it was no different then me staying over at his on a weekend..
We remained flirtatious in and out of work however this week..i had a fall and had to go to hospital and he txt me and checked in alot and was being very supportive however when I stated awwh you do care then..he replied no I was just bored waiting to eat...sarcastic as ever..but heres where things changed towards the end of this week we was at lunch with a couple of colleagues and I recieved a phone call from a friend..in which i left the table to take on my return he was sat at the table alone as they had gone to get a drink and he stated 'that one of your boyfriends' 'at least I know where I stand' he then left
I later text him to ask what he meant by that and was a little sarcastic as a was pissed off and said is it a case of you not wanting me but no-one else can either? To which he then asked me a straight question of was I sleeping with someone else? In which I immediately replied no, i then asked why was he? To which he didnt provide me with a direct answer but rather 'I will not dignify that with a response' I was pissed off that he felt the need to ask me however wouldn't reply himself directly so asked him again 'well are you?'
To which I then got 'whatever you know I want a quiet life and this is turning into nagging, if you keep this up this will be stopping'
To which pissed me off to no end because I wasnt the one who has made the comment in the first place so I replied saying that to which he said
Let's call it a day now then to avoid any confusion..when I then asked why has this been blown out of proportion
He then stated
That I wanted more from this I was to make plans have commitments and a relationship which he doesnt want and cant give me and he doesnt like or want to answer questions
The following day we went to work together and it was slightly awkward but bearable I attempted to reach out over the weekend to which I got a shit message of why are you texting me we have had fun it's now over so dont..
However now here is the big thing..I've just found out I'm pregnant (I was using contraception before anyone calls me out for that) and I dont know what the hell to do if i try and communicate he will think i am using this as an excuse because of the current situation but it's really just shocking timing and I'm freaking out because I have to see him tomorrow!
Someone give me some advice please!!