Has anybody had a commitment ceremony and how was it?

[Terrierqueen]

I'm toying with the idea of a commitment ceremony. I like the idea of having a big party/reunion but because of inheritance/property reasons I have some hesitation towards marriage. I know prenups can be overturned /ignored So I'm a bit iffy about them.

Is the ceremony very similar to a wedding? Did you wear a wedding dress? How did family/friends take it? TIA

Batshit. Thanks for the giggle.

Just have a 10 years together party. Family's travel for peoples wedding anniversary parties or 40th parties so put on a decent party and they will probably come.
But a non commitment commitment ceremony would be odd.

You just keep reiterating all the reasons you don’t want to get married, op, and none at all justifying inviting all your friends and family to “celebrate” - what, exactly?
There’s no event, it’s just life; and somebody getting on with it in a manner of their choosing
If I was invited to celebrate somebody getting on with their life just like the rest of us are doing I’d think they were a self obsessed diva, to be honest.
And I wouldn’t go, either.

So when people ask why it's a commitment ceremony rather than a wedding, are you going M say 'because I don't want him to be legally entitled to any of my parents' money'?

I would honestly say because I don't like/believe in the British system. Other countries I wouldn't have the same issue.

I think it's quite a nice idea actually. I never understand people who get so angry about someone asking them to attend a party essentially . And it's a nice reason to have a party surely?

Make it a sort of black tie dinner and then you get your frock and your menu planning etc... do a little speech about how much you love your DP-and maybe about how different situations suit different folk-I understand why you would want to prefect your parents gift to you-it doesn't mean you love your partner less-it's realism vs romanticism is all.
I'd find it all quite sweet and would be pleased to be invited and get a chance to dress up-and I wouldn't be annoyed by it at all.

*protect. Not perfect

Friends had a "wedding" with a Humanist celebrant. As it wasn't legally binding, they had a no-guest registry office wedding to do the legal bit beforehand. Just leave off the legal bit.

I do agree that it seems a bit odd to have a "wedding" without the actual marriage bit though.

My friend and her dp had a commitment ceremony. She wore a beautiful ( not white/ivory), got an expensive ring, hired a venue, had food/drink/ speeches etc so basically a wedding with no service. It was a lovely day and very enjoyable but a bit pointless really!

Gosh, if you want to do it, crack on. A colleague did something similar as she wanted to ringfence her hardwon assets so they go to her daughter when she dies, not to her partner.

The people who count, the people who love you, will come along and enjoy - and other people (like cynical Mnetters) will make their excuses.

Get legal advice OP, it's sad that this is impacting on what sounds like a great relationship
I'm not a lawyer but it might be possible to put it in trust for your children and you and your partner have the benefit of the income from the trust until the kids inherit

Although £400k is a lot of money in someways it's not be because house prices are so high. I am also due to inherit a similar amount but would never of considered not marrying my DH in case he tried to swipe it from me.. that's BECAUSE I am committed to him and our children...

What you are really after OP in a NON- commitment ceremony...

You were committed enough to bring a child into the world with your partner but not committed enough for marriage. Which is sad.

Stay as you are. You want the dress it's as simple as that.. but with the dress comes the 'with all my worldly goods I thee endow.. if the shoe were on the other foot I would be a very upset partner...