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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found Valentines card last week - not given to me.

102 replies

MissMollysDolly · 14/02/2020 19:30

This morning, woke up to a card and flowers from OH. He’d already gone to work. All very lovely. Other than, it is not the same card that I found in his car last week, when I had it as mine was in for repairs.....For additional info we have been married for 16 years so it’s not a new relationship. Been stewing about this all day. Scared to confront him about it.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 14/02/2020 20:22

I have found cards I and OH have mislaid and had to buy another one. I am always mislaying cards, have a folder for them. Found a fathers day one in the folder the other day, thought aha that will do for this year if I remember it.

applesnpears1 · 14/02/2020 20:23

If it were me I'd just go out to the car and look , if he asks what your doing say looking for something, if it's not there then question it.. good luck

SunshineCake · 14/02/2020 20:27

If you've got nothing to help with then just click watch the thread.

Q

Lurking.

all rude.

OP, I hope it is nothing but if things aren't great either way you need to have a conversation.

MrsSiba · 14/02/2020 20:29

Can you remember where it was in the car? Hope your children fall asleep quickly so you can go and check the car and then let us all know!

forumdonkey · 14/02/2020 20:30

You said you borrowed his car so go and check and if he asks what you're doing tell him you've lost a glove or scarf and say that you thought the last time you had it was when you borrowed his car.

nameymcnamechangeagain · 14/02/2020 20:32

Hope my DP never looks under the bed because I could decide this year so just kept buying random cards as I see them now have a pile of about 10....however, had the role been reversed I would be thinking same as you! Not helpful!

PixieDustt · 14/02/2020 20:34

I'd check the car before he had a chance to!

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 14/02/2020 20:38

Tell him you’ve left something in his car.

EverythingsEasy · 14/02/2020 20:38

My DH once bought me 2 card because he had completely forgot that he bought the first one (only a couple of days earlier). There definitely could be a valid reason but I’d do a bit of digging just to put your mind at rest.

EverythingsEasy · 14/02/2020 20:39

And yes, just say you can’t find your bank card anywhere and you’re going to check the car incase it’s in there.

RoxanneMonke · 14/02/2020 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mary1935 · 14/02/2020 20:39

I think it’s fishy. One was too wife - the other more general and left in the car. I’d start checking around.
Good luck.

MrsDilligaf · 14/02/2020 20:40

Its hard when things are feeling a bit unsettled in a relationship, but please remember that although he's had the time and opportunity to cheat it doesn't mean he has.

I'm another one who is always forgetting that I've bought a card, then buying another (and another...) so I hope that he's done something like I'd do, which is take it into work to write and then leave it on my desk!

Emmelina · 14/02/2020 20:41

He may have realised you’ve probably already seen the card “oh crap, she had my car and the card was in there!”, and decided to get another.

MrsSiba · 14/02/2020 20:44

This thread reminds me of Emma Thompson and the necklace from Love, Actually.

Bastard.

Jenasaurus · 14/02/2020 20:46

I stumbled across a selection of different cards I have bought over the months and then forgotten I had bought them as I buy them when I spot them...and then forget so get other cards, this is the likely outcome, I hope

Notspontaneous · 14/02/2020 20:46

Just to give your DH a break, I have been known to buy one Valentine’s or anniversary card and then spot another one I like more and buy that. It’s possible there’s an entirely innocent explanation!

Legoandloldolls · 14/02/2020 20:47

Hopefully it was your card and he just couldn't find it. I hope it's still in his car.

DimplesMcGee · 14/02/2020 20:48

Once or twice I’ve bought Valentines cards for DH, then found one I like more so bought that instead. Hopefully it’s just something like this.

Notspontaneous · 14/02/2020 20:50

@Jenasaurus, not just me then Grin

Although could I find any of the old ones when I went looking last night having run out of time to get one on the way home? Of course not.

Thank God for Pinterest and the kids’ craft box.

GabsAlot · 14/02/2020 20:51

i wouldnt ask he just lie-try and find the other card first

Original poster
MissMollysDolly · 14/02/2020 20:53

It’s there! In the car exactly where it was. Phew. Big relief as this has been niggling away at me. Thanks for all replies.

OP posts:
momtoboys · 14/02/2020 20:54

It probably fell on the floor of the car, he stepped on it, dirtied it and he had to buy a new one. My DH is always doing something like that.
Hope all is well.

MardiBras · 14/02/2020 20:57

Unless you've any other major concerns I'd assume he'd just managed to get a nicer one, which he gave you.

I have to say though, I was queuing in a supermarket last night, when the man behind me at the till placed a bunch of roses, an arrangement of roses in a bag, two Valentine's cards and two boxes of chocolates on the conveyor. Actually they weren't chocolates, but boxes of nougat.

I had so many questions but didn't have the nerve to ask who they were for.

kcw1986 · 14/02/2020 20:59

Glad for u OP but I’d still have a chat with ur DH about the status of your marriage

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