Fiancé has lost it!!

[Kel9]

Hi ladies...

Looking to rant really. This all sounds so petty.

My oh and I get married soon and we have a good relationship I mean I feel like we are very compatible and I would say soul mates and he’s a laugh a minute. He’s a big joker I mean he jokes all the time he’s even done this with arguments.. which had fucked me off. He will talk about being annoyed with a straight face about something so I get offended or upset then he’s like I’m joking!!! 😡 I’ve learnt to ignore him but it’s like the boy who cried wolf as I never know when he’s serious.

So last night I was up lots with tooth ache and asked him to turn over in bed as I was sore lying a certain way. ( I’m weird I hate facing people when I sleep) He lost it! He was like for fuck sake blah blah I just thought he was having a sleepy rant..... but no! He took offence to this.

This morning he left for work without saying bye and when I called him over he ignored me? 😳

I text him this morning to say have a good day as I didn’t hear from him like I usually do and he text me back with a really blunt response and no kisses saying he was really pissed off and didn’t want to say goodby to me this morning and that was it.

It’s a load of bollocks it’s not like it’s anything major and how he’s acting now has made me pissed off with him. I’ve just text him to say this is out of the blue (his behaviour) and to have a nice day. He’s not responded and I’m not going to either.

This all sounds like petty nonsense. What the hell is going on?!?

Don’t be livid. Be free. He’s shown you who he is.

To be honest this signals larger problems and I'd be seriously reconsidering this relationship. I certainly wouldn't be marrying him.

Don't marry him. I actually think his behaviour is abusive. Going silent is manipulative - he's waiting for you to crack. And not knowing if he's 'joking,' or not means you will end up constantly walking on eggshells. Run while you still can.

Hmmm, all the ' I'm joking' stuff after disagreements or discussions seems a bit weird.

He isn't looking like the most caring or sympathetic partner towards you being in pain with toothache. Shove him on the couch. You won't wake him up then.

TBH, I'd be pissed off if you woke me up to ask me to turn over just because you don't like to sleep facing people

^this. Why should he lose sleep because you want to change sides and don’t want him facing you?

😂 because he was on my pillow back off I love my space! Look it’s still no excuse for him to still ignore me! This is still on going!!!!

Yeah I agree, normally your first impression would be, "oh well you did wake him up for that.. "
But look at the carry on afterwards. So childish. And what kind of way is that to treat the person you love? Do you think he's doing it on purpose so you'll just snap and break it off...? Just something that came in to my head there.

I’ve been thinking of it all. But genuinely he’s the one who’s organised the wedding he’s very transparent well so I thought he’s always been a bit more into this than I have although I’m madly in love with him I’m not putting up with this!

He puts you on a pedestal? I know this isn't what you posted about but what do you mean by this? This coupled with the stonewalling you and the gaslighting elenent of his 'jokes' sounds like he enjoys keeping you on the back foot and would be red flags for me.

There are three issues here:

1)He jokes about things that arent funny and doesn’t appreciate its not big it’s not clever and nobody’s laughing. He needs to be more sensitive and know when to call it a day with the joking. He’s not a kid. Do you really want someone that’s like that even when you ask him to stop?

2. The fact you had toothache and werent yourself would prob have disturbed his sleep and while it’s not your fault and he should have sympathy, a broken sleep probably made him crabbit.

3. You don’t like being face to face so HE had to move? WTF I’d have killed you for waking me up. After you’d already been tossing and turning and annoying. Buy a bigger bed.

You're madly in love with him????

In God's name why? Everything you've said about him screams utter bastard who likes to manipulate your emotions. He's even planning your wedding.

The hills are that way ------>>

There was, or is, a series of threads about confronting a sulking husband, which you might want to seek out.

If you’re not putting up with it then you need to end it. He won’t magically stop behaving like an arsehole.

This is ridiculous sulking over a tiny annoyance.

Any sulking is bad tbh. You have not got a good partner.

OP, he just reads as such an asshole.

My concern is your child.

He drives you mad with his silence and stonewalling.

Please think of your child and the miserable home you plan on imposing on her.

He's a twat.
He doesn't have to be your childs twat of a stepfather.

Were you really going to text to apologise again?

Rule of life: if you do wrong then apologise once sincerely then leave them alone to choose when to be friendly again.

You see the offended party does not have to forgive you on demand. If they want to lick their wounds fine. Don't try to force another person to forgive you to your schedule by apologising repeatedly.

That said, he is over reacting. One proper apology then leave him alone is still the right response. I expect he gets off on putting you in your place.

Funny how all the poor troubled insecure men get a free pass to be dickheads while the poor troubled insecure women have to be doormats that the dickhead wipes his feet on.

As for this But he’s not had much relationships and I think he can’t pick and choose his battles That's quite spectacular avoiding the truth. Were you a moron in your first relationship? Does he not have any other relationships like friends, colleagues, family, where he would have learned basic human interaction skills.

I bet he is insecure. I bet it is why he's a dick to you. That does not mean you have to allow it!

Be angry. He wants to marry you and he blows up over nonsense like this? He must think you a total doormat.

Girls I get how what I’ve written sounds but that was how i was feeling at the time of writing this.

He does joke a lot and does cross the line but god does he know it as I put him in his place. He doesn’t start pretend arguments or anything like that. So I hope it didn’t read like that.

He’s not a sulker he’s the one out of us both who’s always happy and easy going I’ve just not put that across when describing how I was feeling as I was in a rage. It’s really hard for me to put in words who he is. But I guess I’ve got to be prepared for your comments as after all I’ve been on here to rant!

He is the organised one where else I’m Scatty and fly by the seat of my pants. He cooks, I don’t he does the ironing I do the bathrooms and hoover.

We work, so this was out of the blue hence the reason I took it so hard. He called last night and I gave him hell I explained that I was not apologising again for keeping him up and how he had reacted today was immature.

He said he was driving all day and was furious because he hasn’t slept well for days and me waking him was the straw that broke the camels back. He’s been working non stop and I got the brunt of it all.

He apologised and was upset that he had made me feel awful all day.

I want to say thank you for your comments!

I will marry him and we are not separating 😂 we are too invested in this for a bed argument to make this end. I suppose I’ve painted him to look like the boogie man but I’ve been mad and very biased.

Glad it's all sorted :)

IMO you didn't necessarily paint him as this "bad man". As I've said in an earlier post, I don't know the real dynamics of your relationship (from both sides) & get that this is a just snippet & that you needed to vent. I'm glad he apologised for upsetting you and explained himself👌🏻.

You seem to be in a better place today which is great. Hope you have a lovely weekend now that it's sorted.

Thanks girls! He’s not back until tomorrow but I just feel better.

I’m glad that I have this place to come and rant if and when required 🙈 xx

Oh dear God woman! There’s a pattern of poor behaviour here that you keep choosing to treat as isolated incidents.

Rant away but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s choosing to act this way. Do you really think that his emotional stunted behaviour is going to get better? It isn’t but given his current behaviour, it is escalating.

It’s not escalating. I don’t put up with shit trust me. There’s no pattern I’ve never had to come on here and have a moan before, I’m trying to describe what his joking personality is like but it backfires i guess when I come here to vent. It’s like when all people hear is bad things from you then that’s all they have to go on.

Honest I’m not blind to controlling/manipulative behaviour he’s not that he’s just made a dick move.

Not girls here.
If the man you’re engaged to acts like a dick then don’t marry him FFS. If the relationship makes you want to rant before you tie the knot it’s never going to end well.

Interested to know if he teases the dc as much as he teases you?
Sounds like an irritating teenager tbh..

@Whynosnowyet I bet he calls it “banter” too.