Did we have sex too soon?

[Blandanddull]

I guess only I can know, but I’ve been dating someone a couple of months and last Friday we had sex. I had told myself we wouldn’t do this for a while but I fancy him and like him a lot and my therapist and me have identified that I hold back in relationships and it stops them progressing. Neither the therapist or he has tried to encourage me to do this, it was my decision and I thought it was in the spirt of moving the relationship forward.

I’m now feeling a bit shit. Should I have waited longer? I wonder if it was good? I don’t know if it would have made it more special to wait but I’m not a spring chicken anymore and I wanted it to have a chance to develop rather than wait longer and find that actually it isn’t going anywhere.

Did I do the right thing? Should I have waited? I’m confused.

Just text him, but some thing casual a general how's your day been etc? Being a man he's probably not realised how'd you'd be feeling. Been there myself amd got myself so stressed when I didn't need to. He may reply about a busy day at work or something. You'll soon know from the response but he may also be feeling like you. He said he wanted to see you at the weekend when you left right?

Maybe he’s feeling exactly the same as you.
Just text him

Well turns out he text me nearly two hours ago and I had my WhatsApp on no notifications...

He’s made a joke about the being in contact, asked how my day was and said he enjoyed the weekend.

Why don’t I trust him!

Because you’re a bloody idiot

Haha, well good news is that you have unwittingly been playing it super cool and laid back :)

Can you imagine how that poor fucker felt waiting 2 hours for a reply. God the poor chap!
Now stop trying to second guess everything! Talk about it with your therapist and enjoy

Glad he’s been in touch. I hope you’re feeling better now.

Try to enjoy yourself :-)

The thing is I don’t think he’s be bothered if I didn’t reply until Friday! He is super chilled and I’m clearly not.

I also met my boyfriend 2 months ago. We had sex within a few days of us meeting. It was amazing, unifying, bonding, and we’ve messaged constantly and seen eachother every available spare moment since then. We’ve been very much a couple since then and are head over heels (partly due to the amazing sex).

I genuinely can’t imagine not having sex with someone I liked for two months. How do you know if it’s worth pursuing if you don’t know if you click sexually?

Also - blandanddull? Behave!

Great new op, I'm so pleased to hear that. Try and relax now, but remember to keep putting yourself first and keep your bar for what you will/won't accept nice and high!

Don't worry about it too much. As long as it was consentual and you enjoyed it then you can't really tell how it will affect things. I slept with someone two weeks in because we decided it was a FWB thing. Ten years later and Im still married to the amazing bugger.

He sounds nice. He's listened and acted upon the communication thing and has got in touch the day after. I don't think you need to worry right now about this one

You waited that long? Why?

I’d like to introduce you to my sister. She met her now husband at a friend’s wedding. It was in an hotel and they were in the sack together within a couple of hours of meeting. They have been narried years and very happy.

The right time to have sex is what feels right for you.

Couple of months ? I didn't manage a couple of weeks! There's no right or wrong, it's what is right for you.

It's also normal to be a little unsure at the beginning. I was worried that I was jumping into something really heavy too soon, I also was concerned that the feelings weren't reciprocated but all is good, away on holiday and moving in when I sort out my life enough to do so