Help: Ex husband abusive and new husband awful

[ralphchats1]

I’m in a very difficult situation and looking for advice.

I am currently in family court against my ex husband who was abusive. I stupidly started a new relationship too soon and I remarried in September of last year. My new husband is lazy selfish and contributes nothing financially. He also seems to dislike my son. He refuses to help me parent. My son must have picked up on this and my ex husband saw a gap and pounced in through a steady campaign Of manipulation last January. Fast forward 6 months and my son decides he wants to live at abusive dads. This gives my ex husband the push he needs to start a custody case against me to then take my daughter who is happy and settled. New husband gets lazier and worse taking everything for granted. I become very unhappy. I still am.

I want him to leave but I’m terrified how this will look in family court. My ex has hurt my daughter and we now have cafcass involved. It’s been going on 9 months In court and it’s ruining my life, it’s seemingly endless and I’m unrepresented. But I also realise that my husband is not the man I can be with as I blame him for my son going And he’s not a stepdad. Nowhere near as much as I blame myself.

I am working part time to supplement the income paid by ex as part of settlement while new husband sits on his arse all day. I feel like screaming but I also think I will lose my daughter in case asking him to go means I’m unstable. Help! I seem to have made a terrible mistake!

Sorry to heat of your accident OP.. onward and upwards lady

It sounds as if you are moving forwards. It will take time to heal and think of your sadness of new husband as similar to giving up smoking,it's a habit and a crotch but it was bad for you. Some days you will crave affection and what you had in the beginning but know it was only a mask and not real.

Some people rush relationships because the want to ease the pain of grieving but grief has to be worked through. The high of a new relationship only masks the emotions so when the honey moon phase ends the emotions are still there. It will hurt but everyone gets through it and on a couple of years you will see a major difference in your confidence from being single.

Is court postponed?

I'm really glad you got rid of that guy and hope you all recover well from the accident.

However, you said that your ex was abusive and now he's being nice. Just be very, very careful. People don't change just like that.

However, you said that your ex was abusive and now he's being nice. Just be very, very careful. People don't change just like that.

This - please do be careful.

Your poor daughter must be very confused that he hurt her but is now being spoken of as a bit of a changed man?

Married a man like this after my divorce from my first husband. Dumped his arse after one month. Don’t understand why it’s any agency business who you or who your not with. Kick him out file for divorce later and just tell them he’s gone on holiday whatever. That is the children’s money your using on that waste of space. Get rid or you’ll end up in financial ruin and your ex will get them anyway as you’ll be homeless

Maybe just stop getting married/having relationships?

Wow, that’s harsh @izzywizzygood.

Hope you’re ok after your accident OP and there’s an improvement from ex but please be wary.

Keep fighting to get your son back and congratulations on ending your second relationship, nobody can judge till they’ve walked in your shoes.