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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I don’t know what to do

28 replies

Panicstations86 · 09/02/2020 00:25

We have both been drinking

He is extremely drunk and I found messages to another girl on his phone. I confronted him about it and he lost it with me we started arguing and he told me if I didn’t shut up he’d kick me in the mouth to make me. I said he wouldn’t dare and then he grabbed me and choked me for about ten seconds

We have two babies he’s a police man I don’t know what I can do

OP posts:
coffee43 · 09/02/2020 00:29

So sorry you're going through this OP. Is there anywhere else you can stay tonight? Anyone you can call?

ButtonMooney · 09/02/2020 00:29

My advice, get out, get safe, call the police

LovingLola · 09/02/2020 00:31

Call the police

Original poster
Panicstations86 · 09/02/2020 00:31

I’m too embarrassed to go anywhere

OP posts:
Cherry111 · 09/02/2020 00:33

You need to tell someone, a friend or family member. Do you have a close friend you can text?

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 09/02/2020 00:33

How embarrassing would it be to end up dead? Would he try to say that you were having consensual rough sex?

smashstore · 09/02/2020 00:34

I’m too embarrassed to go anywhere

That's what he is banking on.

You have NOTHING to be embarrassed about.

LovingLola · 09/02/2020 00:34

You have a12 week old baby and the father of that baby has choked you. Ditch the embarrassment and get him out

Cherry111 · 09/02/2020 00:36

@lovinglola how do you know she has a 12 week old baby?

LovingLola · 09/02/2020 00:39

@Cherry111
I read her thread last week

Cherry111 · 09/02/2020 00:41

Ah ok I'm sorry, apologies. OP are you ok?

user1471453601 · 09/02/2020 00:42

And yet op says "we have been drinking" . Present tense which indicates the incident has happened very recently, not last week

Krazynights34 · 09/02/2020 00:57

Op- he is incredibly drunk with a 12 week old, you’ve been drinking a lot baby and he’s a police officer?
Really?
I hate to sound like the twat in the house but - if you fear for yourself and/ or the children, you call the police.

Krazynights34 · 09/02/2020 00:59

Ignore the baby in that last message.
Are the children safe?

notthisshitagain · 09/02/2020 01:05

@user1471453601 who said it happened last week?

Original poster
Panicstations86 · 09/02/2020 01:12

Children aren’t here just us two he’s sleeping now

OP posts:
Original poster
Panicstations86 · 09/02/2020 01:12

I can’t stop shaking

OP posts:
WellItsNotAFerrari · 09/02/2020 01:15

OP please get out of the house and go to your parents, a friend, a sibling. Once you're safe call the police. Flowers

Cherry111 · 09/02/2020 01:15

Just try and take deep breaths, drink some water since you've been drinking. Do you not want to call anyone close to you?

notthisshitagain · 09/02/2020 01:16

Then now is the time to leave or call the police.

Where are the kids? Go there.

12345kbm · 09/02/2020 01:18

OP dial 999 and tell the police.

While you wait for them have a hot tea with sugar (at least two spoons) it's good for shock.

There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

Contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247 they can give you further guidance. They are available 24 hours.

Thelnebriati · 09/02/2020 01:25

Please get help straight away, choking is a high risk behaviour. Its not something you can afford to dismiss or minimise.

mrbob · 09/02/2020 01:27

Choking and strangling during domestic violence increases the future risk of murder by that person multiple times. You being alive to look after your children is more important than being a bit embarrassed. Call the police now

Jane1978xx · 09/02/2020 06:39

What happened did you get out ?

LouisaJenny · 09/02/2020 09:33

OP how are you this morning?