Dating site recommendations?

[Daet]

I’m sort of dipping a toe in at my advanced age! I’m 55 and the only site I’ve tried so far is Match. It’s probably a reflection of my age but I’ve found it dire - so depressing! Does anyone have any suggestions or am I destined to die lonely?! Thank you,

Good woman, don’t that prick put you off! Honestly who do they think they are!

Morning Daet, how is the dating going? 🌹

I think dating apps are hard at the best of times . As you get older and all your friends are in relationships, jumping on your phone to join a dating site seems like a natural thing to do .
The problem is that a not insignificant number of the people on these sites ( men and women) are already in relationships . Then there are those who don’t want to chat but swipe right just to see who swipes on them ,so in other words a confidence booster . These are so many women for these guys to look through they are like magpies , always looking for the next shinier thing . For some it’s very successful and I know someone who meet a guy and things are going fantastic . You have to develop a bit of a thick skin in the world of OLD , but if you just take it as a bit of fun and don’t get too invested too early you can have some fun , and who knows what may come of it .
Good luck !!

My partner and I met on match, and so did my best friend and her husband. I only had messages from a couple of weirdos. OLD really worked for us as I'm terrible at meeting new people!

It’s heartening to hear all these success stories but also makes me wonder where I’m going wrong! Everything has more or less dried up on Match now so I think I’ll take my profile down. There have been a couple of men who actually looked very nice but of course they didn’t match back! One man took umbrage because I didn’t avail myself of his WA number within a day of him handing it out! I have one on going convo with a man who seems very nice but I’m not sure. Hopefully will see him for a coffee soon.

Bumble is busy! Plenty of people professing interest, however by the time I’ve weeded out the ones I’m not interested in, the ones who live too far away (that aspect of Bumble frustrates me hugely!), the ones who are too young or too old, there aren’t many left! Then I’ll start a conversation and, as I said before, get one word replies. Or replies that are all about them and show no reciprocal interest. I wondered why they bothered but Dontletitbeyou perhaps has the answer, and it’s an ego boost for them.

Started talking to one man on Sunday night, and thought it was going really well. But it was plain by last night he wasn’t really bothered. Started talking to another man last night who does still seem interested - but I’m learning not to be too hopeful!

How are you all doing? redland what is your secret of converting chats to dates?! ojojoj1 I’m sorry about your encounter with the arse!

Ooh sorry - that was looong!

I have an update . After pervy ridiculous messages in Sunday I’m going for a dare tomorrow with an artist .

*date I need glasses

Ooh good news ojoj1. Hope it goes well, let us know.

Now last night’s keen guy seems to have lost interest! I feel like giving up! Obviously going wrong somewhere but don’t know where.

Date you are not going wrong . It’s them not you always

Hey there! Gunna be honest! They revert to dates because of sex! I’m not looking for a relationship at this moment. Nothing from Match.com. All my fun is from Bumble! Younger guys, woohoo! I’m having a blast! Just saying. Ojojoj1 is right it’s not you! Keep going!

It’s a numbers game. Yes there are a lot of time wasters, gas lighters etc but there are some genuine ones too. I used Tinder as that seems to have the biggest pool in my area, didn’t pay so didn’t see my matches, just swiped on who I liked.
Had about 20 dates in a year and met some really lovely genuine guys, just not for me. Finally me met one who I clicked with so please just hang in there....
Definitely don’t message for ages, swap numbers and get a date in asap as it’s easy to get hooked on messages then when you meet there’s just no spark

Thank you for further messages. Hope ojoj1’s and redland’s dates are going well.

I’m really perplexed by a man I started chatting to on Monday night. The banter was great, he gave me his number so Tues we were WhatsApping but I got the impression from shorter and shorter replies, that he was cooling off. So I didn’t answer his last message last night - it didn’t need an answer. Feeling magnanimous this morning, I just messaged “Morning”, and got a fairly enthusiastic reply. I replied - and he was back to offish, short responses. I don’t understand! I’m leaving it now and I’m not upset, just perplexed!

In better news, lots of interest still on Bumble and have matched with a very handsome 34 year old! I don’t think I can follow your lead redland but the chat is fun! Nothing really going anywhere though.

Daet can I please give you a recommendation of book to read ? It will rrewire your brain . It’s called Chimp Paradox

😂😂Daet! Go for it! I know what you mean, it is fun messaging? Why do they blow hot and cold?

BTW, I’ve unsubscribed from Match today! If one more guy over 70 sends a message I’ll scream!! 70!! Yes 70! How’s it going guys?

Thanks for the recommendation ojoj1, will look it up. How did your date go?

A lot of people showing interest on Bumble still but, as before, not many suitable really. There was one really good looking man (helped that he was a fireman) so I messaged. He did reply - but only to say how much interest he’d had! Another man seems keen and quite nice but a fair distance away, and 11 years younger than me. I do quite like him though. One man asked for my number after chatting for a short time. I gave it to him on the proviso that we kept messaging for a short while longer (I hate the phone), and he promptly rang!

And finally - I have a date tomorrow and although he seems like a very nice man I’m not wildly excited!

Over to you folks!

I had to cancel the date I have caugh now so don’t want to be around . I am excited for your date though

Oh I’m sorry you had to cancel - hope you’re ok.

Date went pretty much as I expected it too :(. Loving genuine man who was very complimentary and very keen. But nothing there for me, just wasn’t feeling it :(.

Onwards

Just found this thread!!! I joined tinder two weeks ago after becoming newly single. We've separated but still live in the same house till it's sold!

I met one nice guy who was convinced we were going to be together and messaged constantly. Drove me nuts so binned him.

Second guy. We fancied each other, got along really well but he was 2 years post divorce and wanted someone who had been separated longer. Even though he knew my situation before we met.

Got a date tomorrow. I'm trying not to be hopeful but I do fancy him (if he looks like his photo!!!)

Oh TwoHoots you’re doing well! It’s frustrating when people don’t appear to read your profile isn’t it?! Good luck tomorrow and keep us posted.

I’m going to start another thread asking for advice about men who match you but who you think are too good looking for you (by “you”, I mean “me”!). Will you all come over and advise? :)

Daet the 2nd guy I met did give me dating tips and said people would be put off by my newly single statues!! He knew my position do why did he bother wasting my time by meeting

I'm A bit blase about tomorrow. I think my ego took a bit of a bashing so now his words are ringing in my head that no one will want me.

Ah Two that’s just one man’s opinion. Don’t let it affect you, he was interested enough to meet you despite knowing your position. Lots of people will want you - first guy did even if you didn’t want him!

I think blase is good - it takes the pressure off and allows you to be more yourself. That’s how I felt about my date this afternoon - didn’t have any of the nerves/ butterflies so, despite not feeling it, it was a relaxed pleasant encounter. Enjoy :).

I've had a really awful stressful date tonight there were red flags which I ignored and I'm really angry at myself. Constant messaging and telling me I'm his soul mate (I know, I know). We met and I wasn't feeling it so I told him. He started crying! and told me he won't connect with anyone else like me. I felt awful but ended it there, after one date I might add.

He's since been messaging me tonight with emotionally manipulative messages. Ive blocked him now but this has scared me off online dating for a while

mermaid that sounds like my first date too!!! It's quite scary but don't let it put you off.

I'm meeting my date this afternoon for coffee. He seems relatively normal. For now!!!