Been in a relationship for 5 years with DP, lived together for 4 years, no kids.
Two months into the relationship, he said he wants to go to a brothel. I said it's not ok with me, I thought we are in a relationship. He said I was being controlling and he went (told me he'd gone 3 days later). He said it didn't count as cheating because it was too early in the relationship (he hadn't yet told me he loved me).
In every disagreement, from the start of the relationship till now, he stonewalls me. He completely shuts down, won't communicate, pretends to be engrossed in something, if we are apart and I try calling him, he either rejects my call or a few times has even blocked my number. After a week he will return to normal as if nothing happened. Half the time this happens after an argument and half the time it seems to come out of nowhere, leaving me wondering what on earth's going on. I'm left completely in the dark. If I ask what's wrong, I get told to be quiet or i'll infuriate him.
He has also driven recklessly and gambled and said it was due to his anger towards me. I spend half my life walking on eggshells and desperately wondering what I've done wrong. I feel so distressed sometimes I think about leaving, but somehow I feel like, how can I leave him now if I didn't leave him in the past after the very worst of his behavior? All of which I've technically forgiven him for.
He thinks that all this is normal ups and downs of a relationship and he is just being a human. He thinks cause he's not beating me up and shouting and screaming, it's not at all bad behavior on his part.
I feel so distressed, and at the same time, I constantly second guess myself and feel like I'm overreacting.
Thoughts please.