What made you lose all respect for your DH/DP?

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I a lot of respect for my DH when I learned that he couldn't budget our finances. He told me he was taking care of everything and that we could afford things we actually couldn't.
He denies to this day that he has issues with budgeting and yet still ignores our finances claiming we have more money than we do.
Its safe to say that I do most of the budgeting now, but even with a small area to over-see like "cars" he still fucks up and forgets to budget for car tax!
It has really made me lose a lot of respect for him and I struggle to see him as the intelligent man I thought he was.

Wondering what other things people has lost respect for their spouses over?

I m the same as you - he just couldn’t manage our joint finances or his own. He was in shit loads of debt and kept it all hidden. Luckily I am good with money and have always worked - dumped him and now getting on with my life! There were other reasons to end it but that was the main reason I lost all respect.

I'm not sure I did. He just killed the love nail by nail. I'm still scared of him which gives a certain respect I suppose.

Several thousands of pounds of debt on "porn" websites claiming it was just some videos and not being man enough to tell me what he was really buying on there. Cocaine use. Being so fucking lazy that his bedroom was deemed a safeguarding issue by the police. He was also shit with budgeting and finances.

Lazy cocklodger. Kept saying he was,going to bring in some money and never did, left me to shoulder all the finances, but had to buy 'treats ' as soon as he had a bit of cash. Lots of debts . Now he's gone, he doesn't pay a penny child maintenance for our DD.

Another debt hiding stbexh here too. Luckily, I took over handling all the finances as he is apparently terrible with money and spotted it. When confronted he lied and denied everything even though I had it in black and white.
He is also a lazy father, even more so now we are seperated. Ick.

Yup
Years ago he always handled the finances - mortgage, debts, etc
Until I paid off all of my credit cards and tried to get him to own up to his
Then found out he had over 7 credit cards and 2 loans and even paid for food shopping with credit cards! Our mortgage was with Northern Rock!
He was just paying the minimum on cards so would be in debt forever
He has only just started to contribute to DD - who is 22 this week
I paid for it all and still do
I'm retired

Porn use. Changed my rose tinted view forever

Lack of hygiene

Another lazy father here.

Sitting and hammering out a list for me of what he was prepared and not prepared to do domestically e.g. “‘I will do
Laundry only related to child “etc etc, when our son was about 6 months old and I did everything at home and had been washing And putting away his things for 5 years.

He reduced his hours to care for our DC whilst I worked FT because I had a higher earning potential.

Where to start!!
He sleeping with someone else then putting me through hell as he will not move out 🤷‍♀️Prick

His complete inability to think flexibly and adapt to change. Not a problem when DDs were little, cute and compliant. Huge problem when they started growing up and having opinions that didn't match his. His rallying cry was always 'When I was growing up we would never have dared to [fill in whatever he was fucked off about here]'

He really believed the way he was brought up was the only right way to bring up a child. His mantra was always 'well, I turned out alright'. This from a fucked up alcoholic. Meanwhile my experiences of being raised completely differently and actually turning out a functioning adult without addictions was just dismissed.

It didn't end well.

@Startedoutasfriends I don't understand why that would be a problem. If one parent has to reduce their hours to look after the child (ren), doesn't it make sense for it to be the one whose earning potential is lower?

Another with a debt hiding ex! Used to call me all the C and B words under the sun for spending a fiver on new trainers for one of the kids whilst spending twice that on cigarettes every day. I was scrapping pennies to feed the 4 of us but he never went without his fags or booze!

Final straw was him telling his family how he was going to spend my inheritance. My father wasn't even dead yet! Any feelings I may have had for him by then had totally vanished after that. When my father pulled through a bad bout exh actually sulked as he wasn't going to get the money as soon as he hoped!

I made sure I left him ASAP and my father passed away 2 days after the divorce and clean break order was finalised, meaning he never saw a penny of that money!

It was when I was much younger and still married, and had 2 young children. Husband changed career and began a job which required an accountant to work out all the tax advantages which could be claimed/offset.
I did EVERYTHING in the home. Account said husband could claim £3 (!) per week for domestic cleaning/housekeeping on the accounts. So every week I got 3 x £1 coins carefully laid out for me....
Made me feel like shit, and yes, I lost all respect. He couldn't understand why I found it degrading....

• When he lied about giving up smoking when DC was born - to me, to himself, to the Health Visitor
• His abuse of alcohol
• His inability to save money
• His martyrdom for doing household chores
• That all DC hears is "I'm tired" when asked to play, or if he does play, he's "tired" after 5 minutes and has to go for a cig
• His complete lack of ANY, even basic, DIY skills. When we were decorating our new house, any slapdash job was "that'll do".
• When he says he'll do something (change a lightbulb etc) and then doesn't

I read one marriage guidance councillor say they knew a relationship was over when one party had contempt for the other.

Reading this thread and realised my reasons were porn (kids saw him looking at ) said he didn't need a pension as my inheritance was his pension leaving skid marks on the bed sheet and saying it wasn't a problem!

The first time he hit me.

Oh boy, I came here to add mine but reading through I’m realising that maybe he’s not so bad!
Refusing to see anyone about his obvious deafness. Starting a sentence and then finishing it with a complete contradiction. Being so slow at doing anything.
All the finances are left to me - he’s rubbish

When he attacked me when I was holding our newborn baby. He did everything he could do to try and change but I could never respect him after that

When I finally realised he was doing things to upset me... on purpose.

Mine has just said to me that he didn't realise I was on the pill (no idea how as I told him I was going on it and have been taking it for almost a year!) and he was just crossing his fingers and hoping we wouldn't get pregnant. Cannot believe , he doesn't want another baby but was quite happy to have a regular sex life thinking that we're not using contraception...

Someone gave us a small table and he insisted if it didn't go where he wanted it, he was moving out.

And he meant it.