What made you lose all respect for your DH/DP?

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I a lot of respect for my DH when I learned that he couldn't budget our finances. He told me he was taking care of everything and that we could afford things we actually couldn't.
He denies to this day that he has issues with budgeting and yet still ignores our finances claiming we have more money than we do.
Its safe to say that I do most of the budgeting now, but even with a small area to over-see like "cars" he still fucks up and forgets to budget for car tax!
It has really made me lose a lot of respect for him and I struggle to see him as the intelligent man I thought he was.

When he started talking to me like his employee.

I haven't lost respect for mine but have often felt disrespected. But it's in a subtle, and I think not malevolent or conscious, way. Not that it makes it ok. Things like talking over/interupting me constantly, making household financial decisions without me, acting as if his time/task/whatever, is just much more important than anything I could be doing... That kind of thing has left me feel that I'm not respected. I suppose the feeling that I'm not respected has made me feel less respect for him, but I'm not sure.

@TidaQuel with mine it's not so much the deafness, it's having respect for me, and others, to seek treatment for it.

It's not one instance but his complete inability to read a map which results in every car journey turning into a farce with even DC now saying as we get in the car as a family, "are we lost? Is this the right way". He resorts to using a GPS and a typical conversation goes like:

Him: "turn right into Grey Street"
Me: "I've never been to this town before, how many roads along?"
Him: "Emmmm. This one"
Me: "This one? A little more notice would have been helpful"
Him: Errr. Not this one. You need to do a u-turn.
Me: I can't. It's a one way street. Which way at the end?"
Him: Errr. It's just re-calculating...
Me: I need to know (sitting at t-junction and end of said road).
Car beeps behind us.
DC: "Are we lost?"

Being emotionally and physically abusive and actually believing he is justified in his behaviour.
He absolutely believes I make him behave the way he does.
He gets very upset when I tell him I don't trust him because he's abusive and will never change.
I don't think you can change away from something you don't see as wrong.
Counting the days until I'm away from him to never look back

When I realised he put himself and how others view him before his family. This to the extent that he wouldn't stick up for us in any situation and has a yellow streak running down his back.

Being too perfect and precise in everything he does. He does all the housework but to total excess and spends hours making the house pristine. He has a spreadsheet for all monies coming in and out and will not ever spend out on anything. He has never had a credit card and has never ever been in debt!!!! He takes care so much doing everything he rarely makes mistakes ie he rarely spills a drink because he will hold it with 2 hands, he has never ever bought the wrong thing in error because he will spend 3 days reading every single review of every single product before he buys anything to check it is exactly what he needs. Basically just wish he would be normal and make mistakes and live a little and spend money!!!

When I realised that I wasn’t a screaming banshee rather that he was passive aggressive oh and also the big massive whopper of a lie that I can’t say as it would out me in RL. Cunt. Separated 3 blissful years me and my dc are a tight wee team.

When he promised to take the children to the cinema, then decide to take eldest to a movie that started before the one the 5 year old wanted to watch.
We waited 30 mins for them to come out, they went to the pub and he told me to go home.
I hated him for how he made our child cry.

When I realised he would choose me doing massively long hours to bring in enough to live on despite the obvious distress of our young DC, over sorting his own issues and becoming employable. Compounded by preferring to 'forget' to seek counselling and living without sex for 2+ years, over opening our lines of communication and restoring intimacy. I realise he's got his own demons and isn't happy, but it's hard to respect someone you pity.

@Needtogetbackinthesack that sounds completely awful

This isn't about my partner. When my parents divorced we discovered my dad had been emotionally and finally abusing my mum leading her to go bankrupt- all respect lost then.

Another case of being too lazy to handle the finances despite having a good understanding of finances, he just couldn't be bothered - he was also her full time carer

His constant benders every weekend and empty promises to change. No thanks!

When I discovered he'd been with prostitutes for years beginning with when I was pregnant. And that he'd lied to me repeatedly about other things. It didn't tally in any way with what I knew about him from a relationship lasting more than two decades. Needless to say, it was game over.

Slagging me off and lieing to his bloody mother about me.

No respect for him at all.

When my mum told me he had sent her a registered letter looking for his share of the inheritance left to my mother by my granny! And he then sent me an email showing how much my Granny's house had sold for and said that as my mother was the Executor she should give him the money! And the fecker hasn't paid a cent in child maintenance in years either.

It's the three D's:

Deceit, dishonesty, denial.

Nothing makes respect go out of the window faster.

Mine is complicated..

1. I lost respect for DH when he drunkenly admitted that he had never told me the full picture about the breakdown of his first marriage. There had been an OW involved which he had denied previously. ( He said he lied when we met as he thought I wouldn't have given him a chance.)

1. I lost more respect when I discovered that ,just after we had started dating, he had been sending Valentine's Day flowers to the same (married) OW from his first marriage.

1. I lost yet more respect when I discovered this OWs 'phone number in his 'phone - under a false male name. He had told me they had now lost touch.

The OW now lives in Australia with her husband so her relationship with DH isn't the same as it was during his first marriage. But DHs complete secrecy about this - almost tricking me into our relationship has done so much damage. My respect and trust for him is below zero.

1. The use of money as a finanical control.
2. Revolting table manners.
3. Asking constantly for me to make cups of coffee but v rarely reciprocating ... I do it as otherwise we have an argument about how we live in this house because of him earning so much etc etc.
4. Saying will tip waiters etc to bribe a better service then never doing it.
5. Being v untidy and making a mess and not clearing up.
6. Inability to hold his drink without becoming verbally aggressive.
7. Knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.
8. Sexist, racist, anti environmental
9. Liking for purile, dated comedies like "On the Buses"

10. Is that enough?

The major thing was him moving jobs and not being able to cope with the stress and his new colleagues. It led to him eventually leaving and then lots of interviews and failing to get a permanent job.
The above linked to him not having confidence and ambition, not ever going for promotions and therefore being too old and expensive to be considered the best choice for the jobs he was applying for.
Not being bothered that he wasn't providing equally for the family and it was being done by me.
Not being bothered to see me working so hard while most of our friends were concerned about me.
Insisting on the need to have expensive holidays while he couldn't actually pay for it. Having no engagement with financial security or the family finances.
Ongoing total personal disorganisation.
I've lost my respect. I can't fancy someone I can't admire.

Our teenage son was chubby and very unhappy when he was about 9/10 but is now a tall , slim good looking young man. DP still insists on showing people pictures of DS when he was fat . He says it's to show how far he has come but I think he is jealous of his own son. We are separating due to his moods and drinking but he told DS our separation is his fault as I spoil him because I had him later in life . DS has his moments but is a normal teenage lad !

When I realised he was really a useless cocklodger who had sponged off me for 20 years. When he finally started earning the big money he just left as he didn't want to share it with me leaving all of his debt behind and never bothered to ask after his DSS, our pets or me just swanned off after years of fucking up my finances.
He dumped me just before I had to go into hospital leaving me right in the shit with no transport.

After years of TTC, being told we'd never achieve a pregnancy on our own (poor sperm) and fertility treatments I found myself pregnant naturally. We had a beautiful DD and all was well. I didn't go back on contraception as we considered the pregnancy a fluke. Lo and behold, two years later I was pregnant again. He couldn't cope with the news and told me he didn't think he could love another child as much as DD. He asked me to terminate. I didn't and he hated me for it. DD1 was his golden child and DD2 was the one he blamed for everything.

My username was thought up with him in mind!

Oh, and him persuading me to put my engagement ring on my credit card and he would pay me back. He didn't. I was young and naive and should have left him then.

When I discovered he was keeping the extent of my 16 years old DS's drug use a secret from me; and on the way to the couple's counselling we were having I discovered the porn mag in his briefcase.

Life is so much better now he's no longer around.