Hi,
I left my husband a year ago and he hasn't worked for a year since I left. He is still living in our marital rental home (4 bedroom property) whilst I've had to move myself and our son to a 2 bedroom property.
We agreed a certain figure for child maintenance per month and he's stopped paying the last few months because he 'doesn't have the money'. Yet, he had the money to buy me a £40 bottle of champagne for Christmas.
We have a property in his name which I have put marital register rights on. The house was sold in October and its still going through (as of yet he hasn't told me that he knows I have registered rights on it).
Anyway, he hasn't paid maintenance the last 3 months, yet living in a more expensive property than myself and his son. He picks our son up from school 4 days a week and has him for a couple of hours each day as I work full time. He's done this since my LO was at pre-school.
How he is saying that he will have to work days (previously worked nights) and he will go halves with me on after school club.
I earn half of what my husband used to (no idea what salary he is on now). I don't think this is fair or right to have the pressure all on me.
Called the CSA and they have said nothing they can do as he is self employed and hasn't declared his earnings, so I've no idea if he's been lying or not and actually been working.
I'm constantly stressed due to money and the burden it puts on me as I am supporting myself pretty much by myself (Yes, he gives him snacks after school etc so I guess thats a cost).
In addition, every time I ask him about maintenance (I've stopped asking now) he told me to stop harassing him and to ask my parents for money to support our son!
I literally am disgusted.
He is ignoring the divorce petition and has done for a year and a half now and I just want him to stop controlling me with finances as this is the last thing he can do to me.
Not sure what support I am asking for here, just anyone been in similar experience and how did you manage it?
My ex is very manipulative and I just feel like he's using psychological tricks on me (being very nice to me, yet not paying for our son, expensive Christmas gifts etc).
He said he will pay maintenance as 'soon as he haves it', but I just dont trust him.
The proceeds of the house he said I will get half but I just don't trust him. I never wanted to take more than what I am need for myself and my son but I feel hes taking the piss now and I should go for more on the house but I dont want a long battle in court.
On top of him still living in a four bed house, he recently bought a new Mercedes...
Emotionally, how does anyone deal with this situation? I'm trying to rise above it but all I can think is I don't deserve this. He was physically abusive ([part reason why I left) and very controlling and it's like he's trying to punish me by ensuring I have a harder life because I left him.
Any support would be gratefully appreciated as I am at the end of my tether with this situation. I just don't see a way out, unless he stops being who he is! Which won't be anytime soon as I was married to him for 10 years and together for 17 years.
Thank you for any support.