What do men want?

[Claire926]

I have no idea what is going on in the dating world now. I had a nosy to see what the competition is like on dating sites and am finding that obese women put themselves as average body type and I am quite slim but would say I am average body type so if a man was to do a search he might exclude 'average' body type in his search. Other women try to make out they have the perfect lives by travelling, going to festivals with their friends, body dysmorphia and snapchat filters on their pictures. I have deleted my dating profile because I feel that online daters are extremely shallow with the grass is greener syndrome. I would say I am slim but not athletic but have a pretty face.

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

I know looks are not everything and I am a kind person with a good heart but I feel pressured by looks. This shallow world is knocking my confidence. In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

There is no one answer to this. People have difference tastes in what they want in a partner.

I think you have a very weird perception of your own body, tbh. Some men like curvy women, some men like slim women. Some men genuinely arent bothered, and are more attracted to a pretty face and a witty profile. Why are you so obsessed with what other women put in their profiles?

I’m a chub of size 16 never go to the gym and have no issue with men excluding me that I would be aware of. If they don’t swipe then that’s fine, others do

I am not sure how to respond to your post really you seem to be quite shallow and judgmental about other women. I’ve never looked at other women’s online dating profiles and compared myself - I am me. No one else will have my looks or personality will they?

Just look at all the people out there, with various body types.

Many have partners... people have different tastes....so nobody can say what men want, as different men want different things in a woman.

Just like different women look for different things in a man. We don't all want the same thing...that's evident from the many threads on here.

I didn't mean to come across as offensive Menora. I am quite open to dating most men but I find online men seem to be just looking for hook ups. I only checked out the profiles to see if I was going wrong somewhere.

You can’t assume all men are looking for sex, many also want companionship and a relationship but they don’t always write it on their profile because it can make them look or feel vulnerable
Most people OLD are bumbling along trying to meet people like everyone else
A few I have come across have moved immediately to ‘let’s hook up’ but 99% of the dates I have had on there they have not tried to have sex with me until they are confident I would actually want them to

I'm no expert at online dating but I'd hope that rather than worrying about what you think men might want, you should focus on what you want.
Just because others like on their profiles doesn't mean you should.

I found a LOT of men when i was online dating. Yes, some were just looking for sex, but most of them really were looking for relationships. You sound a little bit like my friend, who is totally focused on physical appearance, and fails to rake personality into account, with the net result that she lurches from one attractive loser to another, complaining that "all men are only looking for sex". She never stops to reflect that maybe her shallow approach wont net her a deep man.

Men who like boobs will go for women with big boobs! Same for bums. I’ve seen men say they like a curvy woman and also say they like an athletic one. I’m not athletic so I am just not their type and they won’t approach me. I am not going to lose any sleep over it.

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea but you will be someone’s

I think thinking of ‘men’ as a homogenous group might be your primary issue!?

There is no one thing all men like, or all people for that matter - everyone likes different things, some (most of the decent ones) genuinely are drawn to kindness, honesty, positivity, fun..some might have a type & like skinny women or strong thighs or tall or short women, big smiles, crinkly eyes, big bottoms, small bottoms, curves, no curves...

If you look around at the happiest couples you know, the ones who love spending with each other & laugh a lot, who face hard times together & come out stronger - do you honestly think the man in that relationship is basing his love on whether she is slim/athletic or just slim!? Perhaps he just thinks she is sexy & gorgeous regardless because when they met they couldn’t stop taking & she made him laugh & the way she smiled made his stomach flip?

More importantly what do you want? Can you see the irony in your post about being shallow - yet it’s all about looks? Maybe time to change your perspective?

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

You're saying you hate that other people are shallow but this is a serious question you're asking people? Really?

You do realise men, just like women, have individual likes and dislikes?

I think you need to reassess your own attitude to what you actually value in other people because most of your post is either sneering at people (eg snapchat filter usage), categorising other women into pretty horrible categories (essentially pretty but chubby or thong but plain) or grouping all men together and treating them as all the same.

But weird to be honest.

Typo - that was meant to be thin not thong obviously

They lack confidence? Are you sure? How would you know their reasons?

What sort of men are you looking for too? Men who are above average - attractive, wealthy and/or exciting - will tend to naturally be pickier than more average men.

You sound terribly judgemental about other women OP, and incredibly shallow. There’s no one thing all men want because they’re individuals.

because most of your post is either sneering at people (eg snapchat filter usage)

To be fair, as a bloke, Snapchat filters really bug me too. The point of a profile is to give an insight into a person you might want to get to know. How is distorting your face into a cartoon squirrel going to help in any shape or form? I get some people might not be comfortable with their faces - but all this does is suggest, at a gut level, someone's trying to hoodwink you into thinking they look different to what they actually do.

Yeah I get the whole thing about filters. It annoys me too. But everything else is up to the individual

How is distorting your face into a cartoon squirrel going to help in any shape or form?
Thanks! That is going to keep me laughing all day.

Op, you seem to think men are an alien species all attracted to the same things. How old are you? You are so focused on looks and competition that it's really unhealthy.

Walk down any street and you'll see people of all shapes and sizes in couples. How do you think that happened?

There is no one answer to your question about bodies vs faces. Everyone is different but in real life I think it’s the whole person that counts. I do think you are analysing it too much.

In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

Maybe you need to ask them out?

@TossACoinToYerWitcher how else are they going to show that they’re cute, fun and want your nuts?

Your competition?

The entire posts just talks women down. Who are you to say an obese woman must label her body in a way you find attractive.

You seem far more concerned that men on dating sites may prefer to pick someone else, so are slagging off the women.

Some men want hook ups, some men want relationships, some men want a pretty face and slim. Some men prefer bigger women. Pretty isnt a standard. I think my partner is gorgeous. I am better plenty wouldnt. Just like he thinks I am 'sexy and stunning' but I think I am distinctly average.

So what if people use filters. You know they are using them. if you dont like it move on. Wether they find what they are looking for is not your business or concern.

You say online dating is shallow, but then you whole post is about how you stack up against other women and talking down their appearance or how they present.

If plenty if men are interested in real life, but dont ask you out and you want them to. Then you need to think about why. Because if all these interested men dont ask you out, then the issue is likely to be with you. If a man posted that women fancy him but dont ask him out then he would be told he is the issue. He is giving a vibe off that puts women off.

Let's get real here. There is zero competition for men. None!

I'll be a bit crass here but you have the key thing men want. You have a vagina.

Men really aren't picky at all. They can't be. Dick is high supply and low value.

You could see a different guy every day for the rest of your life and there would still be more ready to date you. Always!

Men can't say the same thing. Unless they are attractive, have money, or charm, most men complain on dating sites how hard it is to even talk to someone since the women have so many options.

So don't look at or worry about other women.
It doesn't matter at all.
Decide what you like and want and go for that.

Men can't say the same thing. Unless they are attractive, have money, or charm, most men complain on dating sites how hard it is to even talk to someone since the women have so many options

Exactly. That's why I find it so hard to understand when so women say how easy it is for men on OLD. I guess they must figure that since women have a lot of problems with OLD, that this must mean men must have an easy time of it on OLD. Most men don't.