Why I was outed

[Cachoo]

10 years ago, I was completely outed by a very large group of females at work. I went from being invited to all the social gatherings to none over night. It played havoc with my mental health for a long time.
I still have to see the large group of women through work even though I left that particular role 2 years ago. I have to liaise with them very briefly.
I am still friends with our then-manager and after recently catching up with her, I disvovered why I was outed. I guess I'm looking for a bit of perspective so I can lay it all to rest and move on.
So it turns out, that 10 years ago when I was with my then boyfriend, my phone accidentally called a member of the group... whilst we were having sex!! 😯
I vaguely remember her saying I'd called her accidentally at the weekend and I shrugged it off thinking nothing of it- I do remember though that we were away in a hotel that weekend and yes, there was lots of well... you know. So it is probably correct.
The lady in question hasn't actually made much eye contact with me since and has been very cold- an older, church abiding lady with a heart of gold. She must have told someone and well, the rumour spread. I wasn't invited to her surprise 60th birthday along with everyone else so it all makes sense now.
I'm a little mortified by it all, but... it seems a little drastic to be cut off by an entire group don't you think? My closest friend in the group who cut me off used to revel in telling me what the group had been up to- knowing I hadn't been invited.
All seems a little mean.
I still have to see the group briefly so it's a little awkward, I'm not sure what I can do really now but I would like to let go of this now.

Thank you for the support. I think it is true that people can be very strange. If they saw this written down, they would think themselves ridiculous. And also,I don't think there would have been a big decision "let's never talk to Cachoo again because she called Betty when having sex." I imagine there were a few words spoken about me and then an at atmosphere towards me filtered throughout the group. Also if "Betty" felt uncomfortable around me, they probably stopped inviting me to social events to save her embarrassment. I know one other member of the group didn't like me previous to this incident and always seemed very jealous when others were building friendships with me initially, so it probably just added fuel to her fire and vice versa.

@23Straycatstrut looking in the wrong place perhaps.. I wouldn't be friends with someone who had this generalised negative opinion of women.

My female friendship group are amazing people

My advice to people has always been to keep work and private lives as apart as possible without looking like a weirdo.

I have a work phone and a personal phone. I don't take the former away with me on any personal trips and I have no work contacts in my personal phone.

Ousted for a danger shag, bloody hell.

I'd just deny it 'oh that? Yeah I heard something about a mishap but I checked my phone at the time and nope, there was nothing on the phone log. Chief Weirdo must be confused, how odd'

I was ghosted because I accepted a date from someone that my colleague's sister fancied. (we were both single by the way) He didn't know sister existed let alone fancied him.

She barely spoken to me since despite us being friends outside of work. She met up with my partner via work and was all friendly and trying to insist they go for lunch to catch up. He declined, unsurprisingly.

Ah I see, so this other jealous woman maybe used what Betty told her so you could be ousted. And Betty was probably offended and jealous too anyway. It's shocking though that they all turned on you. If I'd been there I would not have turned on you, bet the others reading here wouldn't have either

I wouldn’t have turned on you either. I would have gently teased the one who listened - more so if they listened long enough to be outraged.

If that’s how they get their rocks off all power to their filthy minded minky

@Cachoo a similar thing haunted me for years. Sharing this horror story in the hope it makes you feel better!! So. My Mum knows this woman from the church and i know her to see. She disapproved of me because i left my children's father. I hadnt married him either. Her nieces are my age and i knew them. They are ok but perfect. Married rich men. Blonde. Etc. Anyway, here's tge bit that makes me cringe, about 10 yrs ago i was dating this man and he was a bit older than me. He was staid, well dressed in a very clean wholesome sort of m&s way. Kinda looked married. He was definitely divorced though. We went to a hotel and lo and horrible behold we saw that woman my mum knew from church playing bridge with a gang of bridge players. When she saw me she put down her cards and stood up to get a look. I should have styled it out and said "hi there!" but i was embarrassed. I looked down. Within about 72 hours both of her nieces had deleted me off facebook . Hardly because I had sex in a hotel. I know she assumed he was married and told everybody. Why on earth would her nieces both delete me later that week. Anyway, just had to learn to shrug it off. The woman is a cow. I dont care but she probably told mutual acquaintances of her and my mother that i was out there breaking up marriages. I could hardly bear to think of it for years. Could care LESS now.

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