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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My weight and name calling

57 replies

Isthisnormalorisitme · 27/01/2020 22:01

I've posted before. I've come close to leaving but didn't quite manage, I now have some support but just need someone to tell me how wrong this is.
So I am a little over my healthy weight, and would be much more comfortable half a stone lighter.
Partner is constantly on at me about it, asking if I have looked in the mirror at myself, don't I realise I am fat. He has been sending our son texts to tell him to get me fitter and to lose weight.

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 27/01/2020 22:10

That’s disgraceful and abusive. You are better off without someone like that, which you clearly realise. Good luck in your future life without him!

Isthisnormalorisitme · 27/01/2020 22:15

It's going to be tricky leaving. But I'm so worried about how our son will be to women later in life. He seems to be on his dad's side.

OP posts:
CardsforKittens · 27/01/2020 22:15

He’s an arsehole who doesn’t deserve you. I bet it’s not the only thing he’s mean about, am I right? His behaviour is unkind and it doesn’t achieve anything constructive.

Someone who loves you wouldn’t make you feel bad on purpose. And why would you stay in a relationship with someone who shows you regularly that he doesn’t love you?

Bluntness100 · 27/01/2020 22:15

That's appalling no matter how much weight you'd put on, but fuck me for half a stone?

Get out of these and take your son with you or kick him out (partner not son)

What an abusive weirdo.

PGtipsplease · 27/01/2020 22:18

Oh god I bet he is a right ugly twat himself! Have you told him to leave?

Isthisnormalorisitme · 27/01/2020 22:21

He is manipulating our son. Our son hit me at the weekend as he was cross with me about my weight.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/01/2020 22:22

Oh god I bet he is a right ugly twat himself

They always are.

Isthisnormalorisitme · 27/01/2020 22:22

He says he's sorry but......I need to lose weight to look better for dad
What a mess

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 27/01/2020 22:22

That is so unkind towards you- and bad for your son.
Whose house is it?

Bluntness100 · 27/01/2020 22:23

God you have to get out op. Why is it tricky?

Alexandernevermind · 27/01/2020 22:24

This is horrendous and abusive. How old is your son?

Bluntness100 · 27/01/2020 22:28

Op, your son is twelve and he hit you?

As he is also being abused by his father, he is doing it to make him happy,

If you can't get out for your sake, you need to get out for his.

Isthisnormalorisitme · 27/01/2020 22:30

Our son is 12. The house is in joint names
We will need to sell

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/01/2020 22:43

You can't put money over your child's welfare.

You need to get out.

looondonn · 27/01/2020 22:46

Jesus this has stopped me in my tracks

He is a real b-- tard

Run
Run
Run

Get a good lawyer ASAP

😡😡😡😡

Cherrysoup · 27/01/2020 22:55

I’m sorry he’s such a cunt, OP. I would suggest that you don’t leave the house, hard as it is. Please see a solicitor to get proper legal advice.

Grumpelstilskin · 28/01/2020 00:10

The only dead weight you need to lose is that fuckpig of a so-called partner. Not sure what to advise regarding your son.

CandyFlossSkies · 28/01/2020 01:46

He's 12 a d he hit you because of your weight??? So sorry for you. You need to speak to your GP and Women's Aid. At that age he should have absorbed enough from society to know that doing that is wrong. It's worrying that he doesn't. I thought he was about 2!! Makes me wonder what else you've had to put up with.

Onthemaintrunkline · 28/01/2020 03:37

Horribly horribly unkind, and to actively influence your son - words fail.
What a judgemental, critical creature he sounds. No one needs to accept this ridicule as ok.

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2020 06:20

At that age he should have absorbed enough from society to know that doing that is wrong

He will know it's wrong, but if he is also being abused, as per the ops other threads, then he is simply doing this to curry favour with his father, to remove another stress point from the house.

He's likely thinking if mum lost weight dad would be happier then he wouldn't get on at me and her all the time, and if I can help dad with this then he won't get on at me and he'll be pleased with me. And even if I can make this about mum it takes the focus off of me. He's expected to support his father in this.

Op does your husband hit you? Generally children learn violence and what's acceptable from growing up watching it.😔

pemberlyshades · 28/01/2020 06:56

Jesus Christ. I'd walk straight out with my son and not look back.

Isthisnormalorisitme · 28/01/2020 06:57
  • @bluntness* DS apologised, he knows it's not right. He is a lovely boy. In his mind if I lose weight/am more tidy/more affectionate to his dad, we will be happier. And he doesn't want us to split up I saw a solicitor, who has suggested I contact a child mediation solicitor about manipulation and alienation Sad
OP posts:
Gwilt160981 · 28/01/2020 07:06

Pack his bags and get rid of him.

Isthisnormalorisitme · 28/01/2020 08:57

No physical abuse from partner, just verbal. Which somehow makes it harder to see what is happening Sad

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 28/01/2020 09:09

If not for yourself please leave for your DS.
Can you see the damage that is currently being done to him?

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