Is a 15 year age gap too much?

[relationshiphelp]

Is an age gap of 15 years too much?

I'm 32, he's 47.

Definitely not. As long as it works for you.

I nearly married a man 12 years older than me in my late 20s. He was interesting, handsome, mature. I didn't.

I then met DH 30 years ago who mended my broken heart. DH is two years younger than me.

I bumped into old chap about 5/6 years ago and he seemed very very old and not even 70. I still work full time as does dh. I think itbwould drive me nuts to live with a retired old gimmer. I'm nearly 60.

I have 10 and it's not big enough because the younger teens plus toddler is crazy so I think 16 is far better!

I had a 21 age gap with an ex but he looks so old now but I think had I seen him daily I wouldnt have noticed if that makes sense?

age really is just a number!

No it really isn't ! On an issue such as this one then you need to think more carefully than this.

I think it depends entirely on the person. My dh is only six years older than me but the difference in maturity levels is huge.

I have 10 and it's not big enough because the younger teens plus toddler is crazy so I think 16 is far better!.

That doesnt make sense. Your issue is the age of the teens. He could be 16 years older but still have young teens

I have 10 and it's not big enough because the younger teens plus toddler is crazy so I think 16 is far better!.

I can't make sense of this either.

The age gap between children isn't dictated by the age of their parents

I’m 16 years older than my guy (me 40,s, he 30’s) and have had 8 very happy years together. Thankfully he looks old for his age and me young for mine so I have been mistaken as younger than him more than once!

In the long-term however, I’m not sure I see a future if I’m honest due to pp comments as I think once I hit late 60/80s the age difference my be very very apparent. He wants to get married but I’m holding off while I think this through properly.

I read the thread wrong on the train sorry!

My chap is 64; I'm 48. We work well as a couple but are at different life stages (he's retired and a grandfather whereas I work and have teens at home). Of course I love him but I am hesitant about any long term future, mainly because of the health issues others have mentioned. We don't live together and have no plans to and I enjoy the relationship on a day to day basis.

Short term no, especially if he is in good health and fit.
I think it can be a huge problem long term though.
For some reason I've known more than my fair share of couples with large age differences and each has seen the woman widowed between 50/60.
You think this would be obvious, at least half expected, but with only one exception the women were ill prepared having not wanted to think about it.
The exception had a plan and knew the time would come when she was a youngish widow.

Hi my mum and dad had 24 years between them and very happy my daughter dated someone 16 years older and went well - however my mum died at 72 leaving us caring for a mid ninety year old which was hard

I'm dating a guy who is 12 years older than me, for nearly a year now. We are taking it really slow but I still struggle with the age really. I'm in my 40s with a five year old child, his grandchild is four so I'm totally different life stages. I do enjoy our time together but I can't see it working out long term. For now we are enjoying what we have.

It depends on what you both want long term. I was 19 and my DH 34. We had clear plans about children (neither of us wanted any) until we changed our mind. Fast forward to now and I am 38 and he is 53 we have 2 children. I was naive about his previous marriage and all that entailed but we have overcome so much and have a strong relationship. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change a thing, you just both have to be flexible about making decisions because at times you may be at odds.

Same age gap as me and DH. It's never been an issue for us. If other people have a problem with it then that's their issue to get over not ours. I've never been happier. Good luck OP

Wow

Been there done that.Wouldnt recommend if you dont have kids already.

Reported the unintelligent comment with no input.

I'd give more thought to the blended family aspect than the age aspect.

We too have an age gap and that hasn't been apparent. DH had given up hope of finding someone and becoming a Dad and he's been brilliant. I needed someone stable and mature and I got that.

I'm under no illusion that a difference will bring challenges and problems later in life, but we've got friends who have become ill/injured in their 30s and 40s which has completely changed their relationships.

Should I pass up for 20 or 30 years of happiness and love because of the risk he'll age/get ill/die? I'd rather not!

Close friend is married to a man a couple of years younger than her dad, 30 year age gap, they're happy, who is anyone else to judge?

who is anyone else to judge?

The thread wasn't about judgement, it was about whether age gap relationships are a good choice. I'm not here to judge as my own DH is 20 older than me, but I can honestly say I wouldn't advise anyone to go into a relationship with a huge gap.

Probably. In the future.

He's not yet fifty and if he's healthy and confident and in good nic for his age then I get it. But think about having two kids with him in 12 years time, your kids wouldn't even be out of primary school and he'd be nearly 60