Massively awkward situation with new man...what would you do?

[User17303]

I’ll keep it short. Met a great man (after dating many!). We talk most days but have only met a few times. Next one arranged.

I suspected after date two that I had actually been on a date with his best friend from childhood. On date three this was confirmed (I did some online digging).

It’s awkward because they live a LONG way from each other...and although I travel for work, I am worried it looks very slutty or something else to have happened to have dated his best friend! I only met his friend once, nothing happened, not even a kiss, although we spoke on the phone over a 3 months and did aim to meet up again but distance made it difficult. I hadn’t heard from him in 6 months by the time I met this guy.

I don’t know what to do! Should I mention it?!

I have thought like you in these situations. I get where you are coming from, but it's not like you already knew them both is it? Then went from one to the other! In the dating world people meet etc, it happens, I'm sure the guy you have just started seeing has done the same or similar.
I think mention it when you think the time is right, I would not worry when hardly in a relationship with this guy yet.x

It's a complete non-incident OP.
You don't even need to mention it.
Just enjoy dating this guy if you like him.
Stop self-sabotaging and over-analysing this.
You like each other.
Just get on with it!

I’m genuinely confused as to what the problem is, unless you said “I have never been on a date or dated anyone” when you met the guy you’re seeing.

The internet ‘research’ is a bit odd though and would probably be a bit concerning for him to hear about.

My boyfriend has hooked up with a few of my friends, which we discovered on a night out when they were there. Not a problem, going on dates, sex etc are all a normal part of adulthood.

Much ado about nothing op

He might also feel like second best?

If you put your mind to it, you can probably dream up so many what ifs that you end up feeling paralysed and unable to act in your own life.

Another way to look at it is to realise that something thinking your behaviour slutty is their problem.

It would mention it lightly as a slightly amusing coincidence that you had once met his friend. Small world.

If he reacts badly, that says more about him that it says about you. It's better for you to know early days.

Why would you mention anything? You'll just look as though you've been stalking his social media which I would find a lot more concerning than you having been on a date with my pal.