Fed up of DH

[Biancadelrioisback]

Just that really!
Every morning he "can't" get up.
I get up at 5:30, shower, dry my hair, do my makeup, make us coffee, wake up DS, get him breakfast, pack his bag for nursery, make his packed lunch, make packed lunches for DH and I, brush DSs teeth and wash his face, get him dressed, get me dressed etc. We need to leave the house at 7:30 and despite several attempts to wake DH up, he rolls out of bed at 7:15, into the shower, clothes on and is ready to go.
This morning I lost it with him. I've spoke about this with him as many times but he always says "I don't need to get up any earlier, I'm always ready on time" or "fine, from now on I'll sort out DS, you just do you" but he never does.
On the odd occasion we are late getting out the house, he is the one in a bad mood! He can't be late for work whereas my work are quite happy with me getting in any time before 10. I'm sick of being tired in the mornings. I'm sick of asking for help and nothing changing.
It's worth noting that DH does have depression and has always needed more sleep than me to function. It was a running joke with his mates that he needed 10 hours sleep a night and will nap given half a chance. He didn't get a nap or a lie in this weekend (I did for once) because of other commitments he made. He said that it isnt fair because I don't understand how tired he is and I'm "having a go".

He is a great guy in other aspects and I love him dearly. He is a great dad and a great partner is every other way....but I can't cope with the stress each morning! I end up sprinting around that by the time I get into work, I'm frazzled. I have to deal with a screaming DS, constantly pop into our room to give him a time update, I turn the lights on and open the curtains but I feel like I'm a mum of a slobby teenager sometimes.
What do I do?!

He gets home between 7-8pm and cooks tea
How do you get home and at what time?

It might help him to take his medicine at a different time of day. He should ask his GP. Otherwise, could you get your DS and putt him in the bed with your DP? I have never known that not to work !

How do you get home then after work? If you say you finish at 5, he is getting home 7-8pm? But you say in your earlier post you must travel together as you can't afford to travel separately? So are you waiting around for him after work then?
Also if your DH is coming home from work then cooking, then although i know there are many other jobs needing doing other than cooking, this is still an important one, and one less thing for you to do. So providing he clears up after he cooks, what are you doing in your evenings, that lunch can't be sorted, and a shower etc, so that like another poster said, in the morning it is just teeth/quick wash, breakfast etc, get dressed, then you can still get up a little later if you like.
Do you drive? If so and like someone else said, if DH doesn't get up and sorted, can you drive yourself to work, does the morning commute usually involve dropping your DS off too? Sorry I don't think that was in your post or I have missed it.

I walk over to his office, pick up the car and drive home. He will catch a lift home with someone he knows who works nearby.
I'm usually home by around 6:15 ISH as the drive is no where near as hellish on the way home.

Other than the mornings, he does his share around the house. Why are people accusing him of not cleaning the kitchen?? That is his haven. He keeps it sparkling. Our general rule is downstairs is his and upstairs is mine but pretty flex.

I'm taking in what people are saying re being better organised of an evening, and I intend to take that onboard. Along with stopping enabling him in the mornings and let it get a bit shit before it gets better. Some of the comments however are unnecessary.

I get home, usually having collected DS from childminders/grandparents, play with him, do bath, teeth, bed etc then will usually study for work or housework

Finances are shit due to me losing my job after mat leave. Without getting into too much detail (as not relevant) we got into debt as a result.

Can you ask him to make lunches for all three of you the night before?

Can’t you do some things night before? Waking up at 5:30?! I’d hate that and doubt I could do it. When does your ds go to sleep? Is he waking at 5:30? My dd is 6:45 till 8:30/9 neither of us could hack that early

Get DH to make all the sandwiches the night before. Have your shower the night before. Enjoy an extra hour in bed!

I see you do drive, have a serious talk with him and give him the rest of this week to improve and if he doesn’t I would seriously get up a day sort you and DS and leave, no updating him on time and chivvying him along, maybe he needs to miss a day at work as a wake up call.

Taking your dh out of the equation, your morning sounds a bit more stressful than it needs to be. I struggle to get up in the morning, I wish I got up earlier, but as I don't my kids and I are often up, dressed and breakfast inc porridge, eggs etc. and out of the door within around 30mins. An hour would be cushty. Can you cut down some things. Pack lunches are made the night before, as are showers.

Sit down calmly and tell dh that you are finding the mornings difficult and that you will wake him once at x time by stripping the bed, opening the curtains, turning all the lights on and putting music on his phone and you will not be back up for any second calls or reminders.