Would you let your partner throw things when angry?

[lilcreed]

Tonight I was in bed with my partner watching TV. This is a little embarrassing but I’ve had a really bad tummy at the moment and passed some wind (he does this all the time- as couples do).

He got angry, shouted at me and as he flipped the
covers to get out of the bed he threw the remote in my direction. It hit my brow bone. He said he didn’t mean to and that he was sorry and he walked off.

I feel really upset about it. I also feel upset that he’s walked away without seeing if I’m ok. He’s sulking downstairs watching tv.

I’m not clear — did the remote just fly up and hit you by pure accident when he flapped the covers after you farted, or did he actually throw it?

He sounds like a dick. What a total overreaction. Even if he had no idea he might hurt you, it's completely unacceptable to not check you were ok and apologise.

That sounds prattish but accidental.

Um no.

I couldn’t tell if accidental or not. It all happened so quickly. But straight away he said ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to throw it at you’. Then walked off.

It might seem like an over reaction on my part but I feel that it overstepped the mark.

He should at least come back to check you’re okay. You farted, you didn’t open a vial of ricin under the covers.

Did he actually throw it or did it fly up when the covers were flipped over? If he threw it in your face, of course that’s absolutely unacceptable. Huge red flag. If it accidentally hit you when he was huffily pulling the covers back, he should be grovelingly apologetic, not sulking like a child.

Cross post. He definitely overstepped the mark. How long have you been with him?

Get out now.

You know that he is an abusive dick though - otherwise you wouldn't have posted here.

It doesn't matter whether he intended to hit you or just didn't care you were hit., Either is shit.

Get out now. Seriously have higher standards than putting up with a man who injured you (intentionally or not - I know where I'd lay my bet) for farting and walked off and left you there. Seriously OP. Look at this realistically. Don't be the woman posting on MN in 20 years saying "well he was always difficult but .." with your life in tatters. get out now.

How long have you been with him? He sounds like someone who has an excessively bad temper and double standards.

He sounds like someone who has an excessively bad temper and double standards.

yes and also someone who hits women. she was hit by his actions. he didn't give a shit.

get out now OP.

I’ve spoken to him (well shouted).

He did throw the remote but according to him didn’t mean to hit me. He’s gone defensive and is saying that I’m talking to him like shit. I’ve been with him 6 years.

He then said (which made me feel angry more) that he didn’t throw it at any force. I am seething. He’s acting like I’m making it a big deal

If he's turning it around on you it is bad news. My ex was abusive. He would throw things around and at me rather than hitting me directly and was abusive in a million other ways. If you aren't happy, leaving is always possible.

Get him out. Now.

WTF is he getting so pissed about a fart??????? Does he allow you to breathe? Blink? What about a tummy growl?

He sounds like a massive bellend.

'He threw the remote in my direction.'

OP he threw the remote at you. He threw it at you, he did not throw it in your direction where it accidentally hit you in the face.

He's abusive and I have no doubt, that if I dug a little deeper, there would be emotional abuse as well.

Has he thrown stuff at you before?
He's abusive, you should leave him before it escalates

So he farts all the time but gets angry when you do! Do you seriously want to live like this forever?

I bet he's the type to laugh when he does his own farts too!

Sounds like a complete twat...an abusive one. I couldn't stay with a man who completely overreacted like this and then became abusive to try and cover up his behaviour.

That’s not ok; first of all that’s ridiculous to get angry about and secondly he did throw it at you.

Normal behaviour when your partner farts, is either to laugh, or roll your eyes.

This behaviour is abusive - throwing things at you, then trying to make you think it was your fault. Does he do anything else abusive?

Bloody hell! You farted. He got so angry that he threw something at you (hard enough that it hit you in the face!!) Stormed off and left you, then blamed you!

He's a keeper!

OP...you know this is not normal behaviour right? A fart would/should not provoke this kind of reaction!!

Your title asks if we would let our partner throw things. First thing: you have absolutely no control over whether he chooses to throw things. Absolutely none. You cannot let or don't let. He is choosing to behave like this. Now he's done it once, you're going to be on tenterhooks waiting to see if it happens again next time he gets angry. He's gone from sorry i didn't mean to, to sorry i didn't mean to hit you with it. When he escalates, and he will, it'll be "i didn't meant to hit/push/slap you but you made me do it" Maybe he didn't, but the fact is it did hit you and now he's blaming you for it. All you did was fart. If you can't fart in your own bedroom with the person you love then when the hell can you?!

Bottom line is. He's abusive. If he wasn't abusive and this was a genuine accident he would be falling over himself to genuinely apologise. I expect if you scratch the surface there would be a whole host of other abusive behaviour going on.

No I wouldn’t. I have to confess though that I did throw a cup down on the ground that smashed right after DP (now ex) confessed to cheating on me. I was unloading the dishwasher when he told me. But I certainly didn’t throw the cup at him. And I have never ever done anything like that again. First and last time in 39 years.