Husband and money

[ittybittylivingspace]

Hi all,

Would appreciate your views on my DH and I money situation. This will be long, sorry.

We've been together 13 years, married for 4, have a baby together. We own a house together and until I went on maternity leave we paid the same amount each into the joint account each month for mortgage and bills. DH earns £23k a year and I earn £14k.

When I went on maternity leave I got 6 weeks of 90% pay, then it's 33 weeks of SMP which is about £580 a month. Now I'm on zero per month for the next few months until I return to work. DH has been paying an extra £200 into the joint account each month and I've been paying £200 less in. I've been using my savings to fund myself while off work. When I go back to work I will have about £5k left of my savings. DH has £33k savings. I'll be doing 3 days a week and won't be able to afford to pay half the mortgage and bills. I also won't qualify for universal credit due to DH's savings. I don't see a penny of this money though.

Should he continue paying more money into the joint account and me pay less seen as my wage will be about 3 times less than his? I'll only be on £8k. I know if I ask him to do this it will cause a major argument.

This is shocking, OP. You should not be out of pocket due to mat leave for your SHARED child. I agree with other posters who suggest charging him for childcare (or at least pointing out to him that by your current system that would be entirely reasonable). Why have you been forced to shoulder the financial burden of having a child? He's absolutely taking the piss.

Somehow missed your final update before posting. God, this is quite a mess. But your current financial inequality cannot be allowed to continue, whatever the complexities surrounding how you agreed to have the child.

Seriously I don't think your marriage is going to survive, he didn't want to marry and he didn't want kids... he will continue to throw this back at you forever!

What Random Mess wrote.

Your H also does not want to share and never has wanted to share either. Better to be on your own with your child than to remain so badly accompanied.

Nope keep it as it is.. but charge him for childcare until you go back to work.
What a dick.

You are going to be living as a single parent anyway, you doing everything for DC and him doing what he wants

*I need him to help me out more
*
No, OP - you don't need him to "help you out". What you need him to do is actually pull his own weight. He is currently dodging HIS responsibilities to his family (both financial and in terms of childcare).

If you divorced he’d have to pay you maintenance, you’d also be entitled to tax credits etc.
You’d probably be better if being single. It doesn’t sound as if either of you are happy.

In all honesty this relationship sounds dead in the water. It could be revived if you both made changes but I can’t see it happening

If you divorced he’d have to pay you maintenance, you’d also be entitled to tax credits etc.

There are no more tax credits for new applicants. It's all Universal Credit now. It's not very generous but then, the OP's husband is financially abusive.