it is now illegal for your partner

[Jenasaurus]

to do these 10 things in a relationship

www.theargus.co.uk/news/18141005.10-signs-coercive-control-within-relationship/?fbclid=IwAR0FreMbmWjd64wodBnqY5FRau--acdY2Vs_HDNP-hS-iT0y9nxm5usZwaU

Controlling what you wear or how you look could also now be grounds for prosecution under the changes

Don’t show DH this. He’ll bring it up when I make him change out of his tracksuit to go to Sunday dinner!

I've been controlled by my (now) ex for over a decade. It's not illegal according to the police. DV only really becomes an issue if it's physical.

How is this ever going to be provable/enforcable in reality

How will they enforce any of this?

That's what I wonder, unless there's witnesses to the behaviour its she said, he said. A crime needs to be provable. I love the idea, but I don't see how it's workable in real life.

I wish this had been in place for my two exes.

Yes it's a crime, but IME it rarely goes anywhere. Even physical abuse gets convicted rarely (when there are witnesses and bruises). And our rape statistics are fucking appalling. It only matters whether it's a crime or not if it's actually enforced.

Coercive control within an intimate or familial relationship has been a crime for four years. That's just a list of examples of how it manifests - there isn't a separate offence for telling someone what to wear, for example.

There have been numerous successful prosecutions in that time if you want to read more about how to investigate and build a case.

Wow. I get some of them but others, illegal seems a bit extreme...

It's like rape. Unless they beat the living shit out of you, the police aren't interested. And, tbh, not even then.

If all or indeed any of those things are happening within a relationship, then perhaps publishing it as a bullet point list will help someone realise that they don't have to tolerate them.

I agree enforcing it will be tricky, especially if someone's cognitive function has decreased under stress and they struggle to explain.

I've been controlled by a close family member for most of my adult life. Unfortunately there are reasons (that I won't disclose publicly here) that mean I can't get away. And nobody is interested. I have spoken to people who say it is a form of domestic abuse, but it seems like there is no help available.

I hope that other people can find these laws useful though. At the very least, it brings awareness to people that this is not OK. Maybe it would help in family court situations etc.

This has been illegal for years. Unfortunately it’s very difficult to prove although there have been convictions and police absolutely are interested.

Unfortunately, you are right, not even in the most extreme cases, the police is just not bothering with it. Its hard to prove and impossible to charge near enough

Coercive control has been an offence for years i thought? And obviously each case will be assessed on a pattern of behaviour over time taking into account frequency and severity. It’s a bit off to mine if for clickbait headlines about zomg it’s illegal to ask your partner where they are or to trivialise it with bantz about tracksuits etc. I had to have my entire mn history under my old account deleted after my dc’s father hacked my emails, passwords, whatsapp messages, fb messages, the whole lot, and subsequently bombarded me with abusive texts and remarks interspersed with demeaning demands for sex but sure, crack on and find that sort of thing hilarious if it tickles yr pickle