Feeling like Emma Thompson in Love actually

[LikeEmma]

I have name changed as did not want to link other posts which may be outing to this one.

DH returned home from a trip recently and gave me some handcream as a gift which was a lovely treat and I was delighted with the sentiment. This morning, I was looking for a phone charger in his suitcase and I found a bottle of expensive perfume in there.

I was a little shocked as I did for a split second think OW (we haven't been getting on well lately) but then thought perhaps it would be a valentines gift for me.

Would you confront this or wait and see if the object materialises?

What's wrong with just asking him? I'd just say you were looking for a phone charger and came upon the perfume. Gauge his reaction and then you will know. Unless you already assume he will think you have been snooping?

I'd wait. Of course he's going to say it's a gift for you if you confont him now. If he gives it you on V day - fine. If not, you'll know.......

Do you normally exchange gifts for valentines. If so I would try to wait to see if it disappears or is given to you then. But I guess its whether you can hold on until then.
I think what's telling is that you immediately thought 'OW' . That probably needs to be looked into further whether the perfume is given to you or not.x

Its a bit early to be buying Valentines day gifts , i would be suspicious

Definitely wait it out. Bide your time.

It's really early to buy anything for valentines
If he doesn't give you it over the next few days then be suspicious

What if the perfume doesn't appear on Valentine's Day? He could say it was for my birthday and buy another one to give to me?

Thing is, it could be a valentines gift for you , or a present for his mum/sister/great Aunt Agatha. Could you take a photo of it? Then when Valentines day has passed, ask about it (in the mean time see if you can look at his phone/receipts in pockets etc.

But of course you are not going to wait are you and he will of course say it was going to be for Valentines day!

I can wait, it isn't far away.

You'll only be able to catch him out if you can wait. Do some more snooping in the meantime.

He might have bought the expensive perfume in duty-free, thinking ahead to Valentine's day. Guess we'll find out on the 14th!

Seems odd to me - and it’s way too early for Valentine’s Day, surely. Is he normally that freakishly organised? Can he not resist saving a few quid? If I saw that in my DP‘s case I wouldn’t think twice about asking him as it wouldn’t cross my mind at all that it might be for another woman. Are there other things that have made you feel uncomfortable to make you feel suspicious about this?

The best thing to do here is keep an eye on it. If the perfume disappears, you know that he has given it to someone else. Once it's gone, if it goes, say to him what happened to the perfume that was in your suitcase? Then he'll either go and retrieve it from somewhere else that he has hidden it or he'll be on the spot with no planned explanation for it

What did he get you for valentines last year?

Might have forgotten he bought it for you!

could he have bought it on behalf of someone else ?
My DP travels to NY one week a month for work and he usually has a list of stuff colleagues want brought back...ranges from american sweets to even someone's engagement ring from Tiffany's.
I don't check...i sometimes laugh when he is unpacking and i see stuff..and ask 'ooh lovely Tiffany's ..is it for me ?' knowing full well it isnt.
If he buys things for me, he hides it well.
He could well be buying stuff for a OW but then he could have a burner phone, he could have secret email adresss, he could for all i know have another wife in NY or any of the other places he travels regularly.
I could not live wondering all the time, but i suppose the difference is this is normal behaviour for my DP.
OP - if you already have worries/suspicions then i think this will just snowball them in your head and you should ask about it.
yes he could say it is an early valentines etc, but he could just buy another bottle or present if he does have OW

Mark the box in some unobtrusive way so that when you do bring it up if he gives you a bottle you can tell if it's the same one.

I hope it's for you and all innocent.

I'd say something now and judge by his reaction.

It could be for someone else, who's asked him to pick it up for them in Duty Free.
It could be for your VDay or birthday and he's seen it cheaper in Duty Free so bought ahead.
It could be for a family member's birthday

If it just disappears, it could still be any of these things, although in a few weeks you could rule out your VDay present.

Ask him and go off his reaction.

If she asks him, he'll have an excuse ready.

I am sorry but I really don't think that perfume is for your Valentine's Day present.

Feck - he isn't usually this organised and probably forgot all about Valentine's Day to be truthful. I think I will mark the box and like someone suggested and confront if Valentine's Day passes with no perfume given.

If he has forgotten about it he will see it when he unpacks his case.

Could it be for his mam for her birthday? Or a late Xmas present?

Either way I probably would say anything yet and see if he give it to you. In the mean time I would try sneak a look at his phone, email internet searches.

Also check if he bought it from a joint account... if he dis then he probably has no intentions of hiding it or he's stupid!

No I would wait.

Take photo for evidence though.

FoxOnABox ooh that is clever!

OP hope you are ok, can’t be a nice feeling at the moment wondering if there’s something to worry about.

Hopefully there is a good explanation.