Partner says the baby and I don't make him happy enough

[Moomin8]

I gave birth 3 weeks ago to a lovely little baby girl. To cut a long story short my partner of 2 years had a history of messing me about. When I got pregnant he seemed to step up and really take care of me for 9 months. He supported me in labour and was at the birth etc. Since the baby was born he seemed to really dote on her but then in the last few days said he feels stressed about having a newborn.

We don't live together so since she was born he's been staying with me.

This morning he woke up and announced 'I'm not cut out for this. Goodness knows how you do it, Moomin' I've been doing all the night feeds. However, he does have various health problems. Later today he said that he doesn't feel that the baby and I make him happy enough to have a life with us and that 'none of us know how long we've got left' I asked him to go because I didn't want to hear any more hurtful comments.

Next week he's going back to work. I just feel so sad and betrayed, this time on our daughters behalf more than mine.

I've not spoken to him since he went home. I feel very sad and numb.

Stop this yo yo life and tell him you are done as a couple until he can prove himself as a partner and father.
That means if he wants to come back, he sleeps on the couch.
He actively parents, that includes sharing night feeds, and 50% of house hold tasks.
If not, then work on a plan with him living elsewhere.

I'm so sorry you're going through thistbh he sounds like a real erse. I too thought he must be 18 or something from your original post. But 50? The guy is seriously immatureyet he's responsible for a child now. You shouldn't have to do everything ... however if he's messing you about, telling you he loves you/doesn't love you, then I think you need to protect yourself and your daughter from that kind of emotional manipulation. You're worth so much more.

And how many times was he sorry before you got pregnant. At some point you have to ask yourself why you keep letting this happen

And how many times was he sorry before you got pregnant.

Many. Too many to count. This time we have a baby though :(

Oh cry me a fucking river.

Classic case of the mid life crisis catching up and pointing out that it isnt in fact all about him.

Nail his ass to the wall.

He should be ashamed of himself.
I think for now you need to tell him that you don't want to see him and in turn that means a little while without seeing his DD.
You will contact him next week to sort out access.
Do you have someone who could hand overs for you?
If you are breastfeeding then it's hour long visits only and he has to come to your area and take her out.
He can't do it at your house.

Women LTB too easily these days. I think making him grow up and own his responsibilities is worth a try first

Making him grow up? He is 50, how much more time does he need to mature? To think that women "LTB" too easily is nonsense, if anything I would argue that as women gain more financial equality, great employment opportunities and general freedoms they no longer had to tolerate less than decent behaviour, why should they accept less in a partner than they themselves give?

He's asking if I'm refusing him access to her

He is trying to paint you as the bad guy here @Moomin8 .He has had a little break away and it is now dawning on him exactly what people will think of a 50 year old man that walks out on his infant and DP. Think carefully about how you want to proceed.

@milliefiori - But HE left!!
HE LEFT!!!
If he's not mature at 50 then there really is no hope for any man based on that crap!!!!
Women should NOT put up with this kind of shite!
We don't have to any more!
Why should we?
To keep our MAN!! Because we are clearly not whole without one?
We don't need a man to survive in this world anymore.
If they are not worthy of us then can get to fuck!
HIS IS NOT WORTHY OF OP!
Simples!!

His reason for leaving initially was really bizarre anyway. He said he does love me but he's not 'ecstatic' with the current situation. He apparently feels that if he's not ecstatic with a situation then he shouldn't be in it it was not like we ever argued at all. I didn't see it before but in the future he would blame me all the time for how he was feeling.

Ugh, this guy sounds like my fucking husband.

He is a very selfish man.

Good to know he can just "trial" a situation and leave if it doesn't suit him. Complete waste of oxygen.

He needs to grow up. He is messing with your head. Don’t let him.
Tell him you need space and think about what YOU want.
Good luck.

Broken2020 I honestly don't even know where to start with such an ignorant,misogynistic post so congrats on that so I'll just have to be concise: oh just shut up!