I've just got home from a pretty disastrous holiday with my boyfriend (been together almost a year) - it's one of several disastrous trips where he's been moody, sulky and mean and, despite me trying allsorts to ease the tension and cheer him up and make the most of the time away, he's been unbearable. To the point where I even looked into alternative means of getting home this time round (we were in Europe). No matter what I did, he either stayed in his mood (but flat-out denied anything was wrong), or snapped and accused me of being over sensitive on the occasions I did ask him why he was so irritable. It's hard to spell out what he was doing in black and white terms, because often he'd say or do something and then either deny it or say it was a joke. Or he'd make out I was the one in the wrong. But some examples include:
Mocking me for checking beforehand that the b&b had a hairdryer. I prefer to blow dry my hair as it's quite curly, we had a nice couple of dinners planned, it's what I wanted but he laughed and scoffed and rolled his eyes and made out it was me being vain.
Suggesting we walk three miles to dinner rather than getting public transport. The dinner was in the evening, it was chucking it down, it was at a nice restaurant (he'd booked it) and the plan was for me to put a frock and heels on and get dressed up. When I suggested this wasn't ideal (initially in a jokey way, I could tell his sulk was building so didn't want to ask him WTF he was talking about), he made out he couldn't understand what my problem was. Shrugging and smirking when I pushed him on it, and when I was saying 'you really don't understand what that's not a great idea?'. In the end I felt like the one who was being a bore/difficult.
Blanked me at a restaurant when I tried to jolly him up. It sounds pathetic but I tried to sing at him and ruffle his hair (I was getting desperate to get a smile from him at this point) - he literally ignored me. Didn't look up from his menu. He did this a couple of times.
Repeatedly pretended not to hear me. Or, when I started a story would start looking at his phone. I stopped speaking and eventually he looked up and said for me to carry on. I said I'd finish when he'd finished what he was doing on his phone (scrolling through FB). He just pretended not to hear that and looked back at his phone. I didn't finish the story in the end.
Kept saying he'd made me cross, but about small things that I really wasn't cross about. Eg we went to a bar we wanted to try and it was closed and he made this big thing about 'I'm sorry, I've let you down, have I made you cross now?' but in this weird sarcastic tone. I really wasn't cross, it was just one of those things, but he kept it going.
Reading all this back I know it's not good, but I suppose I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not overreacting or over sensitive or difficult or asking for too much. I'd also like to hear from people who've been in similar positions. I'm a smart woman with a career and great friends and my own lovely home (that he takes the piss out of) and a brilliant son (he also has a couple of kids - we don't live together) and I've read enough forums to know that these are all indications of narc behaviour, so why am I questioning it and myself and obsessing over the details, rather than just telling him to fuck off? Any feedback would be most welcome. Thank you for reading.