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Original poster

What does this text mean?

137 replies

Shakespearian55 · 04/01/2020 21:44

My apologies for this being so teenage.

I've been on a couple of dates with a man I really like. I asked him if he was free for a drink yesterday, which he wasn't. Fair enough. So I text back saying 'Okay. Let me know if you do fancy a drink one day x', and the reply was 'Of course x'.

Is he saying of course he'll let me know if he does decide he fancies it, or of course he does fancy it? I don't want to make a fool of myself by beating a dead horse, but I've been single for years and really like him.

OP posts:
snowytrees · 04/01/2020 23:49

My only piece of advice, do not contact him. If he's interested he will be back in touch.

otterturk · 04/01/2020 23:55

Going against the grain here but I don't think that sounds disinterested, it sounds as if he was a bit busy while responding so sent something positive sounding. Wait to see if he's in touch over the next couple of days.

Queenest · 04/01/2020 23:58

Hold your nerve OP. It’s a game at this stage isn’t it. Don’t reveal your hand by making contact. Keep him guessing. Grin

Original poster
Shakespearian55 · 05/01/2020 00:04

Don’t reveal your hand by making contact. Keep him guessing.

I think it's fair to say my hand was revealed on NYE when I --shagged- kisses him Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Shakespearian55 · 05/01/2020 00:05

Strike through fail. Wish you could edit posts on Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Queenest · 05/01/2020 00:07
Grin
Queenest · 05/01/2020 00:08

Fair enough. Sounds like you revealed more than your hand there Grin

Queenest · 05/01/2020 00:11

However I still think play it cool. 😎

PhilCornwall1 · 05/01/2020 04:47

I'd say he was meaning of course he wants to meet up again as

Really? I'd interpret it to mean "of course, I'll let you know, if and when I fancy it".

Loveablers · 05/01/2020 05:03

OP please please don’t text him anymore unless he contacts you first

Whether he’s interested or not, you’ve made it clear you like him, the ball is in his court. If he wants to contact you he will - don’t chase him anymore. You’ll just come across as irritating!

Get on with your normal day to day stuff and give him a week to message you but do not message him first. He knows where you are and he knows how to contact you - if he wants to he will! Don’t do all the chasing

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/01/2020 05:09

Initially I thought he wasn't interested.
But since your update I've changed my mind.

You're treating him as a mate rather than a date, though. The only times you invite him out are when you're already going somewhere anyway.

Has he tried to instigate any dates?

Bellagio40 · 05/01/2020 05:19

Please don’t text him again. If he wants to see you he will get in touch. That’s all there is to it.

Rockluvvindad · 05/01/2020 05:42

He had his kids. They were his priority at the time ( especially if he only has them EOW ) so making plans and texting someone he has had two dates with wasn't too high on his to do list, but he replied anyway even though it was short. Don't over analyse and don't he surprised if he goes quieter when he has his children.

No one can know what he meant by it except him, but if everything before that evening / text was positive, it is highly likely it still is.

Wait till the kids are gone then send a light and breezy message with some possible dates ( I am still quite often very down the evening after my youngest go back to her mum and ( she's almost 17 ! ) so don't feel like communicating with anyone for a while and it would be a gentle prompt to pull him out of the "post kid weekend funk"

thickwoollytights · 05/01/2020 05:54

Think I'm deluding myself though.

You are imo

Leave him be

Oct18mummy · 05/01/2020 06:00

I wouldn’t text back. Leave the ball in his court. You’ve made your feelings clear to him about wanting to meet up again. He may just be busy with his children.

museumsandgalleries666 · 05/01/2020 06:13

If he had his kids with him his hands would have been full, give it a chance.

Hazzy135 · 05/01/2020 06:36

I don't get all these replies saying don't text again... surely that's playing games?

If you want to text him, text him. If he's put off by one text then that's his problem and it's definitely time to move on.

I think the "of course" could mean anything and is unclear but I also think your idea about texting him after the gig is a good one. If his last reply was the "of course", it's not even like you're sending 2 messages in a row...

This is the thing I hated about dating... going against what you wanted to do in order to appear a certain way.

I met my fiancé on a dating app and we messaged for a couple of months. I asked him to meet up a few times and he always put it off and had some excuse. In the end I basically said, do you want to meet or not? Not desperate. Just wanting to know what was happening so I knew to bother with him or not.

We met. The rest is history. We have a house and a child together now and are getting married this year.

crimsonlake · 05/01/2020 06:59

I agree, he has joined you on nights out with friends so you have not been on any actual dates have you. Leave it up to him now.

pog100 · 05/01/2020 07:02

I'm sitting here thinking this guy would be totally amazed about the pages of discussion and disagreement here about what his two words text "actually" mean. I don't suppose he's given it a second thought while he looks after his kids and he will contact you next time he fancies a drink with you.

LizzieMacQueen · 05/01/2020 10:48

So, to simplify, you shagged on NYE, haven't seen him since and he's now text you that reply. Is that correct?

Queenest · 05/01/2020 10:54

If he’s been texting regularly since you last saw him I’d say he’s interested. But as you sent the last text asking if he’s free, it’s up to him to follow it up. Or lose you.

OldEvilOwl · 05/01/2020 11:17

It means he's keeping his options open. He may get back to you unless someone better comes along

DelphiniumBlue · 05/01/2020 11:25

Abusive asked him out 3 times, and this 3rd time he's said no, with a good reason, but without suggesting an alternative.
This could be because he was busy but is intending to get back to you, or he's not that bothered.
Either way, give him a chance to make the effort. He will if he wants to.

DelphiniumBlue · 05/01/2020 11:27

Omg, predictive text foul up! Not " abusive " but Should read " so you've asked him out... "
Sorry.

cg86 · 05/01/2020 11:34

Have you read the book called The New Rules? By Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider? While I don't believe all of what they say should be taken as gospel, it isn't a bad read with a few good tips along the way. Based on his reply to you "of course x", I would say to just leave it and not reply. Whether he's not interested or busy makes no difference. The fact remains that he hasn't attempted to make solid plans with you. Forget him and move on to whatever - the next man or happily single.