Suicidal ex - what to do

[MiamiBeach104]

I have broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years a couple of months ago. It came as a shock to him as I just picked up my stuff and left.

Long story forward he tells me that he doesn't want to live anymore, he has had enough, his life is worthless, he has nothing to live for. I did leave him in a bad position but he can sort it out if only he wanted to. I keep on offering to arrange professional help but he doesn't agree to go ahead. He has seen a psychiatrist and got prescribed antidepressants (he's been using it for a while but I'm not sure he's on them now).

In the past when his work wasn't going great and he was drunk he would usually start crying and telling that he hates his life, he's had enough, he's never asked for this life etc.

He has been emotionally abusive in the past, that's one of the main reasons I left him. I had 3 hard years supporting him and then found out he used some escort girls. So I just kept on digging my hole deeper instead of facing him and dealing with the issue. I thought I was helping him and us by doing it.

I suspect there is an element of him.being manipulative but what if not? What if he's really thinking of it?

Last time while drunk he texted me he has had enough and wants to end it I called police. They said he seemed fine. The texts stopped for a while. If he would text something like this I would call police asap.

I got myself a flat. And met up few times and we decided to work things out. When I said I ea t to get back to the flat he got angry and told me I have to choose between the flat and him.

I need some advice.

I called some helpline and told a couple of his friends. He has no family as such. Distanced himself from them.

why would you contact his brother?

it is not your remit to do this...... please just block him on everything and book yourself in for some therapy as your boundaries are completely off...

he is a drunken bullshitter and a bit further down the line you will ... realise this..

at the moment this "drama/rescuing" pattern is filling some need in you .....which is not healthy.. please help yourself..

Why would you think his estranged brother would do any more than you - ie call the local police and tell them his brother was reported as being suicidal?

He likely knows exactly how manipulative his brother is - hence the estrangement - and wouldn't be bothered at all.

The police told you your ex was perfectly all right. He threatened suicide and did nothing. As ever. Let it go, block him and save yourself.

You're continuing the drama by telling his brother on him. If his brother hasn't seen him in 15 years he doesn't give a fuck. He probably knows what an abusive, manipulative prick he is already. Just completely cut all ties with him. Block him on everything and move on. Don't give him any more headspace.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-49481998

Please read this OP. He is already on the escalation phase and you are in serious danger. His family likely distanced themselves from him because he's and abusive, manipulative, narcissistic twat and it's time you did the same. Block and report him to the police. This is coercive control.

Dont contact anyone about him any more

He’s not his brothers responsibility either.

The police have said he seemed fine. He’s being a manipulative wanker.
Just block him & stop letting him manipulate you.

His brother is probably estranged because of his psychotic, controlling behaviour. Don’t involve him. Just the police.

You are "rescuing". Ask yourself why you feel the need to do this? Why? By your own admission you have been treated disgustingly with little worth by this person yet are still emotionally invested?
Rarely does a person who actually intends to take their life spend months, days or whatever manipulating others about their said intentions and add on conditions ie "if you don't do this I'm going to".....
You have been advised by all on here to remove yourself from this situation yet continue to express needs to contact brother etc. Why? Is this about you or him?
Take responsibility for you and give back all this abusive manipulative behaviour to him! By feeding I to his behaviour tou sts enabling his behaviour and I suspect somewhere along the line this is exactly what he wants and needs. You to take responsibility for his shitty choices thus him not having to!

Threatening suicide is one of the top red flags of a dangerous abuser. Don't be deluded. Run for your own safety.

You have been advised by all on here to remove yourself from this situation yet continue to express needs to contact brother etc. Why? Is this about you or him?

This. Please block him and get some counselling for yourself, to work out how you can avoid getting in this situation in a future relationship.

I can’t believe you have been financially supporting this abusive man for the last three years ! Did none of your friends and family tell you to leave?

Your boundaries are very poor here, please get some professional help.

@MiamiBeach104 lovely, we are all on your side. You need to be too. He's got you in such a state that you are more worried about him than yourself. Your relationship ended for many good reasons but unless you block him now on everything and walk away, you still won't be free of him. Let him be gone from your head. Give yourself room to think of other things. It will be hard but we will listen but first, please PLEASE block him on EVERYTHING 💐