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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm not sure if it's my problem or his.

39 replies

OneDayAtATimex · 02/01/2020 14:37

I've been with DP for four years, we get along well with minor hiccups (the usual relationship stuff)

We live in a tiny 2 bedroom flat and we're getting on top of each other with being off over Christmas and New Year. We've just had a huge argument and he's stormed out...

Basically (this next part might be too much information) he constantly farts and shits, he finds it hilarious and I just cannot bare it. It's vile.

If we go on holiday, the first thing he does is take a poo and smell the whole room out. In the morning at home, he's on the toilet and I go in after and he stinks. In the afternoon, again, it fucking reeks.

Last night in bed, he turned over and trumped on me and then wafted the quilt. I don't find it funny, it's gross. We have a jokey relationship and take the piss about all sorts but I just don't find it hilarious, like he does, when he trumps.

Anyway, this afternoon he's in the toilet and I can smell it through the door so I say "make sure you spray!' and he just opens the window. I say no, spray! he refused to and said 'it makes it worse!'

Cherry Peony Airfreshener does not smell worse than shit.

Next minute, he flips and chucks the air freshener into the kitchen, gets his stuff and storms out. Usually if we argue (like I say, very rare) I'll try and sort it out but I actually think it's gross.

All I ask is that he opens the window and sprays air freshener - like all other normal humans do.

He'll make out it's my fault and he's 'so sick of having this conversation' and I am, too. I just don't like the smell of shit!

He's so stubborn and I doubt he'll see my point of view but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable? It literally is constant farts and poo.

I should add, absolutely no bowel issues/allergies/chronic illnesses are present Wink

OP posts:
Fishcakey · 02/01/2020 15:39

Air freshener mixed wjth poo is worse than poo. Opening the window is fine.

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/01/2020 15:47

Striking a match is also effective and less chemically.

He does sound gross and inconsiderate and his current tantrum is tedious and embarrassing.

OP do you want to have to deal with it for the rest of your life? You don’t have to!

Shoxfordian · 02/01/2020 15:53

He is disgusting and inconsiderate
Ltb

KatherineJaneway · 02/01/2020 15:54

Air freshener mixed wjth poo is worse than poo. Opening the window is fine.

Have to disagree with you there Fishcakey.

mrsm43s · 02/01/2020 16:02

I totally agree that air freshener mixed with poo is worse than just poo. Two nasty smells do not make a nice smell.

KatherineJaneway · 02/01/2020 16:30

Depends on the air freshener surely?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/01/2020 16:35

What are you going to do, is this someone you would want to marry for instance?

This Is a form of protest on his part against you and it’s very unpleasant for you.

LilacTreeShades · 02/01/2020 16:43

If he goes to the gym, does he drink protein shakes as they can cause some people problems like that. Also my DS used to eat Fibre one bars and they caused really vile smelling farts, enough to make me gag. Needless to say he no longer eats them Grin

mamato3lads · 02/01/2020 16:49

Rank rank RANK

YANBU.....hes disgusting

OliviaBenson · 02/01/2020 17:07

The farting on you is not on, but toilets are for pooing in and I'm firmly in the open window/no air freshener camp. Air freshener to me is vile, worse than poo. It's a bodily function and I'd be annoyed if my partner was nagging me constantly about using air freshener.

I don't know what to suggest for you op.

EnglishRose13 · 02/01/2020 18:53

This would absolutely be a dealbreaker for me.

Ragwort · 02/01/2020 18:56

The fact that ‘he finds it hilarious’ shows just how juvenile he is.

Leave him, do you want this to be your future? Does he clean the toilet? (Need I ask Hmm).

Elieza · 02/01/2020 20:11

Take a dump in his shoe and see how that goes down!

Oh but I thought you liked schoolboy pranks darling.

Grin
Zaphodsotherhead · 02/01/2020 21:19

I'm in the 'open a window' camp - air freshener smells horrible to me. He can't help his shit smelling, but he can do something - anything - to mitigate the effects.

And what is it with some men and the constant shitting? XP used to have to go three or four times a day! (He also thought farting was hysterical...)

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