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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He has just spat in my face

62 replies

industrial · 31/12/2019 08:18

We were arguing and he spat in my face, from inches away. I'm in shock. We are married but I started divorce proceedings last year. A few seconds before this he made a fist and brought it to my face but stopped.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 31/12/2019 08:20

Can you go somewhere safe away from him? Are you ok?

StealthPussy · 31/12/2019 08:20

That’s horrible Industrial. Are you safe now? Where is he?

Happyspud · 31/12/2019 08:21

He’s not safe to be around. Make sure those divorce proceedings go through.

Soontobe60 · 31/12/2019 08:22

You need to contact the police. That's considered assault. If you have started divorce proceedings, why are you still with this man? I don't think you're safe.

Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 08:22

He is acting like nothing has happened. I have nowhere to go. We have two children. I rang the police but didn't report it as the kids are in the house

OP posts:
StealthPussy · 31/12/2019 08:26

With the kids in the house that’s even more reason to report it.

Greenglassteacup · 31/12/2019 08:27

What a revolting creature he is

Smotheroffive · 31/12/2019 08:27

Sorry you've been subjected to that. Its not going to get better I'm afraid.

I don't understand what you said to the police when you rang them if you weren't telling them about his actions?

What does it matter if the dc are there when you tell the police, please don't hide it from them, thats protecting him and confusing for them.

Its important that when dc are subjected to abuse, which he has done when doing this to you if they were present, that its made clear how wrong and unacceptable it is providing you are all safe to do that.

stillhangingon · 31/12/2019 08:28

This is not ok. It's considered assault. Do you have family close by? Friends? Has he ever done anything like this before or ever hit you? It's time to get you and your children away from this man

Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 08:30

I rang 101 for advice. They said that they would come out today to speak to him but I didn't give my name.

OP posts:
Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 08:31

I'm too ashamed to tell anyone

OP posts:
Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 08:32

What will happen if I report it?

OP posts:
BarbaraStrozzi · 31/12/2019 08:32

That's awful for you. Flowers And yes, it is assault. If you can, I think you should report to the police (if for no other reason than it helps to establish his unreasonable behaviour to ensure that you can get a divorce in 2 years rather than 5).

StealthPussy · 31/12/2019 08:32

Call them back

Weenurse · 31/12/2019 08:32

Report, keep the kids safe

StealthPussy · 31/12/2019 08:34

The most important thing is that it will be logged. You need this for getting him out of the house and divorce.

HettySunshine · 31/12/2019 08:37

Please call the police and tell them everything. You need him out of your home and away from your children.

I hope you're okay industrial.

Smotheroffive · 31/12/2019 08:37

This is his shame love, never yours.

He should be deeply ashamed of treating those hes supoosed to feel love and protection for this way. Hes despicable and not worth your spit.

Report it. You don't have to do anything further,but the police should offer you all sources of help.

I would also recommend you go to your gp for help. Mention the incident to your hv too.

Smotheroffive · 31/12/2019 08:39

Its also essential evidence to build a picture of behaviour from him to get him removed via court orders, from the house, you, and your dc

StealthPussy · 31/12/2019 08:39

The shame I not yours, it’s his.
You can tell someone. You are telling us. We believe you. Many here have been where you are. Think now and contact a friend or family member and ask them to come over.

TheReef · 31/12/2019 08:49

If he'd down that to a police officer he'd have been charged with assault OP. Report it and kick him out.

Pinkbonbon · 31/12/2019 08:50

Next time it'll be the fist.

He's a vile creature and he hates you.
You need to protect yourself and your kids from him.

Probably has a cluster b personality disorder such as sociopathy or NPD. He's dangerous, it is escalating.

Speak with womens aid, it is abuse.

Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 08:53

I've rang the national helpline and they are calling me back soon. Thank you.

OP posts:
Straycatstrut · 31/12/2019 08:53

Please try and get yourself to a safe space where he can't find you and call womens aid for advice xx

IAmBeatrixKiddo · 31/12/2019 08:54

What a vile man. To spit at the mother of his children, to degrade you in that way, and then act like nothing has happened? Unbelievable. That shows his utter contempt for you. He should be begging for forgiveness!

He sounds dangerous and you and your children deserve more. Only you can make that happen. Find the strength OP.

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