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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He has just spat in my face

62 replies

industrial · 31/12/2019 08:18

We were arguing and he spat in my face, from inches away. I'm in shock. We are married but I started divorce proceedings last year. A few seconds before this he made a fist and brought it to my face but stopped.

OP posts:
otterturk · 31/12/2019 14:17

OP you did not provoke it. What a disgusting prick. Report him. It's assault.

TheHonestTruth100 · 31/12/2019 14:32

Oh gosh, that is something even grown ass fighting men don't do to eachother as it's so disrespectful. It is not your fault. He is responsible for his own actions.

How are you now OP? Are you ok?

iklboo · 31/12/2019 14:35

He is telling me now it's my fault and I provoked him.

Of course he did - classic abuser behaviour to blame you. Stay safe & strongThanks

Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 14:38

Thank you everyone who has responded. I'm ok, drinking tea and watching Netflix. Just trying to get through today / tonight xx

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 31/12/2019 14:39

He is telling me now it's my fault and I provoked him.

Its not possible to make someone who is not abusive abuse you.

I hope you realise how very wrong what he did was, and that no words can change his violence against you.

Some things can never be apologised for as they were deliberate acts to hurt scare and intimidate.

He needs to shut you up is what he's actually saying, but he can't be truthful about what he's done now, can he.

Smotheroffive · 31/12/2019 14:41

Also keep talking to WA as they can advise you through his various abusive tactics, of which you will see many as you try to break away. Tye quieter you do this the safer. Do not rise and just accept what he says and move on quickly.

Its over for you so engaging in talk that could lead to dangerous escalation would be futile.

funnylittlefloozie · 31/12/2019 14:42

If he starts on you again today, please PLEASE phone the police, give your name and tell them you are afraid. They will remove him.

Original poster
industrial · 31/12/2019 14:50

I am safe, I'm home alone.

OP posts:
Dacquoise · 31/12/2019 14:58

He has shown you who he really is. Take this as the warning to make sure you are never alone with him again and avoid arguing with him. There really is no point if he is going to dominate and frighten you.

Idontkowmyname · 31/12/2019 15:06

@industrial have a look at this link you might relate to it

www.restoredrelationships.org/news/2017/11/07/darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-and-offender/

3rdNamechange · 31/12/2019 15:07

You say you're safe because you're home alone. He'll be back and he'll do it again. If they are capable of doing it once they will
do it again. I grew up watching DV and the first time it happened to me I threw him out. please get him out ( I k know it's not always that easy )
Take advice from the lawyer and get an injunction.
Good luck 💐

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 31/12/2019 17:46

I'm so glad you're safe. This happened to me many moons ago in my 20s and by the end of the relationship he was dragging me by my hair across the road and regularly throwing plates at me and raising his fists it was horrendous and I've probably never recovered. Stay safe

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