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Original poster

17 Yo Sex

53 replies

TRS79 · 29/12/2019 15:53

I'd like to know peoples opinions on teens having sex under their roof. My son is 17 and so is his GF. Im not comfortable with the the idea of them sleeping together, but both will be 18 soon.

Perhaps I am just getting old. I do remember being that age and wanting to do exactly the same.

At 17 I wont allow it under my roof. At 18 I still aren't comfortable with it but they are adults.

OP posts:
NoMorePoliticsPlease · 29/12/2019 15:56

I allowed my childrens partners to stop over once the relationship was established but no casuals. Got a bit tricky when the 4th one tried to move the goal posts

Ohyesiam · 29/12/2019 16:03

What don’t you like about it?

Don’t use being old as an excuse though, I’m quite old and I’m not anti sex.

CardsforKittens · 29/12/2019 16:09

I’d rather it happened under my roof than in the park or down an alley. Teenagers who want to have sex will find somewhere to do it. As long as they’re not too noisy I don’t need to think about the details.

whiskeyandice · 29/12/2019 16:10

Would you rather they did it under your roof or at a bus stop or on a park bench? I actually know kids at teens that did this because their parents were so prude about it. Also wouldn't discuss contraception with them either and one turned out pregnant again 15. After doing it in a bowling alley car park.
They are 17 not 13. They will be doing it anyway.
Not saying give them tips but soon they will be 18. Adults that can vote. And get a mortgage.

patchworkpatty · 29/12/2019 16:10

Never had a problem with it. As long as it is what my daughters wanted , that the relationship was established and the boy in question was treating them with respect.

Obviously I made sure they were fully clued up with contraception and the dangers of STDs .

Icanflyhigh · 29/12/2019 16:14

I was that 17 yo teen once upon a time with parents like the OP who said absolutely definitely not. So I had sex with my boyfriend of 3 years in a car, on the park, behind a nightclub etc etc.

DD is now 15 and has a boyfriend, I know she isn't a virgin and I certainly won't encourage sexual relations between her and her 14 yo boyfriend, BUT I know that at some point there is the likelihood they will want to have sex. I am much more in the camp of them being safe and secure and not getting a bunk up on the park or in the back of a car. And if that means it happens at my house where they are both safe, then so be it.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/12/2019 16:15

I'd be fine with them sleeping over in my house and I'd let ds know where he can find condoms. I'd not want to actually hear anything though.

ohwheniknow · 29/12/2019 16:19

Where does your son live then if your home isn't his home?

wherearemymarbles · 29/12/2019 16:45

Better in a bed where they can kiss and cuddle afterwards than a cold damp patch of concrete with tramps and foxes for company

Brakebackcyclebot · 29/12/2019 16:49

My mum said the same as you. So my boyfriend and I used to have sex in his car in out-of-the-way carparks in the woods.

Which is safer?

75Renarde · 29/12/2019 16:51

Oh I agree with all the PPs who say, better to fo it in comfort.

When I was 15, my BF tried to get me to do it outside. Refused point blank. I did not lose my virginity until 17.

As long as they are taking precautions I'd be A OK with it. But they absolutly MUST not make noise. That's indiscreet and offensive to you.

It's better they have a responsible parent around them. It really is.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 29/12/2019 17:04

As long as they're respectful of you and your home I don't see it as an issue.

How are you policing it? Is she not allowed in his bedroom? If she is allowed in his room, they're having sex in your house anyway.

Echobelly · 29/12/2019 17:05

My mum was fine with my bro and gf (now wife of nearly 20 years!) sleeping together at 17 - they'd been together for a year and my mum's view was 'Better at home than on a park bench!' Grin as others have alluded to here!

I think my attitude with kids (mine aren't that age yet) is that if it's legal, I will accept them doing it at home because it will be safer all round.

Original poster
TRS79 · 29/12/2019 17:06

Thank you for your replies. I know it is going to happen even if I dont want it to.

I suppose safe and in the comfort of our house is better.

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 29/12/2019 17:12

Realistically, at their age if they’ve spent any time at all in your house when you’ve not been there, they’ve already had sex under your roof.

expatinspain · 29/12/2019 17:15

If it's a serious relationship, what's the issue? Sex is a normal part of a relationship and they are above the age of consent. I'm
sure they'll be discrete, not shagging on the kitchen table or anything like that.

Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 29/12/2019 17:15

When I was 15, my BF tried to get me to do it outside. Refused point blank. I did not lose my virginity until 17
Is that not an advert for not allowing yourself dc a comfortable place to do it? Grin

Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 29/12/2019 17:16

And not all teenagers want to have sex with every boyfriend or girlfriend.

titchy · 29/12/2019 17:18

I know it is going to happen even if I dont want it to.

It probably already has!

Capricornandproud · 29/12/2019 17:19

wherearemymarbles makes a brilliant point. Better that they an at least have a kiss and cuddle anyway, and they both have somewhere warm, dry, comfortable and safe.

lumpy76 · 29/12/2019 17:20

If it's a serious relationship, what's the issue? Sex is a normal part of a relationship and they are above the age of consent. I'm
sure they'll be discrete, not shagging on the kitchen table or anything like that.*

^ This *
I let my 17yr old son and his 18 yr old girlfriend sleep together in his room. I can't be sure but they have probably have sex. I know she's on the pill and he has condoms.

75Renarde · 29/12/2019 17:54

@Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas

Thank you. He wanted to do it in the doorway of his school. I didnt want to lose my V that way. More importantly, I knew I was not ready. I did not love him. He didnt want to do it in his house. No wonder. His mum was a controlling harriden.

I'm very glad I stayed firm on this point.

I dont know how old you are OP but there are far worse things in life than two young lovers wanting to be intimate. Its human nature.

I caught your earlier post wrt changing your mind. Good on you! That shows flexibility. Well done!

Elmer83 · 29/12/2019 17:56

Don’t stop them from being together. They’re legal and you should respect that. Believe me my MIL was a bugger for it even when we’d been together for over a year so I was 20 and DH 23! It was not a good start to me liking her and now we’ve been together for nearly 18years!
Trust and respect on both sides...they will be having sex whether you “allow” it or not!!

AgeLikeWine · 29/12/2019 18:07

You’re not going to stop 17 year olds shagging, so why not be realistic and pragmatic? Also, ‘do as I say, not as I did’ is somewhat hypocritical....

GaaaaarlicBread · 29/12/2019 18:10

When my husband and I were younger (both 18) my mum would never let us sleep in the same bed !!! I hated it ! But she said ‘if you’re serious enough you’ll move out’ 😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️ She still stands by it now if we bring it up - and her response is ‘well you moved out didn’t you?’ Lol
Both married now and 25, I reckon she still wouldn’t let us share a room if we went to visit lol