My first xmas without dds 8 and 10! I'm bloody proud that I'm not the mess I thought I'd be, but that's all thanks to my amazing family!
Thought I would be an absolute catastrophe, but my dm and df invited me for xmas eve - ok, I bricked it at 9pm and went to bed for hours of non-sleep wondering what my dc had done and whether my ex-DH had planned for them and if it was the same as previous years in the hope of keeping father Christmas alive and well for the next 12 months at least (I'm under no illusions, by this point my dc are well aware he doesn't exist but still play the part for each other, me and their df).
Was meant to be spending the evening at my dsis tonight but too far into my darkness to burden them with it. As designated driver for my dnan, was informed at pick up it won't be the same without dc as it's all about them and so the theme continued through the day!
I get my dc back at lunchtime tomorrow and it can't come soon enough - but I did it, I came through the other side of xmas without them for the first time and just hoping this message can spur others on that it can be done too!
You have got this, you can do it! If I have, so can anyone else! I've been at my lowest the past couple of days, but tomorrow is another day and the day I get to see my beautiful dc!
Love and hope to all of you going through the same xxx