We have been together for a long time and married for a long time too (15 years). Over the past few years his behaviour towards me has changed from the occasional remark to full on putting me down all the time. Everything I do is wrong or not good enough. He holidays alone and we managed 2 days out as a family last year whilst he had 4 weeks in Europe. Some of this is my fault as I cannot stand to holiday with him as he is miserable and doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. The last time we went on holiday as a family was miserable and we couldn't wait to go home. I have put up with all of this behaviour for a long time but now several things have happened to bring it to a head. The most important of which is that for the past 6 months my teenage son has noticed my husbands behaviour and has told my husband that the way he speaks to me is abusive. When my son is on my own with me he tells me he worries about me and he keeps giving me hugs, thanking me for being wonderful and telling me he loves me. I have noticed that during family occasions ( we do not socialise) my son now takes on the role of partner and will get drinks for people etc whilst my husband sulks in a corner. This weekend my husband coerced me not to go to my work Christmas do, was angry that I had invited the neighbours round for a drink and lay in the dark and sulked for an hour until they rang the doorbell . We had a big party for his family on Sunday and he basically told me the food I had cooked was shit and I should have listened to him and he would have told me how to cook it ( even though all he did was get pissed at the party although everyone else didn't drink really).
I know that people will say I should leave but I genuinely want to give him a chance for everyone's sake. Should I ask him to go and see the GP in case he is depressed? Would relate be a better option or is there something else I could suggest to him that might help? Sorry for the very long post!