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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is he manipulating me? It's my birthday and I'm so upset.

66 replies

ashleytt · 24/12/2019 10:30

I've been seeing him for 5 months now.
I have strong feelings for him.
He text me last night
"Ok something has happened "
"It's going to make you go off it"
I asked him after 2 mins
"What's wrong"
He replied .."it's ok I've sorted the problem"
I asked him what has happened here ?
He said "drop it"
This morning he's being weird with me..
I say "look it's my birthday she Xmas and you have my stomach in knots"
"Can you please tell me what has happened ?"
He replied ..
"I don't know what your talking about,your acting silly"
I said "last night you said something had happened,that I would be upset about"
He's read it and ignored me..
What on earth ?

OP posts:
LemonRedwood · 24/12/2019 10:32

He sounds like a dick

7yo7yo · 24/12/2019 10:32

Stop asking him.
He’s a drama llama.
Give yourself the best gift ever and dump the fucker.
Happy birthday FlowersCake

FilledSoda · 24/12/2019 10:36

He's horrible , what a dick

anotherdisaster · 24/12/2019 10:36

Jesus christ what a weirdo. Please don't pander to this freakish behaviour. PLEASE dump him immediately.
I would message him and say "Something has happened and YOU'RE going to go off it....... you're dumped"

JorisBonson · 24/12/2019 10:38

OP you've posted about this a lot over the past few months. You seriously need to tell him to fuck off and seek professional help.

JorisBonson · 24/12/2019 10:39

In fact, this is your second thread today.

Isadora2007 · 24/12/2019 10:42

I would message him and say "Something has happened and YOU'RE going to go off it....... you're dumped"

This definitely. Best present you could give yourself- some self respect and ditch this areshole.

SmileyClare · 24/12/2019 10:46

Why not pick up the phone and talk to him? He can't really type coherent sentences so texting isn't working.

Mintjulia · 24/12/2019 10:59

Or the message wasn't meant for you but some other poor woman. Either way, he's a creep, get rid of him.

Original poster
ashleytt · 24/12/2019 11:20

He has my head all over the place.
I tried ringing him last night but he was out with his parents.
I have just said "just tell me please because your making my anxiety worse,thinking of everything.
He has just said
Well the problem is sorted so nothing for you to worry about now.

OP posts:
MrsSiriusBlack1 · 24/12/2019 11:25

Just send him a text saying you’re dumped, Merry xmas
You’ll feel better believe me

Scautish · 24/12/2019 11:30

He’s an controlling arsehole. Dump or you will have months/years/life of unhappiness.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 24/12/2019 11:32

He's fucking with your head no wonder your anxiety is flaring up. He's getting some sort of weird kick out of it.

SmileyClare · 24/12/2019 11:37

He's making you unhappy, he's ignoring you when it suits him and you feel completely insecure in this relationship.
Do you deserve to be treated like this? Of course not. You have done nothing wrong.Flowers

It's not you, it's him.
He's nasty and dismissive of you and the person you "have strong feelings for" isn't really who you think he is. Judge him by his actions.

Livebythecoast · 24/12/2019 11:38

Firstly, happy birthday Flowers.
Secondly, stop chasing him. He sounds like he's playing games.

pinyinchahua · 24/12/2019 11:39

When someone tells you who they are, believe it.

This man is a manipulative twat who seemingly enjoys torturing you. Dump him and move on - this angst is never worth it.

mummyway · 24/12/2019 11:43

Red flag Red flag. Get rid of the idiot

ScrambledSmegs · 24/12/2019 11:48

I would advise telling him you don't want to be with someone who plays mind games, and wish him a happy Christmas and good luck for the future. Then block him.

He clearly enjoys messing with your head and will most likely end up making you doubt your sanity if you stay with him, I'm afraid.

OhMyDarling · 24/12/2019 11:51

Urgh he sounds like one of my ex’s. Just sack him off.
Merry Christmas and happy birthday.

You don’t want another year wasted on him.

Nousernameforme · 24/12/2019 11:51

He wants your anxiety to flare, that way he has you where he wants you. He can come in and be the brave rescuer of the silly woman who can't cope with life on her own.

The I don't know what you are talking about is gaslighting 101. Ignore him and take away his power.
Try the freedom programme
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Or at least take a look at it

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 24/12/2019 11:53

Yes he is manipulating you.

Just dump him and you're anxiety will improve. I guarantee it.

Stop torturing yourself with this loser.

LL83 · 24/12/2019 11:54

I would never deliberately send a vague worrying message. If I accidentally did then I would explain as soon as I realised it was causing concern. He is being completely unreasonable I would not have time for that. Ditch him.

BrowncoatWaffles · 24/12/2019 11:57

Oh Lord this must be exhausting. Dump him.

And have a lovely birthday :)

MattBerrysHair · 24/12/2019 12:01

People can only mess with you if you let them. Disengage.

edwinbear · 24/12/2019 12:03

He’s a knob. Get rid OP.

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