Boyfriend doesn't listen in bed

[CHARLonodn90]

Been together a fair few months. But this one thing is starting to bother me more and more. He seems to be obsessed with, um, butt stuff! He constantly seems to be prodding the area when we have sex. I hate it and I keep telling him I don't like it but he doesn't seem to listen. He's always asking me for anal... I kept saying no but then I relented and explained that we would have to do it in a position when it wouldn't hurt so much (as a compromise!) but he wasn't happy with that and said he wants to it in a doggy style position. I explained that doing it in that position would hurt like hell and he said it wouldn't and to trust him. How the hell does he know what anal feels like from different positions?! He hasn't done it, lol. I'm wondering if it's jut a case of boys will be boys or should I be concerned? I'm reaching the end of my tether and its getting to the point when we're having sex and he reaches for the area that I have to shout "stop it" It's just starting to make me feel violated.

I kept saying no but then I relented and explained that we would have to do it in a position when it wouldn't hurt so much (as a compromise

He is trying to wear you down, see if he can get you to completely concede, the fact that you tried a compromise, on something which was originally non negotiable, shows he is making progress and you are likely to give in.

Please don't give in as you will feel used and it will affect your self esteem. What if he dumps you are anal sex? How will you feel? He doesn't love you as no one will make a partner do something which will cause them pain.

He's a nasty piece of shit with no respect for you, have my first LTB

@ballsdeep

Sudden you'll be having sex and it'll just slip into your anus.

This happened to me - OP, please listen to us.

Woaaah! As PPs have said, he’s a sex pest! The continual prodding you where you’ve told him not to makes me shudder! No means No. get rid.

‘Boys will be boys’???? God I hate that phrase, justifying/enabling/condoning shite male behaviour 😡

This guy is a complete loser. No means no.

I think this is bordering on sexual assault OP. You have said no and no is a complete sentence. Toss pot!

@rudolf
Ifs horrible isn't it? And then I could never fully relax after because I was always so worried. Imagine having normal sex and then it is pushed into your anus its horrible and demeaning.
I woukd get rid.

He watches too much porn.

Well he's a wannabe rapist. He actively wants to have sex that you don't want.

No amount of LOLs and 'boys will be boys' covers up his abusive and escalating behaviour.

And just in case... penises don't accidentally go into arses. Just in case he tries that one. That's assault.

I also had a boyfriend like this, I kept saying no, stop it etc. Then he'd just 'accidentally' shove it in there with force and it was absolute agony! He'd be like I'm so sorry that was an accident and then do it again another time. Honestly please do yourself a favour and dump him. He sounds like a complete prick.

Agree op. He goes first. Big strap on for him for Xmas.
Then Ltb.

Eurgh. Vile man. Run away

DTMFA

What are you bothering with him for?

I would not be having sex with this man anymore if he cannot listen to you and respect your boundaries. I have nothing against anal in fact its something I enjoy sometimes with my husband but if he suggests it and i say no, then its off the table. Its totally ok to ask for something you like and its totally ok to say no.

This is not good. I was seeing a guy who was constantly asking for that too and I got sick of it. I binned him off.
This guys is obsessed with it and clearly won't be happy unless he can get it. You're not compatible and he's a complete loser.

Another vote for dumping him ASAP

It's gone from hard no, to "ok but only in certain position" and he will keep pressing until you agree to something you don't want to do.

Tell him to get a sex doll if he wants passive compliance with his whims. You are a person and you have told him clearly you are not up for certain things. As PP have said I’d be very tempted to say he has to agree to you plus unfeasibly large strap-on first! If he is otherwise respectful, he might be educable. Otherwise, bin. No is a complete sentence.

He is sexually assaulting you. He is doing something that you very clearly have not given consent to.

I dated a guy like this, he would pester and pester and eventually he tried to just shove it in there a few times. It put me off sex and put me off him, I just couldn't trust him. I would never put up with that now.

You need to split up immediately. He doesn't listen to you and that spells big trouble.

Another saying it's fine to want something but if your partner doesn't it is NOT fine to keep pushing. He is not stopping, he is not being understanding, he won't suddenly start. Walk away.

If you want to be anally raped, keep seeing him. If you don't, end the relationship.

And for future reference,you don't compromise by doing something that doesn't hurt quite so much,you just say "no thanks don't fancy that " and that is that.