Would this piss anyone else off or am I just being a moody cow!?!?

[christmasstress]

My DP of four years came over to mine last night. I've just got a new bed and bedding. He sleeps with one pillow, I always have two. He got into bed and immediately began to main that he couldn't possibly sleep with it, it's no good and too low. I suggest he tried to exchange it with one of mine but still no good. He was getting stroppy saying 'he won't get any sleep' and then takes one of mine and says two is much better. Then said he couldn't possibly sleep just with the one to which I said great now I won't get any sleep, after which he told me to 'not be funny with him'. I had a shit nights sleep, woke up with a crick in my neck began to wonder why his comfort matters so much more than mine!!

I know it is beyond irritating to have a pillow that isn't right but it felt so much like as long as he was comfy all was good and I could suffer!

Am I just being a petty cow?!?!

I would not have let go of either of my pillows - I wouldn't care what he said or did, they would stay with me!

If he's staying at yours rent-free he can fuck off, frankly. Or bring his own pillows.

He's a bell end. Tell him to buy himself an extra pillow for himself.

Ha @HollowTalk he whipped them off me before I could figure out what was going on!!!

I'm so glad I'm not being a petty cow!!!!!!

began to wonder why his comfort matters so much more than mine!!

Because you told him it did when you let him keep your second pillow. Why on earth didn’t you just say “err no mate- your comfort is not more important than mine, this is my house, those are my pillows, if you want a second pillow go to your house and get one.”?

He would have been told fuck off to the sofa and don't say another word.

Stupid twat of a man

No, that would have annoyed me
& no I don't think you're being a petty cow.

Eh? Sorry OP but he's a rude selfish whiner. Hardly reflects well on him does it that all he really cares about is himself even when he's in your house using your things.

Why did you let him though? I'd have just agreed he can sleep at home then or grab a pillow from the sofa for the ONE NIGHT. Christ it's hardly a prison bed is it. In the morning I'd have told him he can buy himself another pillow for next time he stays.

@WireBrushAndDettolMaam that is EXACTLY what I should've done!!

Your new bedding, your house, your pillow. You should've told him to go home if he wasn't happy. He sounds a delight.

Actually you should've sent him home. I wouldn't let anyone come into my house and steal my pillows!

Bin him.

He's not worth the effort.

Thanks everyone.

He also pissed me off with the Christmas present buying. This year we've agreed to do 'joint' presents for family. He has bought for his and me for mine and he wanted to do joint for my DS. Yesterday he gave me his share of the money for DS's presents - £60!! I don't want to be grabby but I've spent £300 on DS. This wouldn't be an issue but he wants DS to know that all the presents are joint between him and me. Feels a bit like he is taking credit when he hasn't put his fair share in for it! Again, stupid and petty.

Couldn't you have taken a cushion off the sofa for him? Folded up a towel or 2 under his pillow to lift it?
I find it strange how you only own 3 pillows. I have a bunch of extras for when people stay over.

What are you actually getting out of this relationship?

Nope, you're right OP, in his mind his comfort matters more than yours. I'd be having a careful think about whether this is an isolated incident or something more worrying in his overall attitude. For now I would be pointedly telling him to bring his own pillows if he's not happy with the one that's been provided for him, yours are off limits.

@PixiKitKat oddly enough both solutions were suggested but 'they wouldn't be right'. By the time we had faffed around I was too tired and annoyed to get them for myself and ended up folding mine in half!

@BarbedBloom - annoyed at the minute!!!!
We've been together a long time and I love him. Tbh we nearly broke up a couple of months ago (I finished it with him) but I weakened and panicked.

Give him his £60 back and tell him just to buy something for DS himself and that will be his present.

he told me to 'not be funny with him'

This is a bit of a worrying phrase. Almost like a threat.

When he said it, how did you feel? Anxious? Like you have to back down or it will be "your fault" if he loses his temper? Like "shit, I've gone too far, he's going to get angry"?

Has he said it before?

@FineWordsForAPorcupine he says it in an almost teasing way (because he has got his own way) but yes I do back down and my first instinct is to be super cheerful in case he thinks I'm annoyed with him as he will literally sulk for days and not speak to me at all if I don't.

but yes I do back down and my first instinct is to be super cheerful in case he thinks I'm annoyed with him as he will literally sulk for days and not speak to me at all if I don't.

You are in an abusive relationship. Do not let him claim YOUR gifts to your DC as 'joint presents'. They aren't.

Why do you panic at the thought of not being with this selfish, sulky arse?

he will literally sulk for days and not speak to me at all if I don't.

Sulking is an extremely manipulative form of control. All he has to do to get you to behave how he wants is say “don’t be funny” and that’s it- you jump back into line “sir yes sir”.

This is not a healthy relationship. You, in your own home, are afraid to ask for your own pillow.

Think that through.

You don’t sound suited