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Original poster

Horrible first date

76 replies

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 21/12/2019 12:37

Horrendous first date last night. He was from PoF, looked nothing like his photo, was about 4 inches shorter than promised, was rude, arrogant, argumentative and far too tactile. When I rejected his sleazy advances he told me that at 34 my best years were behind me and that I should get 4 cats. Awful experience.

My question - how do you end a date that is going badly? What do you say? Do you just get up and leave?

OP posts:
Winterdaysarehere · 21/12/2019 12:40

Well 1 cat would be better than him!!. 4 a bloody bonus!!.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet op.

Branleuse · 21/12/2019 12:40

If I wasnt enjoying it, and someone was actually mocking me, then yes, id up and leave

Ihatesandwiches · 21/12/2019 12:41

Poor you! Sorry, but I did giggle! I had a couple of those when doing OLD.
I said, I'm afraid this isn't working for me. And then left.

MarthasGinYard · 21/12/2019 12:42

'Do you just get up and leave?'

Yes

What a grim experience Op he sounds horrific. Had a few of them.

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 21/12/2019 12:42

"I'm leaving. Goodbye."Just don't let some creepy loser make you feel like shit. I'd rather have 4 cats than a thick abusive man in my life!

Devereux1 · 21/12/2019 12:44

Do you just get up and leave?

Dating for me is in the not so distant past, but yes, just get up and leave.

I remember at the start of my online dating saga, I used to stay put, try to be "polite", think I had to finish the course I was eating, wait until a 'decent' time. If it's just a bit awkward, do that, and leave as soon as you can.

But if the other person is out and out rude, is nothing like their photo, paws you, put down your knife and fork/drink, say "Right, I think I've heard enough. Goodnight" and leave.

Your life is too short to waste on dates you don't want to be on.

Pancakeflipper · 21/12/2019 12:44

It's him not you. Don't let it eat into your confidence. He's an absolute tool.

So when's the 2nd date? Grin

Fonduefrolics · 21/12/2019 12:48

I’d fake a call from my cat sitter and let him know my 5 cats were missing me and since they were much better company than than him I was off...

In reality, I have one cat and less sass so I’d say I’d had a message, something had come up and I’d leave.

You met an absolute arse last night. Don’t take it to heart xx

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 21/12/2019 12:50

Out of interest, what age was he?

knewyouwerewaiting · 21/12/2019 12:55

I would just meet up for a quick coffee the first time anyway so you are not committed to stay very long.

Original poster
TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 21/12/2019 13:06

Thanks ladies.

It was just a quick drink, not a meal. I still struggle with being direct enough to just get up and go.

Alwaysonabloodydiet - he was 40. Even that was questionable to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 21/12/2019 13:07

Pancakeflipper - seeing him again next week Grin

OP posts:
SavageBeauty73 · 21/12/2019 13:10

I'm really polite but I'd have walked out. What a wanker.

Fightingmycorner2019 · 21/12/2019 13:18

Move to coffee /one hour first dates
If there is a Spark then Proper date ?

Devereux1 · 21/12/2019 13:21

This has reminded me of a date I had once with the ex husband of a parliamentary woman who is now married to a TV star.

He'd knocked off 14 years off his age. Told me it wasn't a lie as such, but a readjustment I needed to make in my own mind about him.

I walked out instantly, to the sound of his pleas behind me in a rather posh hotel lobby.

MindYours · 21/12/2019 13:21

Some men are knights in shining armour. Some are just arseholes in tin foil 😊

MissMoan · 21/12/2019 13:21

I'd be tempted to walk out in style, but not before imparting a quip of my own.

For instance:
HIM: ' at 34 your best years are behind you...'
ME: 'Seems like the best men are behind me too, with only the crappy ones right in front of me'.

CocoKoko123 · 21/12/2019 13:24

missmoan fantastic comeback - for me I can never seem to think of witty comebacks on the spot!

FestiveFavourites · 21/12/2019 13:28

Ugh, what a wanker. I had a similar experience. My non-smoking date reeked of fags with yellow nicotine ingrained fingers, he was at least 5 inches shorter than his claimed 5ft 10, he was nearer 50 than 40.

Smoking isn't a deal breaker but if you smoke, then don't pretend you don't. He was also incredibly arrogant and told me I would be stunning if I was about quarter of an inch slimmer all over with bigger breasts.

I walked out while he was at the bar.

AnFiadhRuaRua · 21/12/2019 13:30

Awful. Insulting you for not wanting him, smooooth. Yuck. OLD is horrendous.

Boireannachlaidir · 21/12/2019 13:31

Omg what a tool. I bet he wishes he was only 34. 4 cats versus him = no contest, the cats win every time! Grin

Ask him why he was being so sleazy with you then if he thinks your best years are behind you. Utter twat. I wish there was a way other women could be warned off these losers on OLD.

Ohyesiam · 21/12/2019 13:33

I think if someone is being that rude I’d be fine to walk out.
His own behaviour is enough of an explanation , just say you’re going to make a call, and keep walking.

hapagirl · 21/12/2019 13:36

He’s an arsehole and you’re far better without. 34 is still young. And if he thinks telling you to get four cats is some kind of put down he’s a moron as well as an arse. Good riddance.

Trills · 21/12/2019 13:44

I've never left mid-drink but I've left after a single drink saying something like "well, it was nice to meet you (even if it was not really), but I think we can both tell this isn't going anywhere so I'll give you the rest of your afternoon/evening back, good luck"

It is hard and horrible but feels great after about 3 minutes.

GilbertMarkham · 21/12/2019 13:48

at 34 my best years were behind me and that I should get 4 cats.

That line's older than the pyramids. He can't even be an original wanker, just a very very clichéd, hackneyed, misogynist, bitter one.

Anyway, my 93 yr old grandmother has an "admirer".