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Original poster

Horrible first date

76 replies

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 21/12/2019 12:37

Horrendous first date last night. He was from PoF, looked nothing like his photo, was about 4 inches shorter than promised, was rude, arrogant, argumentative and far too tactile. When I rejected his sleazy advances he told me that at 34 my best years were behind me and that I should get 4 cats. Awful experience.

My question - how do you end a date that is going badly? What do you say? Do you just get up and leave?

OP posts:
Neverexpected2 · 21/12/2019 14:51

Life is too short to suffer bad or rude dates. I had a first date who was rude so I said something along lines of - well I think we can both agree this isnt going anywhere so I suggest we finish this drink and call it a night. Think it was over and done with within an hour - including getting home Smile

SimonJT · 21/12/2019 14:56

Does he not realise that 4 cats would be literally living the dream?!

I’m sure he’ll be very successful in his dating...

SleighOfSparkliness · 21/12/2019 15:02

Well in that case...

Bring in the cats!

bringinthecats.com/

MarianaMoatedGrange · 21/12/2019 15:14

Some men are knights in shining armour. Some are just arseholes in tin foil

I want this on a tee shirt! Crown Grin

Bananalanacake · 21/12/2019 15:33

I once faked having the shits so I wouldn't have to go home with a man.

shoebedobedobedobedoo · 21/12/2019 15:38

Having told me that my figure was “OKish”, but my size 8-10 bum was a bit big, he then asked ‘what shall we do for the rest of the evening’. I

shoebedobedobedobedoo · 21/12/2019 15:43

Oops! I said “you can do whatever you like. I’m going home”. And I left.

emilybrontescorsett · 21/12/2019 15:44

I think I would have gone to the loo and pretended I'd had a phone call and needed to leave.think
I would !I've to have the guts to just get up and leave but I'm too polite.

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 21/12/2019 15:45

40.... !! Ancient so, by his logic Wink

I hope you will see the funny side. Joking aside though, isn't it better that these losers show their true colours on the first date.

Stillsexystillsingle · 21/12/2019 15:54

If you want to leave without making a fuss just say you're going to the toilet and then slip out when he's not looking then block, delete and so on and never give him a second thought again, onwards and upwards to better things and better men! Flowers

Charlottejbt · 21/12/2019 15:58

Anyway, my 93 yr old grandmother has an "admirer".

Mine too! She's 90 and he's 80. At 42 I would disagree that the OP's best years are behind her, but only if she can consistently avoid first dates like this one, which would make anyone lose the will to live. It's no coincidence IMO that my grandmother has never done OLD or been near a computer. She just snaps up the best looking widowers who come on the market locally. Smile

Mermaidsinthesand · 21/12/2019 16:02

I wouldn't announce to a volatile date like that I was indeed leaving. Could all kick off...

Say you need to just nip to toilets and leg it dont look back

Charlottejbt · 21/12/2019 16:02

40.... !! Ancient so, by his logic wink

These men can always rationalise why they need and deserve a younger partner. It wouldn't be so bad if the men themselves were exceptionally handsome or successful, but this is never the case. So the dating sites get clogged up with entitled losers with zero self awareness or manners. That was my experience anyway.

Mermaidsinthesand · 21/12/2019 16:04

I'd like to add, I'm shocked that some people in this world think 34 is old.

TigerDater · 21/12/2019 16:22

Had one like that - rude, racist, misogynistic. My polite brain was trying to figure out what to say to get away but my much more unrestrained body just did the job for me - got up, said ‘I’m not listening to any more of this’ and very publicly walked out. Being polite, being afraid he might react badly to rejection- that’s society conditioning us to be nice girls ie compliant. Go with your gut every time. I’d blocked him by the time I got on the bus home but still had to have a thorough shower!

HollowTalk · 21/12/2019 16:29

@Devereux1 That's the guy who was on Bride and Prejudice, wasn't he? Daily Mirror article here.

HollowTalk · 21/12/2019 16:31

OP, have you seen Bye Felipe?

LilyJade · 21/12/2019 16:32

When I was younger I put up with all sorts of shit off men but not anymore... maybe that's why I'm single..

lifeisgoodagain · 21/12/2019 16:36

I've had "emergency" texts from daughter, work crisis etc and I've told them up front. So glad it's behind me! Btw my now partner wasn't a great match with his photo but neither was I if I'm truthful, it's personality that counts by my age for sure!

Jolonglegs · 21/12/2019 16:38

Before DP, I tried a dating site (the Guardian I think) and on one date said very early on 'this obviously isn't going to work' and left. You need to very clear in your own mind very early on what you want, and what you're not going to put up with.
Be your own person.

lifeisgoodagain · 21/12/2019 16:40

Ps your best years are yet to come. Night sweats suck but aside I'm happier now than in the last 15 years Grin a man who loves you who you are is a wonderful thing, don't accept anything less

madcatladyforever · 21/12/2019 16:48

I don't waste my time on tossers. I just get up and walk right out. Or if they are supremely dull I just say sorry this isn't working for me let's call it a day and go home. I never go out for a meal on the first date I will only meet for a drink so it's easy to leave.

Expathk · 21/12/2019 18:52

... at 34 my best years were behind me ...

Seriously? Women in their 30s are sexy as hell!

yellowallpaper · 21/12/2019 20:33

Arrange for a friend to phone if you send you 'help me' signal from the loo. Then dash off at this urgent phone call. Least embarrassing way

Bringiton2019 · 21/12/2019 20:41

Sorry to hear this! What a total knobhead 🤦‍♀️

Do you have something called Audrey in your pubs/bars etc?

It's a code name for an uncomfortable situation. Use then run!

Sounds like you've had a lucky escape!