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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help show husband he is an asshole

68 replies

Corilee21 · 13/12/2019 15:11

I am hosting Christmas this year on Monday because my sister has two Little’s and lives about 2 hours away and wants to be home for them on Christmas. My aunt and uncle and my father will also be there. We lost my mother 3 years ago on December 15 so this is an especially hard time of year. She always hosted the most amazing Christmas. My husband works Monday and Tuesday and is actually mad and telling me he is going to very unpleasant because he has to work and he knows the kids will keep him up. ( they will probably be in bed by 930) regardless I think this is absurd!! It’s one night out of his entire life and it is Christmas with my family !! He even called my sister and told her he was going to be unpleasant. Now she is dreading coming because she feels like she will be walking on eggshells when this should be a special night for all of us! Help ??

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/12/2019 15:14

Tell your horrible husband to go and stay in a hotel for the night; and enjoy Christmas with your family.

FizzyGreenWater · 13/12/2019 15:15

I'd go to hers for Monday, cook a lovely meal there, have loads of fun and stay over. Don't even tell your prick of a H you're doing it until you're there, then text him - 'Hi, just to let you know we came to Sis's instead so you can have that peaceful night's sleep! See you in a few days, probably.'

lazylinguist · 13/12/2019 15:16

What kind of total arsehole announces in advance that they are planning to be unpleasant?! An abusive arsehole, probably. What's he like normally, OP?

HowDeepIsYourGlove · 13/12/2019 15:17

Wtf? That’s awful! Your husband sounds like a horrible bully

Aquamarine1029 · 13/12/2019 15:18

What a complete and utter prick. As a Christmas present for yourself, get a solicitor and get rid of him.

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 13/12/2019 15:22

Is he this much fun the rest of the year OP?

Reallynowdear · 13/12/2019 15:24

Go to your sisters on Monday.

Have a long think about your husbands behaviour, your children will learn from him, just look how you adult sister feels about being around him.

FGSJoanWhatsWrongWithYou · 13/12/2019 15:25

What do you mean show him he's an asshole?

He knows he's being an asshole. He is doing it on purpose with planning, announcements and everything. Do you need him to make you a promotional video as well.

Sushiroller · 13/12/2019 15:27

Why??? This is madness.
Phoning your sister is honestly bizarre.
I'd def book a hotel room for him and tell him to steer clear for the day...

Is he normally like this???
Why are you with him??

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2019 15:27

He knows he's an arsehole. He simply doesn't care.

Bluntness100 · 13/12/2019 15:29

What he's actually telling people he will be unpleasant? That's as wankerish as it gets, who does that at Xmas?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/12/2019 15:29

Is the monday hosting the only thing you and dh will do for Christmas? If so is he put out that it's been chosen on one of his work days?

Original poster
Corilee21 · 13/12/2019 15:31

You guys thank you I needed this!! he actually thinks his behavior is normal ... he can be an asshole yes .. but he is a very good dad most of the time

OP posts:
Original poster
Corilee21 · 13/12/2019 15:31

Yes that’s it and then we go to his parents on Christmas Day

OP posts:
TheReef · 13/12/2019 15:32

WTAF! What a completely selfish twat. Normal?? That's one of the least normal things I've ever heard. Selfish childish behaviour

JorisBonson · 13/12/2019 15:33

Sounds like a right cunt

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2019 15:34

but he is a very good dad most of the time

Is he a shit husband quite a lot of the time? Because the very first job of a good father is to treat the mother of their children decently.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/12/2019 15:34

For fuck's sake, a "good dad" doesn't threaten their children's family and ruin what should be a happy event. He's a shit father, a shit husband, and a shit human being.

mbosnz · 13/12/2019 15:35

No worries.

'Corilee21's husband - YOU'RE BEING A TOTAL FUCKING ARSEHOLE. Pull your damned head in and act your age, not your selfish petulant little shoe size. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself behaving in such a manner.'

HTH.

msmith501 · 13/12/2019 15:37

I'm never one to say LTB and I won't here but he's either hugely stressed and has lost all perspective and any sense of compassion / decency.... or he's not a nice person and if you're not careful, you'll be enabling him. I can understand your sister now being less than keen but with some effort and if he apologised it is still recoverable... although he does sound like hard work.

Breastfeedingworries · 13/12/2019 15:49

What a nasty prick, show him some divorce papers!

FruitcakeOfHate · 13/12/2019 15:51

You can guarantee whenever someone says something like, 'but he is a very good dad most of the time' that the man's a weapons grade cunt.

He doesn't want you to enjoy your family because like most abusive twats he likes to keep you in your place.

hellsbellsmelons · 13/12/2019 15:54

This must be the tip of the iceberg surely???
He must be horrible in others ways too if he thinks any of this is in any way normal.
I agree with a PP.
He can stay in a hotel while you enjoy your family time.
He can get to fuck.
If you can go to your sis then that would be even better.
He's a fucking vile cock of the highest order.
And he is NOT a good dad if he thinks ruining things like this is OK.
None of it is OK.
I'm guessing he's pretty abusive in other ways too.
This has not come out of the blue.
He is planning to be 'unpleasant' which means he is unpleasant on plenty of other occasions.
Blimey the shit some people put up with is beyond me!

WhoTheFuckIsGail · 13/12/2019 15:59

What a cunt he is.

Original poster
Corilee21 · 13/12/2019 16:01

You guys have made me laugh and cry. Because your right. He is not a nice person most of the time . I married him for Better or worse and honestly we have a 2 year old and 10 year old and I am a stay at home mom. So it’s not that easy to just tell him to fuxk off . I try as best as I can to keep the peace

OP posts: