Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

I am pregnant partner wants me to have an abortion

83 replies

Kendra78 · 08/12/2019 20:43

Hi
I am 40, found out I was pregnant a few weeks back. Told my partner who is not happy about things. It was unexpected, not planned. I have previously had cancer which started an early menopause and I was told I probably couldn’t have anymore children. We have only been together a year and a half. He says he doesn’t love me but does have feelings. But if I decide to confine with the pregnancy he doesn’t feel he can continue with our relationship.
I am wanting to keep the baby but I am too worried to tell family and my partner as they are just expecting me to get on with a termination.
Xx

OP posts:

SevenStones · 09/12/2019 14:03

I think the OP knows perfectly well the ramifications of having a baby when she's had cancer. Do we need to browbeat her with that, it's what her family are doing, she's already got that perspective.

Chocmallows · 09/12/2019 22:02

Are there any updates OP?

isadoradancing123 · 09/12/2019 22:22

Please think of the children, not of yourself, hopefully your cancer will not return but if it did two children could be left, dont be selfish unless you have family that would give them a loving home

MakeMineALargeProsecco · 09/12/2019 22:44

A very dear friend of mine had breast cancer (hormonally-responsive sadly) & went through surgery, menopause, chemotherapy, reconstruction, Tamoxifen etc.

A pregnancy would have possibly caused a recurrence, so she was never able to have children.

We talked about it a lot, and her health was always paramount- pregnancy would have been too risky. It could have cost her life.

You need urgent medical advice OP, on how this pregnancy will affect your cancer/health.

This is not about your DP's wishes; they are irrelevant.

Jellybeans20 · 10/12/2019 02:36

If it's not going to adversely affect your health and you would like a child, go for it. Your daughter may also benefit. This man is not worth terminating this pregnancy over. If there is any other reason health or financial related? I wouldn't terminate personally but that's just me.

Sic99 · 13/12/2019 00:26

If you have a termination because you have been pressurised into it by anyone, including family, this will affect you for the rest of your life. Please, please, please make it your decision and yours alone. If it helps to talk it through with a counsellor, please do that.

AngelsSins · 13/12/2019 14:43

And that’s when he said he needed to be selfish. He has one child to his ex wife and apparently he made it very clear to her he didn’t want children, she agreed and said she felt the same. However some years later she changed her mind, and although he loves his daughter he didn’t want any

And he’s still not learnt how to use contraception? Or does he think the magical words “I don’t want kids” makes him infertile? Of course you should pursue him for maintenance, he’s an irresponsible idiot.

SVRT19674 · 13/12/2019 14:45

Keep your baby and expect nothing from him and you won't be disappointed. He wants he wants, and I want a Lamborghini... There isn't a man on Earth I would have a termination for.

Flip

1 2 3 4