How do I face ex tonight, I feel sick WWYD

[Honeysucklerose1]

My friend and I are going out to a club tonight. All good
She has just told me that there is a party at the local pub and shall we stop in for a drink on the way out
All good
Then she tells me that it is my ex that has invited her and that he's been texting her asking her out.
We split up 3 months ago.
She is not really into him and I know he's my ex and she's single and they can do whatever they want. That's life and I know I've got over it.
But I'm not really over him (although he's a prat and I need to move on)
And every time I see him I feel sick with butterflies etc I feel sick that he's chatting my friend up , I can't help it,
She is not really interested and is only chatting etc
She doesn't know I'm not really over him. I'm not blaming her at all, this is my problem. I really do want to move on.
But what I'd like advice with is
A. Should I find a reason not to go to the pub
B. Go and face my fears and get it over with
And how do you get over this awful churning feeling every time you see them?
Any advice greatly received!!
I've got to work now but I'll be checking in later
(I'm in my 40s btw so way too old to be feeling like this. )

Definitely, you'd have to watch your back with her so she's really not your friend!

Im so glad you're not going! A night in with a bubble bath sounds loads better.

It takes time to get over someone, there's nothing wrong with that. And I'm glad you can see now how awful your "friend" is being. Nobody needs friends like that.

Sorry but I don't think your friends being totally honest either.
If she doesn't like him why does she want to go to the pub, and why is she entertaining him by texting.
She is breaking the girl code in my book you don't go near a man your friend has been with. Even if you liked him you stay away. Not a line you should cross in my book.

Yeah she's not your mate. Any normal friend would be taking you out somewhere to help get your mind off him, not hanging out with him and rubbing it in your face!

Be honest with your friend- and determine how much of a friend she really is. How long were you together? Her inviting you to a night out he's invited her to is bloody weird- and not something I'd do to a friend. She doesn't sound like much of a friend. Be ho eat- tell her that you're still struggling and would rather not- give her a chance to show that her loyalty is to you. If she insists on going- meet her afterwards, and work out what you get that's positive from this friendship.

Thanks everyone I feel much calmer this morning and I'm so glad I didn't go at all.
I'm the end my friend did not go to the pub, as she was on her own, but she went to the club with some other friends.
I haven't heard any other news and I'm keeping out of it now, thanks for the advice.
Something weird did happen though, at about 3a.m. I heard a racket outside and it was my ex in the street beeping his horn and staring up at my bedroom window. I didn't let him see me and after a few mins and a bit of racket he drove off.
He was obviously completely drunk
I imagine he had called all his numbers and chatted up everyone in the vicinity and still not managed to snare anybody.
I'm sure I was the last port of call and I should feel humiliated and angry, but Im actually finding it quite funny. It certainly helps with the healing process when he acts such a prat.

Next time you see your ex drunk in a car outside, please phone the police and report him for drink driving before he kills someone.

Yes I did think that as I wrote the post but I was just so shocked last night it was the last thing on my mind

When we were 15 we met a group of lads at the local disco. All night my friend was telling me how much she liked one of them. At the end of the night he asked me out and I SAID NO because it felt like a betrayal.

I see him around sometimes (35 years later) and have a little pang

Your ex is a carcass and you're "friend" is a vulture.

First order of business is to get rid of her; a sustained slow fade should do the trick.

Believe me when I say that ego tripping scavenger is not your friend!!

Onwards and upwards honeysuckle, bigger better things await!

Something weird did happen though, at about 3a.m. I heard a racket outside and it was my ex in the street beeping his horn and staring up at my bedroom window. I didn't let him see me and after a few mins and a bit of racket he drove off.
He was obviously completely drunk

I hope you called the police

Sorry I just missed that you didn't call them.

Unless they were friends prior to your relationship (and even then) they shouldn't really be chatting. A guy my friend was seeing last year tried to message me a few times but I just politely answered and discouraged further communication. She finished it because their relationship was too volatile but I know she really liked him. My friend is more important to me than chatting to a man.

You need some new friends OP

So she didn't meet him because she'd have had to go on her own. Bloody hell, she'd obviously wanted you to be wingman for her with your own ex! What a cf!

Don't know whether to be impressed by her narcissistic huge balls, or sorry that she's so selfishly socially incompetent. I'm not usually one for girl's code for an ex from months ago, but she takes the biscuit for being unaware of basic life rules.

Yes when you put it like that Thingsdogetbetter it sounds very very shitty.
Well you've all helped me learn a few things!

It really sounds like she knows you still feel something for him and knows he isn't over you and was trying to get the two of you together to see if you could reconcile, especially as she didn't bother going once she couldn't get you there.
Either way it would have messed with your head so you were right not to go.

Not read the whole thread but that’s some friend you’ve got yourself there.

If my friends ex started texting me I’d be politely heading him off, and if he failed to take the hint I’d be telling him firmly and then blocking him. I would NOT be up for meeting him for drinks and then on top of that asking my friend and his ex of only 3 months to accompany me (to do what??? Rub salt in the wound!!) Absolute madness!!!

Thanks Closetbeanmuncher a carcass is a great way to describe him. In my head I just keep calling him a snakes arse and that really helps!!

It's really interesting that you have all told me about my friends behaviour as I was only thinking about him, I want to despise him so I never lower myself to get back with him, Or even look at him , but I am realising that my friend has some dodgy behaviour too. (there are some other things about her I have overlooked IYSWIM)
Anyway I'm out of it all, thanks everyone x

I mean I'm not engaging with either of them