What makes a great OLD profile?

[FantailsFly]

I want to help my friend (male) find a girlfriend and dating apps seems the place to start. To mumsnetters who use OLD, what makes a profile stand out? I’m sure it’s not one size fits all but I’m hoping there are some common themes. He’s 30 so looking around that age. Thanks!

There's an OLD thread, and that's probably the best place to ask.

Have a look on a dating site for ideas.

A good username will help.

Photos. Several, ideally. Taken by someone else.
Showing a smiling face. No sunglasses, no kids, no females, no obviously cropped out woman, no excessive tattoos on show, if he has a beard a photo of him without one too, if he's bald then at least one without a hat. a photo showing his body not just his face, keep hobby photos limited if you must include them. Try not to be holding a pint glass in the photo or not in several photos.

A chatty profile giving a bit of info about him - maybe you could write something for him. What things does he like doing, what's his attitude to life, is he looking for a long term girlfriend or a short fling?

In contacting a woman, I find it helps if it's not just a ' Hi' because if you get lots of messages they seem boring and might not get answered. Something that looks like he's read the profile and is interested in me because I look ok and my profile. I reply to ones that look like we have the same sort of attitude to life.

Because I am older, my opinion might not be all that relevant.

MikeUniformMike did a bang up job there. All I would add is to take the bold font around read the profile and add neon lights and possibly a celestial choir.

Oh yeah: and he shouldn't take his shirt off and do a selfie in the bathroom mirror.

Thanks nearlynermal, I got loads of messages, when I did OLD.
Unless his profile was good I wouldn't answer the just ' Hi' messages because I didn't have the time.

Messages should make you want to get to know them, be amusing and friendly, not needy. Stroppy messages because she hasn't answered for 4 hours, might just mean she was at work and busy and several why are you ignoring me messages will not impress.
Showing interest in her helps.
I got bored of the ones that didn't answer what I asked or didn't ask about me.

Having interests helps. Nothing too obsessive. If he's a serious gamer or cyclist or something, or just stays in watching box sets, unless there's other interests to balance it out, he's limiting his chances.

Agree with @mikeuniformmike, no generic messages starting ''hey beautiful lady''. A comment that makes it clear he's read their profile.

Oh shit, you mean they didn't think I'm beautiful.

Something chatty about the profile definitely helped, so something that stands out as easy to chat about helps.
(I put something like I'm not much of a cook)

If he has got DC, no " My kids are my life" type statements - that he has children under 18 is enough.
The reader doesn't want to think that she'll be at best the Number 3 person in his life.

What do you like about your friend. What are his good points?
I'll try to think about what else is appealing. Is he fun, witty, gentle, kind, intelligent...

Looks aren't all that important but fairly normal looking will help. Too good looking and I'd think he's a player, too fat/thin/muscly would put me off.

No 'I am a god pick me', or 'knight in shining armour' type messages, or 'women have been hard on me, save me' comments either.

Recent smiling face shots, not holding a dead fish or pint, and true height and age - it just comes out later!

Lots of positive comments on preferences, e.g. I love Sci-fi films and trying new sports. Would like to travel to X in the future. Looking to chat and find friendship leading to long-term connection'

Mike was spot on pretty much, except why hide tattoos? Better to see them than find out later and it's a deal breaker! Similarly with a beard if you always sport on no need for a clean shave pic, it's not who you are. It's not a job interview!

No topless photos lying on a bed - why do they do that?!?!

Chatty text that shows a bit of character. Be honest about everything.

Thank you so much you all! It sounds like his profile is equally as important as how he approaches potential dates. I am writing his profile although he will be able to veto! Great tips about the pics

Make sure he can spell in his replies!
Most of the messages I just brushed off due to text talk.
Apart from one guy who explained that he had trouble with reading and writing... five years later we are still together. (Plus he was one of the only ones that didn't send a dick pic!).

Big one for me is when men put 'No drama' instant turn off. What it actually means is they're argumentative sods, who want their own way.
Big yes for me is a big beaming smile & a positive outlook on life

OP, switch that around. Let him write his own profile and you have veto power.

@Joy69 so true
Code for "im going to treat you really badly if you let me"

@MikeUniformMike can I hire you to manage my OLD life?

No weird airbrushed photos or masses of filters, no dead fish (no dead anything), no pictures of women or kids (for me, i wouldn't want loads of strangers viewing pics of my children, it just feels a bit like they re being used to help pull)- telling me you have kids is enough.

Definitely no " No Drama" comments. The dead fish has made me laugh - we're all on the same app aren't we.

The tattoos I mean are the full on sleeves and torso ones, where the man, usually on the large side, looks like he's been decoupaged with old Beano comics.

No wedding photos in the profile, certainly not if you are the groom.
No dead anything.
No kids in photos. Probably no pets, but a dog might be a winner.

Height and age. Be honest. I filter on height. My loss if I missed Mr Right-but-not-Mr-Height.

Women will get filtered out by age. Men too probably. I don't want someone looking for a nursemaid/housekeeper.

No dick pics, ever. Not even if requested.

@Redyellowpink, I didn't even manage my own, I just gave up.

Some of the men I messaged were friendly and fun, but nobody clicked with me. A few seemed rude, which might not have been intended. Some just seemed lonely. Some seemed after nothing but a quick legover.

If I were 30, I'd probably be looking for someone with a similar set of expectations out of life, similar sort of background. At that age, I suspect that if I didn't have children, I would be looking for a life partner to settle down and start a family with.

Yes, he should write his own profile, but an honest friend could help to keep it objective.

We could do with a what men are looking for in a profile one.
So disappointed that those men might not really have found me stunning - I was hoping to set up a commission based referral scheme with a local chain of opticians

@Mike it's a bloody nightmare!

OP I'm 30, f...trying to find a decent man online...your friend doesn't live in the South West does he?!

I would echo don't write it for him - women and men have very different writing styles and it will be obvious to most people he contacts that he hasn't written it himself.

No dead animals
No pics with kids
No pics with previous partners with their faces scribbled out on MS Paint
Smiling in photos
No sunglasses or headless torso pics (obvious flag for being in an existing relationship)
For the love of god, no photos taken on the webcam angled upwards on so it's showing the most unflattering angle ever, combined with the most psychotic-looking facial expression

Do NOT slag off previous partners
Do NOT try to be a victim
Do NOT try to paint yourself as "better" than other prospects

It's not a competition. It's "hey let's all find something who suits us."

I wondered about the writing style - I've been dissed on here for being a male chauvinistic pig.

No drugged Tigers!

I like a funny profile but that's obviously a personal preference.

No text speak (at all). Full sentences and full stops.

I no wot u mean. U bin ere long?

I don’t think he sees all the wonderful that I see - but I take your point about writing styles! Thank you all again.

@FantailsFly, Redyellowpink might be just the one for him.