Finally chucking him out. Financial advice

[LanguageAsAFlower]

So I've posted on here (under different names) a number of times about my useless "D"P. In summary, we have an almost two year old, Partner is an alcoholic and in transpires, although I didn't know this, has a gambling problem. Final straw, he gambled all his wages away this month, lied to me about it for two weeks and now I'm left with no money. I've told him to go. Now I am sitting here working out my finances and I'm stuck. I have 2750 coming in every month and 2800 in bills/rent/ debt /childcare. (Before food/petrol)
So I've cancelled the cleaner, DS's tots football, Netflix, Spotify, audible and Prime. That saves me about 120. Just got off the phone to the bank, as I'm paying out 509 pound a month on a bank loan, car loan and credit card (10,000 all in) but they won't consolidate as bad credit. What else can I do? I can't sell the car as I work 45 minutes away. Nothing else of value to sell and no family to help? Any ideas?

Well done for putting yourself and little one first...

Make sure you are claiming any/all benefits due to you including single person discount on your Council Tax (assuming you are UK).

Any friends/family that can help with childcare?

Do a proper budget and cancel everything you don't need.

Put all debts on to minimum payments for time being.

It's all new to you but try not to feel overrun by it all - you will find your way through this. Drink plenty water and keep some food in you to see you through xxx

Put in a CMS claim against him.

Speak to the creditors about your payments - creditcards etc are not essential bills, so work out what you can actually afford to pay each month and still have enough living money. So add up rent, utilities, council tax, budget for food etc and see what's left that you can reasonably offer them monthly. (Or speak to StepChange or similar to help you with this).

Thank you, yeah I've added up everything and it still looks so bleak. Going to call the bank again and see if I can lessen my loan payments for a bit.

Trying to get help with childcare is a good shout, I can't think of anyone straight away but I will see what I can do.

I will definitely claim everything I can from him, the child maintenance calculator on the gov website suggests that if he does no overnights then it's 64 pounds a week which would help, but a) as soon as he is sorted I'm sure he will want overnights and b) he literally hasn't got a penny at the moment so although this will be useful in the long run it's not going to help at the moment

I fucking hate him so much for doing this to me over Christmas

Do you have a separate bank account so that he cannot access any of your funds? Could a percentage of his wages come into your sole account so that this cannot happen again (if you see what I mean)

Hello, I am sorry that you are having a worrying time but it's better to get your finances in order now than they spiral further out of control. I would advise speaking to stepchange, citizens advice, payplan or similar you may be able to go in to a debt management plan or an IVA depending on the money you left over once essential bills are paid. I would work out your budget, contact all creditors, supply them with a copy of your budget so they understand your situation and make an offer of repayment, this can be a token payment of as little as a pound per creditor per month until circumstances improve. Contact all creditors and ask for 30 days grace which means they will place your accounts on hold for 30 days whilst you sort out a solution. If you bank with any company that you have a linked debt with (and the links are not always immediate) change your bank account immediately and get all income paid into this safe account and then set up direct debits to cover priority bills only, i.e rent, council tax, utilities etc. Do not set up payments to any unsecured debts. (Google right to offset). Obviously an debt solutions will impact your credit rating but you mentioned you have a poor credit rating as it stands, so moving forward it is better to get it sorted. I hope this helps.

Also look at the websites for turn2us or entitled to which can help you see what benefits you can claim, I would think that as a single parent you would get some tax credits.

Sorry you’re going through this OP. That sucks. It does seem particularly shit that it’s happening at Christmas, though that’s prob why, he thought he’d win big and pay off all his debt and hide his gambling and get you all nice presents and kept thinking that till the money was all gone. Arse.

Defo get onto the council and any organisation that can help with financial advice for singles with kids. There will be probably be benefits you wouldnt qualify for before. Is there not a government benefits checker online that can help you see? Make sure it’s a gov website though so it’s free. When answering the questions dont say he gives you any maintenance as he currently does not. Good luck OP.

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious but, could you get a cheaper rental perhaps? Are you getting your council tax discount? Obviously ensure you are getting any tax credits you're entitled to (I;m sure you have already checked that). It sounds like your debts are what are causing the extra outgoings so definitely talk to your lenders about it. Your ex needs to be contributing so get a claim into the cms straight away.
As for xmas, tell friends and family that you won't be buying presents this year!

Turn2us website for benefit calculator.

Cms for child support if he is gambling go straight for deductions of earnings so it comes out of his wages. That is £300 a month that could really make a difference.

Go through all your bills. Cut what you can. And hand anything back that is his. Mobile phone bill car insurance etc. 25% single person council tax reduction.

Sorry you are in this position. Stay strong. You will be ok. Just takes time to adjust to your budget. I went from a family income of over £6k a month. To my salary. Which covers the bill. And leaves me £50 a week in my purse. ( and I know I am fortunate to be in this position).

Have you tried the National Debt Line? They give free advice on how to pay off debts and how to better manage your money: www.nationaldebtline.org/

You also try Gingerbread who have a helpline for single parents and they give advice on benefits, child maintenance etc There may be something you're overlooking.

Apply for housing/council tax benefit you may not get much (or anything) but if you rent and have high childcare costs you may get something.

Can you get a lodger??

As a single person I believe you can get 25% off council tax - and most councils Feb & March are free as they do 10 monthly payments, so you could ask if December & January could be paid in 4 payments perhaps, to spread the cost??

Could be worth going on moneysavingexpert and money supermarket and doing a soft search to see if you’d be eligible for a different credit card/loan with a low interest rate or interest free period. It’ll give a likely % chance for your being accepted.

If you don’t already claim it, put in a claim for child benefit if you’re eligible.

Have you applied for single person council tax discount, doubt you qualify for tax credits but worth checking online. It's possible to eat pretty cheaply so the £120 you saved will pay for much of your food, and chase him for child support

How about search for recipes for slow cooker meals and batch cook meals and freeze them? I go to aldi and in my area you can get a big 750g or mince for like 2.50 then all you need is the sachet and tomato sauce to make it so could last you a couple of days?

Are you able to reduce any of your loan payments?

Have you considered anything to earn you money on the side from home such as selling perfumes or anything like that? A few of my friends do this and it doesn’t bring in masses but it’s a something?

There is a thread in the money matters section about earning £10 a day which has some excellent ideas for earning some additional cash.

Also, could you do any extra seasonal work? Lots of shops want extra staff in.

So you have anything you sell on market place?

Also your dd is young and doesn't need much if anything for Christmas.

So sorry you have been left in this position.

I would look to rent a cheaper place. You can ask for early release from your agreements. You can even ask if landlord is willing to reduce rent where you are until end of tenancy because the relationship broke down. Some landlords would rather keep a good tenant for lower rent than risk getting in a bad one.

Re work on the side, you need to know a lot of people to be able to make money from selling things like perfume. Either at work in a large office or through somewhere you’re a member of like church.
Don’t do Avon. Ive done it twice. There is a hell of a lot of work for very little profit. The only ones making money are those who have been doing it a long time as they have the best territory. It’s a hard job even for them. You have to buy the brochures etc so you need a cash outlay too if I recall correctly?!

Try posting on mse - moneysavingexpert. They have a debt-free wannabee forum which has very knowledgeable posters. If you post your incomings /outgoings, they'll help you make ends meet.

@PG124

He was secretly betting away thousands and has left me unable to make ends meet.

I'm not "letting" it break us up

His lying, cowardly behaviour has done that

Thank you for the good ideas, I don't think I could go down the Avon/perfume route, I have no spare time as it is, my job is fairly demanding, by the time I get home, put a baby to bed and tidy I am done.

My rent isn't very expensive for the are £795 for a small 2 bedroom. I will ask about reduction for a bit.

I should have paid my student loan off soon so that's another 255 pound a month.
And I just got off the phone to EE and have streamlined by phone plan so it's 30 (stuck in a contract so can't get rid)

Ooh the ten pound a day thread is a good idea.

Seasonal work not possible, already on a 60 hour week, one of the things that is crippling me is childcare

Do you use nursery or child minder. My child Minder is amazing. Felixaeble and much cheaper than local nursery. She has been sick once in 7 years.

Have you looked at benefits. UC pay 85% of my child care you may not get any money but might be entitled to the childcare costs. Worth looking. Do you get child care voucher or whatever it is now?

I saved about 70 a month by changing car insurance company and switching energy suppliers.... get on Go Compare