Finally chucking him out. Financial advice

[LanguageAsAFlower]

So I've posted on here (under different names) a number of times about my useless "D"P. In summary, we have an almost two year old, Partner is an alcoholic and in transpires, although I didn't know this, has a gambling problem. Final straw, he gambled all his wages away this month, lied to me about it for two weeks and now I'm left with no money. I've told him to go. Now I am sitting here working out my finances and I'm stuck. I have 2750 coming in every month and 2800 in bills/rent/ debt /childcare. (Before food/petrol)
So I've cancelled the cleaner, DS's tots football, Netflix, Spotify, audible and Prime. That saves me about 120. Just got off the phone to the bank, as I'm paying out 509 pound a month on a bank loan, car loan and credit card (10,000 all in) but they won't consolidate as bad credit. What else can I do? I can't sell the car as I work 45 minutes away. Nothing else of value to sell and no family to help? Any ideas?

So I've saved/streamlined over 100 pound today just calling people up. Insurance and electric tomorrow as they weren't open today.
Thanks for all your great ideas

Brilliant, well done.

You can compare energy tariffs here: www.moneysavingexpert.com/cheapenergyclub

Have you applied for your council tax discount?
Childcare vouchers/scheme?
Any regular deductions that go out of your salary that you may have forgotten about such as charity/payroll giving that you can cancel?
Get rid of a land line if you have one and you're not in a contract.
I've gotten rid of my tv licence/sky package and then have now tv and just watch catch up tv. I don't miss live tv at all.

Thought I'd update with more good news, got a payrise this month that was backdated 2 months so that has saved Christmas.

Called student loans and I'm one month away from completely paying that off.

Compared the market with energy and saved £25 pound a month, I'm quite in shock about how much I've been wasting.

Does anyone know do I need to get ex off the tenant to apply for council tax discount?

You can explain relationship breakdown to the council tax department. You don't need to get him off the tenancy agreement, the rule is that they are no longer resident at the address. I always think it is a good idea to have communication with the council tax department in writing, so perhaps email them.

If you get letters for him from debt collectors, credit card companies etc then write to explain he has left the address. If you get debt collectors at the door, firmly keep them outside the property and be aware of your rights not to be harrassed. You can show a bailiff the council tax bill 25% discount to show he doesn't live there anymore.

You should look into access to your local food bank to tide you over this month. Look into sources of emergency funding as well (www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/help-if-on-a-low-income/if-youre-struggling-with-living-costs).

Oh well done!

You won't need to remove him from the tenancy to get the discount.

You are doing really well OP and some great advice from helpful and informed posters.

Well done OP. For both getting rid of him and all the sorting out you're doing. Your DD is lucky to have you.

Well done OP. Great job!
Another tip from martins money tips is to check all of your student loan payments as many many people have overpaid as the student loans people didn’t note down some of the payments that they had made. So if you want to check that at some point it could be that they owe you money back! If you have old bank statements or online banking you can check. Even get them to send you a statement and look for any discrepancies.

OP you're doing so well. It is shit timing but you will cope. You automatically adjust pretty quickly to having less and one day will be surprised you ever needed so much to live on.
Perhaps the food bill is something you can lightly trim down by switching shops or doing an online shop. It sounds like you have thought of everything you can though. Do claim for childcare, and child benefit etc. If you switch childcare to a childminder just make sure they are ofsted registered as you will need their reg no to claim for childcare via tax credits. The very best of luck to you.

Stepchange were really helpful to a couple of members of my family who had got into debt.

I would think that as a single parent you would get some tax credits.

These are no more for new claimants. Everything is now under Universal Credit. She might qualify for some assistance with childcare under UC but the tax credits are long gone.

Hi again, no universal credit possible at the moment, but outrageously if I were to take a demotion and work less I'd get the same money in total as I would be entitled to UC then. DS's nursery manager put it best when she said - it's almost as though they don't want you to be a single mother and progress in your career.

Also a lovely work colleague told me to "get my ducks in a row" now I want to bring up penis beakers in conversation to see if she's a Mumsnetter...

In the midst of this how are you feeling/coping?

You are doing so well op. Are you getting the best value for your food shopping. We moved from mainly Tesco with a few bits from M and S to Aldi and saved at least 25% on our shopping. We are buying a lot of Aldi's Specially Selected range and the quality is very good and still saving substantially. There are some things we get elsewhere but can save quite a lot on a big shop.

I'm already a Aldi/Lidl convert, which is a pain as they don't deliver, but I'm trying to get big bulky things like nappies and cat litter on Amazon.

-@RandomMess a pertinent question indeed, I don't think it's sunk in yet, I've actually had a horrid stomach bug for the last 24 hours so had to call him to come look after DS, he's been brilliant, been to addaction etc. But it all feels too little too late. I'm just so angry with him for taking my little nice life away. We both came from quite hard backgrounds and always promised that we were aiming to be normal and stable.

Maybe you can reduce utility bills by doing smalll things like timing showers, reducing the boiler temperature, turning off all electrical appliances at the back when not in use, using timer on the washing machine to use lower tariff electricity etc. It should make a small difference here and there which can add up.

Hi do you get tax credits and stuff. If you don't maybe able to get some or if getting them get more now partner has gone.

Oh great ideas @hungrywalrus. I keep meaning to do these things and ExP was terrible at leaving lights on. As soon as I've got the new supplier set up I'm hopefully going to get a smart meter too so that should help.

Tax credits are Universal Credit now in my area, which I'm entitled to 75p a month! But I will apply and get it as I may well work less next year to offset childcare and then at least I'll be all signed up.

Oh also if anyone else is reading this in a similar situation, I've just got the Yolt app which tracks your spending and tells you what bills are on the horizon etc. It's made me feel much calmer about money.

This might be a point I’ve missed,
Are they actually your debts or are they joint/his?
Anyway you could get rid of some to him?
Well done with all the savings so far, your doing great!

Very very impressive! Well done OP

No, I've put everything his way that is his, I've got a car loan, credit card and personal loan. Bad life decisions in the past really. But now that I've managed to slim down other things these will all be paid off in 2 years maximum. Seems like a long way away but it's not in reality, that means that just after DS is 3 I will be debt free! (And 30 hours free childcare then too!)