Work wife - too much flirting

[Topaz123]

So my husband has had a work wife for near on 4 years now. She gives me that gut feeling something wasn't right. She used to call him after work all the time, but I put my foot down and it stopped.

The work wife left her partner of 10 years to be with someone else at my husband's work. The guy she left to be with also had a long relationsgip and a child. I was so happy it wasn't my man she stole. But then they broke up last month.

Since then she rings my husband outside of work all the time. Usually to rant about the guy she just broke up with. She messaging my husband outside of all work hours too.

The horrible gut feeling has returned. I already have trust issues finding out a few ago my husband was speaking to other women on a fake account in inapproipate ways.

So I looked at the messages between my husband and his work wife. He calls her wife which really upsets me cause I'm his wife. He calls her flower, never calls me flower. They tell each other "love you" and "miss you" and joke about staying in the office alone for a night and watching a movie getting drunk. He stayed late with her the other night cause she had a break down about her break up when I asked him to come home on time as we needed to be somewhere.

Too me this is over the line and I think blurring the lines between a platonic harmless relationship to being flirty. Especially wheb my husband is being her shoulder to cry on about her recent break up.

I confronted him and told him I needed to a break, as i am not happy with the relationship they have. He told me it's just banter and begged me not to go as we also have a 6 month old daughter. He said he would cut off the close friendship or quit his job anything but loose me and his daughter. He said there is no attraction.

What do I do? I want him to leave his job as I don't want him near her. But he has worked so hard and just become a operations director and will soon be able to work from home full time giving him more time with our daughter.

But at the same time his work wife has just been promoted to customer service director so they still have to work closely with each other which I'm uncomfortable about.

I have met the work wife. She was lovely to me, but he's body language was as if she was his wife not me. Standing with her. Just looking at her and not me when talking to the two of us.

HELP

A work wife or husband is usually a jokey term, for a colleague you’re friends with, who supports you with work issues, will listen to you vent about work stuff that annoys you, and who you can have a laugh with. At least that’s how I’d understand it.

However. This case has all the hallmarks of an EA.

Work wife?

Fuck that and that’s just for starters!

I understand what a work wife is meant to mean. But I think its awful. I'm a CEO and can't imagine calling a male colleague my 'work husband'. I just think its yuck.

The husband is a waste of space.

Take him up on the offer to get a new job. Be worried if he doesn't follow through.

But, you have a major issue here. He is having at least an emotional affair and he may take it with him wherever he works. Sorry op.

I hate the phrase ‘work wife’. It is so demeaning to the actual wife. And I would be looking askance at people who used that terminology to describe their relationship 🙄
Your DH’s behaviour is totally inappropriate.
You should either throw him out or he finds a new job, sharpish.
Don’t tolerate his behaviour or his whining or his deflecting.

What the hell is "work wife" and "work husband"?

If anyone referred to me as their work husband (they really wouldn't, I know that for sure), I'd hit the fucking roof on them.

He says he loves you and has begged you not to leave him .He needs to grow the fuck up ,and stop trying to have his cookie and eat it then! Tell him hes got 6 months to start working from home .Meantime NO CALLS AT ALL from "work wife"(Is this a real thing )!?

He’s got form and he’s doing text book things that men do when having an affair.

Is there anyway he could have pre-warned this woman that a ‘goodbye text’ as coming? And she planned her reply also?

I would argue that they will find a different Way to communicate. Be alert.

He told her that I am not happy
This is exactly what he needed to avoid.
This makes you out to be the jealous uncool wife.
But.... he's done something.
Let's hope he sticks to it.