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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Update 2 - Soliciters today

77 replies

Coronade · 15/11/2019 13:41

Hi all
Thought it would be easier to start a new thread. So Soliciters was fine and only cost £18 for first 30 mins.
Property ok as joint tenants so 50:50 share and if he refuses she can apply for some order to force it.
The cars are fine as it’s who paid for them not whose on the reg doc and they were paid out of joint money from the sale of a previous house. If he wants to keep them he has to give me half the value.
As my youngest child is only a year away from 18 she said there is no point going for maintenance for me or her if he refuses to pay anything as it would cost too much going through the courts to be worth it.

Also said to write a will and freeze any joint accounts ( they have no money in them but he could get a loan on it and I would be liable).

I can’t make him leave the house though unless he is violent ( she said to call police if he does as quicker to get him out and keep him away). Otherwise if he wants to stay living here till house is sold he can 😩.

All depends now on how he reacts when I tell him. I really hope he is ok. I’m going to be civil for the sake of the kids and I’m hoping karma will payback my positive approach 🤞 if he is civil it should be straightforward I just want my 50% and for him to be out of my life.
Going to spend next week sorting out paper work and my friend is going to keep stuff safe for me. Going to change all my bank card pin codes too.
Think I’m still going to wait till he’s away with OW next weekend will tell DD sat night and DS Sunday morning (won’t help his hangover but I can’t keep putting it off). I will text DP Sunday morning while he’s still in bed with OW. I don’t think I could say the words out loud to him. I hate confrontation, I know I will just get angry and end up crying and I don’t want him to see me cry.
When I got home yesterday (was at school thing with DD) he was home with a big bag of his favourite chocolate in the fridge (a present from OW as she mentioned them in one of her messages). I was tempted to wipe the rest over the dogs bum hole but worried DS might eat one and don’t want to abuse my poor dog😂🤮

OP posts:
meg70 · 24/11/2019 21:45

OP are you the 'pointed at his genitals' lady?...if so, I have been thinking about you and hope that you are feeling a little bit further forward towards freedom (from those genitals!) every day. X

Coronade · 25/11/2019 08:02

Yes that’s me.
I’ve put a new thread on - update 3 - I’ve sent the text.

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