Update 2 - Soliciters today

[Coronade]

Hi all
Thought it would be easier to start a new thread. So Soliciters was fine and only cost £18 for first 30 mins.
Property ok as joint tenants so 50:50 share and if he refuses she can apply for some order to force it.
The cars are fine as it’s who paid for them not whose on the reg doc and they were paid out of joint money from the sale of a previous house. If he wants to keep them he has to give me half the value.
As my youngest child is only a year away from 18 she said there is no point going for maintenance for me or her if he refuses to pay anything as it would cost too much going through the courts to be worth it.

Also said to write a will and freeze any joint accounts ( they have no money in them but he could get a loan on it and I would be liable).

I can’t make him leave the house though unless he is violent ( she said to call police if he does as quicker to get him out and keep him away). Otherwise if he wants to stay living here till house is sold he can 😩.

All depends now on how he reacts when I tell him. I really hope he is ok. I’m going to be civil for the sake of the kids and I’m hoping karma will payback my positive approach 🤞 if he is civil it should be straightforward I just want my 50% and for him to be out of my life.
Going to spend next week sorting out paper work and my friend is going to keep stuff safe for me. Going to change all my bank card pin codes too.
Think I’m still going to wait till he’s away with OW next weekend will tell DD sat night and DS Sunday morning (won’t help his hangover but I can’t keep putting it off). I will text DP Sunday morning while he’s still in bed with OW. I don’t think I could say the words out loud to him. I hate confrontation, I know I will just get angry and end up crying and I don’t want him to see me cry.
When I got home yesterday (was at school thing with DD) he was home with a big bag of his favourite chocolate in the fridge (a present from OW as she mentioned them in one of her messages). I was tempted to wipe the rest over the dogs bum hole but worried DS might eat one and don’t want to abuse my poor dog😂🤮

Good on you for actually do something about this cheating arsehole!
I hope everything goes okay when you tel him!!

Well done you! When I split up with my ex, I had to buy out his share of the house and he couldn't/wouldn't leave until that happened. So I had my post sent to my best friend's house and I collected it from there as he was a nosy git and had started opening up my post 'by accident'!

Good for you!
But why 50/50 split re house? Shouldnt you get greater share given you will have the children to house?

We are not married and one dc is over 18 and the other will be 18 next yr so classed as adults although they both live at home.
He hasn’t paid for the house, I had a much better job than him and earned loads more till I gave up when second dc was born. Without me he would never have got on the ladder. Our money has built up from doing up houses we buy with me doing an equal share of the work. His earnings just pay the day to day bills.
So I’m not taking his money only my half of what we earn together.
I have no idea how he will react but I’m trying to stay positive and hope for the best but expect the worse. I do all the banking via my own account. He doesn’t like internet banking so that part is fine. He has no access to my account. What he can do is stop paying me every month the cheque he gives me to cover all household bills.
I can’t wait to tell him till the house is “sold” it’s so hard keeping up this act. I will end up with an ulcer if I keep it up much longer, I can feel my stomach churning all day and I would also have to keep up some sort of sexual relations with him or he would twig. This has been the hardest part of it!! 🤢

I think if be having a bad case of thrush op. To avoid having to keep sexual relations up. Yuk.
Maybe a good thing to say to excuse you being ( understandably) grumpy and not full of the joys.
I had to keep a front up whilst I got my ducks in a row and it was so hard biting my tounge don't know how I did it now.

Good idea about the thrush. Tbh you shouldn't be having sex as he could be passing anything onto you. So if you tell him you have thrush and that he could get it, he may be less willing to want sex. He also might think he's passed it onto you so might think twice about sleeping with you again for a while. Result!

I would say “thrush or something” let the prick worry that OW has something that he’s also caught and given to you

What Derbee said ^

Sounds good. Wishing you the best!

Thrush and don’t rush into telling him

What are the plans on the sale of the house? Where are you supposed to be moving to?

Are you looking for a new home together? I wonder if he is planning to leave or tell you when the house is sold.

I would definitely pretend you have severe thrush, pretend to book a gp appointment as it’s so uncomfortable.

Just a question re proceeds of house sale....have you thought about how that's going to be disbursed? Because if it all goes into his bank account you may play merry hell trying to get the money quickly. Yes, you'll get it eventually, but who knows what shenanigans he'll pull to delay it.

You need to specify that the proceeds be split when the sale is finalized with equal parts going to each of you, separately. My DB and I did this (for tax reasons) when we sold our mother's home.

Got to say you are fantastic OP

I’d tell him I’d got thrush too. Or you could be really naughty and tell him that your GP seems to think it could be an STD (but that can’t possibly be the case could it DH as we are only having sex with each other aren’t we??!! . . . .)

You might not feel it but you are doing amazing 🤩

Defo start scratching in the groin area when around him and tell him you are feeling ill and got a nasty discharge. He'll keep away from you and you'll put doubt in his mind about the OW.

At least have some fun with this.

Love bahhumbugs idea lol . Hope your ok op. Your staying so strong x

How did it go this weekend?

How are you doing @Coronade? All ok?

glad you came back OP... well done

I will start a new thread with the update

Put a link in here to the new thread so that we can find it please

Here's the link to OP's new thread.